Friday, December 18, 2009

It’s office photo time…

JohnnyRamoneThe folks in charge at my office went and decided that we should post bios and photos of all the folks in the business to our blog.

I established and maintain that particular blog. That being the case, I figure my photo should be extra special.

Now, I’m a former reporter, recovering lawyer and current public relations guy. In other words, I tend to only consent to my photo being taking when it’s necessary – like when I’m being interviewed by a local television station or something along those lines.

So my first choice for a photo of me is the one at the top of this post. That’s right – it’s Johnny Ramone. Not only was the man one of the founders of the Ramones, he was instrumental in defining what punk rock sounded like and he was a diehard Reaganite, to boot.

There’s a lot to respect there.

It seems my idea was rejected, sadly. The photo must actually be of me rather than just someone who is undeniably great. Fair enough. I’ll play ball.

So I came up with two more photos to post. Here they are:

ohno

EthDestroyerNow, the first one shows my unwavering dedication to organizations as a whole. I figure that any company would be thrilled to have an employee who acknowledges the delights associated with slavish obedience to the selfish whims of the powerful.

Should someone be offended by the Hitler photo, I’ve put the second one together. Why? Because KISS is cool.

I wonder if either photo will be accepted. I doubt it.

Now, just for fun, here are the mighty, mighty Ramones in action:

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Tell Me Thursday – hair cut and a rifle

BarberGuns

For my fantabulous Wordless Wednesday entry this week, I posted the photo over there on the left.

Yes, I know exactly what you’re thinking – this photo was taken in my beloved Arkansas, right? No, no it wasn’t. Not as far as I know, anyway.

The thing about this barber/gun shop is that it kind of reminds me of the type of thing one might see around here. Arkansans, it seems, just love to blend businesses that – on paper – just don’t look like they should be paired.

A great example of what I mean can be found in Fayetteville at this place called Soap-N-Suds. It was a laundromat and bar all rolled into one. Yes, when I was a student at the University of Arkansas, I enjoyed heading down there, doing some laundry, knocking back a few brews, shooting pool, playing video games and just generally being distracted from the drudgery that comes with washing clothes.

Now, a laundromat/bar might look odd on paper, but it worked well. Perhaps the same is true of a barber who also sells guns.

On a somewhat related subject, there was this place here in Benton called Popplo’s Pizza (or something like that) that went out of business years ago. It then became kind of a tamale and cheese dip restaurant and that didn’t last long.

Once the tamale place failed, it became a taxidermy shop. That closed a few months ago and the place is now a barbecue joint.

Yeah. That’s right. A former taxidermy shop is now a restaurant. Ick.

I don’t think I’ll be eating there. It would be as bad as ordering up a meal in a restaurant that was once a funeral home. It might actually be worse, in fact.

This post is part of the grand Tell Me Thursday event – a chance for Tell Me Wednesday participants to tell the story behind their posts. Click here to see the other entries or (better yet) submit something of your own.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Are they on hard drugs in Philadelphia?

RubenAmaroWell, it’s official – the Philadelphia Phillies rewarded ace pitcher Cliff Lee by trading him to the Seattle as part of a complicated deal involving four MLB teams.

“Dude, this deal is like way, way complicated,” said Phillies General Manager Ruben “Shaggy” Amaro Jr. at a press conference after the deal was finalized." I mean, whoa! You know? Hey – did you ever think when they mean space was infinite they meant, like, a whole universe could be in my fingernail? The Solar system looks a lot like an atom, you know? Man, we could all be living in someone’s toenail! Dude!”

Lee – a good Benton, Ark., boy – headed to Philadelphia after a trade with Cleveland in July. He won four games in the postseason for Philadelphia and was credited with the team’s only two wins in the World Series against the Yankees.

Philadelphia rewarded Lee by trading him to Seattle for three minor league prospects and a case of Milwaukee’s Best. By the end of the day, the Phillies still had the three prospects, the case of cheap, swillworthy beer and ace pitcher Roy Halladay after a trade with Toronto.

Yeah, there’s some reward, huh? You work hard to get your team to  the World Series, wiCliffLeen a couple of games for them when they get their and then you get traded for three scrubs and a case of cheap beer. Yes, they’re either ungrateful bastards in Philadelphia or they’re smoking hard drugs.

I prefer to blame drug use for the rotten treatment Lee received. Why? Because that’s funnier.

At least Philadelphia got something out of the deal. The real loser in the trade was Toronto. That team got three minor leaguers from Philadelphia, lost one heck of a pitcher and – to add insult to injury – sent $6 million to the Phillies.

Oh, Toronto sent one of those prospects – Michael “Who?” Taylor – to the Athletics for Brett “King of the Minor Leagues” Wallace.

Toronto, in this instance, played the part of the Pittsburgh Pirates – a team known for trading great players in exchange for some prospects. The hope, of course, is those prospects will amount to something. In Pittsburgh’s case, the prospects that don’t pan out become franchise players while the ones that turn out to be pretty good get traded off for more prospects. Hopefully, Toronto isn’t wandering down that sad path.

The team that is in great shape here is Seattle. They get a heck of a great pitcher in Lee and get to team him with Felix Hernandez, another outstanding pitcher.

Sadly, all the talent in the world won’t send the Mariners to the World Series. There’s a club that seems to figure out creative ways of dashing any hope of heading to the World Series in spite of the number of great players who have played there.

It’s all just too bad for Lee.

Wordless Wednesday -- hair cut and a rifle...

Click here for more Wordless Wednesday fun...

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

"Because you suck..."

My wife is a wacky, wacky woman.

We've got this office Christmas party planned for this week at work. I called my wife today and told her about it.

"I need to get a gift," I said. "Our limit is $10."

"OK. I'll pick something up for you," she replied.

"Why don't I just go buy something?"

"Because you suck."

Yeah. You read that right. Mean!

However, she explained what she meant. Bear in mind that my idea for a gift was to frame a photo of a former coworker who "retired" last year and throw it in the gift pile. Last year I got lazy and brought in a six pack of Woodchuck Cider (I think I just left it in that black, plastic bag the liquor store put it in and stuck it under the Christmas tree -- can't remember).

My wife, then, said she would buy an "office appropriate" gift because most of the ones I've purchased in the past have been horrible, inappropriate or downright mean. This year she's assumed responsibility for sending me off to work with a gift that (I suppose) doesn't suck.

Perhaps this is why she makes sure to drop hints about Christmas presents she'd like throughout the year.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Music Monday – Peanuts Christmas

Relax and enjoy…

Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. One simple rule, leave ONLY the actual post link here. You can grab this code at LJL Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice.





PS: Because of spamming purposes, the linky will be closed on Thursday of each week at midnight, Malaysian Time. Thank you!

Christmas shopping like a champion

frantic

Back when my wife and I first got married, we were poor.

We were so poor we couldn’t afford to pay attention. We were so poor we should have described ourselves as “po” because that “r” and additional “o” were just too darned expensive.

In short, we were broke. As such, we had to plan our budgets carefully. We adopted the habit of shopping throughout the year so tackling buying Christmas presents wasn’t such an ordeal – it was spread out rather than concentrated in the space of a couple of weeks.

Thankfully, things have improved financially for the two of us. Still, we have hung onto that tradition of shopping throughout the year. If we see something in March or July that we know someone would love for Christmas, why not just pick it up then and store it somewhere until December?

So, here it is Dec. 14 and our shopping is all but finished. Oh, sure, there are a few odds and ends to pick up here and there, but we’re not going to be rushing out right before Christmas and fight crowds to get everything at the last minute.

We have the luxury of sitting back and enjoying the season.

That shopping early bit is highly recommended. It really does take the stress out of the holiday and let’s us concentrate on what’s important – making plans with family, getting involved with our church’s observation of Christmas and that kind of thing.

Ah, a relaxing Christmas season. There’s a lot to be said for it.