Why leaving a camera at home is a bad idea

If you’ve got a blog, there is absolutely no excuse for not carrying a camera around with you because you’ll never know when you need it.

 

For example, I was driving past the Hummer lot here in Benton the other day. Now, the Hummer lot is a very sad thing in town. It’s not that old, of course, as the Hummer fad ended as abruptly as it started and that left a lot of similar lots with a bunch of vehicles and few people wanting to buy them.

The Hummer lot in town used to be brimming with activity – you had people roaming around all the time looking at a large lot full of vehicles that I still think resemble oversized Hot Wheels cars. Most of those vehicles are gone now and the lot just reeks of a place that’s about to be abandoned.

The lot is located right next to a Chevrolet lot. I saw a bunch of fuel efficient Chevrolets clustered around the Hummer sign and thought that would make a great photo. I didn’t have my camera, but I figured I’d just drive by with it later in the day, take a picture and post the photo here for everyone’s amusement.

By the time I got back to the Hummer lot, the Chevrolets had been moved. That’s a shame. I doubt I’ll run across such an opportunity again. That photo would have lined up both the future of the automotive industry and its past, but I blew the chance to capture that picture.

Damn.

“Y” City by Wade Rivers

While shopping at the Harps here in scenic Benton the other day, we met a fellow Arkansan who is an author.

His name is Wade Rivers and he is a Realtor over in the west Arkansas town of Mena. He’s a heck of a nice guy and his novel is “Y” City, a thriller set in the small Arkansas town of (you guessed it!) “Y” City.

Rivers said his book relies on plot, action and such like rather than a bunch of crude language and suggestive situations to move along the story. My wife and I picked up a couple of copies (one as a gift) and Rivers was kind enough to sign them.

What was he doing at Harps Foods? The CEO of that Arkansas-based outfit said he wanted to carry Rivers’ books in all of his stores. Hastings Entertainment here in Arkansas has picked up his book, too.

I’ll have to admit I haven’t gotten through the novel yet (my wife has decided that she will read it first, see?) but I have read the prologue and the first chapter. Good stuff so far.

If you’d like to take a look at that first chapter, head on over to WadeRivers.com and read, read, read. If the book appears to be something you’d like, order a copy while you’re at Rivers’ site.

I’m mentioning all this, of course, because Rivers is a nice guy and I always like to see nice guys do well (particularly if they are from Arkansas).

Yay for The Boy!

My son has been pestering me for a guitar for years.

He’s 12-years-old and is in the school band, so I figure maybe he’s old enough and has the musical inclination to learn how to play guitar. We went to a local guitar shop, looked around at what they had to offer and he settled on an Affinity Telecaster by Fender.

Folks, I couldn’t be happier. I’ve got an American Deluxe Stratocaster but I’ve always missed the Japanese Fender Standard Telecaster I had through college, law school and through my years of practicing law (I finally had to sell it to pay rent – that just about killed me).

That little Telecaster my son likes looks exactly like the one pictured at the top of the article. The neck feels great, the thing looks great and the guitar sounds a lot like my standard Telecaster did (well, before I changed out the pickups, at least).

It did my heart good to see the kid get so excited when I plugged in the Telecaster and banged out a few chords on it. The kids got good taste and he seems to prefer that vintage, single-coil vibe to a guitar that’s set up to scream like a banshee. Good for him.

The trick to picking out a starter guitar for a child has to do with balance. If you get a guitar that’s too cheap, the kid will lose interest in playing. If you buy one that’s too expensive, you’ll hate yourself if the kid loses interest.

The Telecaster my son picked out seems to be the perfect guitar for a kid in my son’s situation. It’s a nice little guitar that sounds and feels great and – at a mere $180 or so – it’s not one that will break the bank. If the kid does get good at playing guitar, he can run that one through just about any amp and it will sound good. He can change out the pickups if he wants a “better” sound or he could graduate to a full-blown American Standard Telecaster (or whatever else he wants) one day.

So, he’s got his Christmas present picked out and that’s a great thing. I reminded him that he won’t get it if Santa thinks he hasn’t been a good boy – it might wind up with me instead.

Or, I could just buy my own Telecaster and customize it so it sounds exactly like the one I pawned off years ago. There’s an idea…

Music Monday – Surf Punks!

Ah, yes. The good old Surf Punks. It seemed all they cared about was surfing, running off outsiders who were trying to surf on their waves, simply soaking a bass guitar with treble and generally being a hoot.

Oh, and the drummer is Dennis Dragon – brother of the famed Daryl Dragon (the “Captain” in the Captain and Tennille). Enjoy the video!

Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. One simple rule, leave ONLY the actual post link here. You can grab this code at LJL Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice.




PS: Because of spamming purposes, the linky will be closed on Thursday of each week at midnight, Malaysian Time. Thank you!

Cheap booze reviews? Seriously? Seriously!

For some reason, I’ve run across a couple of sites lately that do nothing but review the cheapest, nastiest wine and malt liquor on the planet.

While other “booze review” sites tend to portray a sophisticated image, BumWine.com and 40ozMaltLiquor.com go in the opposite direction. Those sites, of course, stick with the nastiest hooch they can find and gleefully review it.

Let’s take a look first a BumWine. If you haven’t hit the link to head over there yet, you really should – the banner alone is worth the price of admission. Rarely has a take-off on the illustration representing the evolution of man been such a hoot.

The entire site is knee-slapping funny, in fact, as the folks at BumWine review some of the worst wines imaginable. Yes, Night Train, Cisco, Thunderbird, MD “Mad Dog” 2020 and Thunderbird are all given the “this stuff is cheap and nasty, but we love it” treatment and the reviews and features will provide a heck of a lot of entertainment.

I’ve got a great Night Train story, by the way. When I was in college, I drove to the liquor store with a couple of friends of mine. One of them bought two huge bottle of Night Train and he chugged one in the back seat of my Subaru before we got back to campus.

“Hey, shut the hell up!” I demanded.

“Take it easy on him, man,” my sober friend in the front seat said. “This is his first train ride.”

The other site – 40ozMaltLiquor.com – sticks with reviewing cheap  wine’s raunchy sibling. The reviews over there are a heck of a lot of fun, too, and I particularly appreciate the occasional videos in which one of the site owners knocks back a bottle of malt liquor and describes the experience in great detail.

Again, I’ve got another great story about malt liquor from my college days. See, we adored Olde English 800 (and cheap wine, for that matter) as we did like to drink a little bit. Back then, you could get a 40-ounce bottle of 8-ball for around $1.25. If you drank one of those, you were feeling OK. If you drank two, you forgot where you were, who you were and how to walk. That’s a lot of damage done for $2.50.

I’m mentioning all of this for a couple of reasons. First of all, I just think those two sites are a hoot. Second, they do remind me of my drinking days back in college.

When I think back to those, I recall the time I went with some friends to an off-campus party. One of those fellows decided he was going to keep up with how much he drank, so he brought along a pen and decided to make a mark on his arm for every beer he drank.

At the first of the evening, the lines were neat and vertical. As the night wore on, those lines got larger, more horizontal and downright impossible to count.

I am certain that we couldn’t abuse ourselves to that extent and get away with it these days – we’re just too damned old. Still, nostalgia is a good thing.

Tell Me Thursday – Michael’s broken arm

Welcome to the “The Hawg is a moron” edition of Tell Me Thursday!

Why is The Hawg so dumb? Because I lost track of the days somehow and put up my Wordless Wednesday post on Thursday and am now writing my Tell Me Thursday post on a Friday.

Works been, well, slightly hellish as of late and I lost track of the days somewhere in all of that. Perhaps just a nice, relaxing weekend will help set things right. I’m also using my fall-back excuse – I turned 40-years-old this year and I’m inclined to forget things as a result (that’s the only thing I like about turning 40 – I can whip out the “old, tired man” thing from time to time).

At any rate, the lad in the picture I posted above (and in my Wordless Wednesday post) is my 12-year-old son, Michael. The poor fellow broke his arm at school while (apparently) goofing off. He’ll have to stay in that cast until sometime in October and the thing itches like crazy every now and again. I feel bad for the boy.

Still, he has learned some valuable lessons from all of this. For example, casts are really hard and can do some damage when you hit people with them. Also, just because you’re sporting a cast does not necessarily mean you’ve gotten out of mowing the lawn (hey, I’m not going to do it – that’s one of the things I love about having a son who can mow it for me).

Michael’s been a trooper throughout his broken arm ordeal and will, hopefully, heal up just fine so he can get rid of that cast next month.

As for me, something I learned years ago has been reinforced – when it comes to kids, you just never know what those little rascals are going to do.

This post is part of the famed Tell Me Thursday event. If you participate in Wordless Wednesday, then you should certainly consider taking part in Tell Me Thursday so you can tell the story behind that Wednesday post. Head on over to the Tell Me Thursday site for more details.

Wordless Wednesday – poor Michael!

This entry is part of the famed Wordless Wednesday event. Click here to see the other entries or (better yet) submit something of your own.

The sewer rat!

As I’ve probably mentioned on here before, my dad was a middle school assistant principal for years.

He’s retired now so that whole experience seems – to him – to be a lot funnier than it was when he was grinding through it. Dad has a lot of stories to tell – everything from almost being hit in the head with a pickle when walking out of his office one day to a troublemaking kid saying his biggest ambition in life was to go on welfare and have folks like my father pay for it all. Education be damned, right? What a little punk.

At any rate, one of my dad’s favorite stories involves a kid who ran off from school one day. I’ll call the kid Jerry because I can’t recall the boy’s real name. Besides, he died doing something stupid years ago (apparently) so I don’t see that it matters all that much.

Young Jerry, see, decided to wander around town instead of going to school on this particular day. While he was at it, the kid broke into a house that was near the school, stole a dog and took to the sewers.

Dad became aware of all this when the cops showed up investigating the break-in. For whatever reason, young Jerry was running through the sewers near the school and was quickly discovered by the cops due to the barking, stolen dog that was with him.

None of the adults could get down in the sewer, seemingly, without calling in someone from the city to pull a manhole cover off somewhere – I rather doubt anyone regarded that move as anything but a last resort. You can see their point, right? Who wants to run around through a sewer after a troubled kid and a stolen dog?So the police decided to track Jerry’s progress and yell at him when they could.

Dad said he managed to strike up a conversation with Jerry as the kid and the dog were running through the sewers.

“Jerry, get out of there!” dad demanded.

“Oh, no,” the kid replied (I imagine that dog was barking, too). “I’m never coming out.”

Jerry did eventually surface, the dog was returned to its owner and the police likely filed something somewhere with the juvenile court in an attempt to convince Jerry to see the error of his ways. Everything was fine, right?

No. No. Of course not.

A few days after Jerry was running through the sewers, his mother showed up in my dad’s office and was outraged.

“The kids keep calling Jerry ‘The Sewer Rat’,” she fumed. “You’ve got to do something about it!”

“Ma’am, I hate to tell you this, but your son is probably stuck with that name through high school,” dad replied.

Great stuff. Sewer rat. Heh.

Happy ‘Anomaly’ day!

After a mere 20 years, Ace Frehley has finally released a new album.

That’s right – Anomaly is now in the stores. Actually, it’s a pretty good album – my expectations were too high after so long a wait, but that little album I initially viewed as fair-to-middling has turned out to be pretty good. It seems that the former lead guitarist for KISS still has a few tricks up his sleeve.

To find out more information about the new disc, watch the “electronic press kit” above or head on over to Ace’s site – AceFrehley.com.

By the way, I’ve had the urge to pick up a guitar with humbucking pickups in it since I started fooling around with recording tracks on my computer. I love my Fender Deluxe Stratocaster, but those single coils just can’t crank out the “chunka, chunka, chunka” distortion I’d like to get from time to time.

Like any red-blooded American boy who was raised on the likes of KISS, I’ve always wanted a Gibson Les Paul.Sadly, those are quite expensive and I can’t see running out and buying one until I can at least learn how to play worth a damn. Furthermore, I’ve always loved the Ace Frehley signature series Les Pauls, but those are even more expensive than the typical ones (I believe one of those went for $3,500 the last time I checked).

I ran across a Chinese company, however, called Zxcmusic that makes an Ace Frehley model Les Paul that looks pretty darn great. You can find out the details about that particular guitar by clicking here.

The thing costs a mere $219 plus $100 for shipping. That’s one of those “too good to be true” prices and I suspect that’s exactly the case. Still, I’ve read a couple of good things on the Internet about that company.

If anyone has had any experience with the stuff Zxcmusic produces, I’d love to hear from you.

Meanwhile, rush out and buy that new Ace Frehley album. Any old time KISS fan will love it.

Music Monday – 'Clint Eastwood' by the Gorillaz!

Gorillaz - Clint Eastwood - Watch more Music Videos at Vodpod.

Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. One simple rule, leave ONLY the actual post link here. You can grab this code at LJL Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice.




PS: Because of spamming purposes, the linky will be closed on Thursday of each week at midnight, Malaysian Time. Thank you!

Apparently, people are still willing to buy compact discs

Since the days when Napster and those “music-stealers” that used it were in the news, we’ve heard about the forthcoming demise of compact discs.

Compact discs appear to have some life left in them yet. Just last week, all of the Beatles studio recordings were released in both mono and stereo formats and the things have sold like crazy.

That’s really no surprise. The Beatles are – after all – the greatest rock band of all time (in my opinion, at least, and I’m not alone) and the band’s catalogue was completely remastered. People have demanded such a remastering job for years and they’ve finally gotten it – it’s no shock these two boxed sets have sold so well.

Ah, but there’s something about these collections that also points out why so many people love stealing music through torrents or anywhere else they can find it. Here’s the deal – the stereo box set costs $260 and the mono boxed set costs $299. Wow.

Hey, the remasters sound great and you do get a lot of albums in those sets (the original British studio albums plus volumes 1 and 2 of the Past Masters series in the stereo set, a little bit less in the mono edition) and the remasters do sound great. But the price seems a bit steep.

That’s particularly true for those of us who bought all the CD remasters that came out in 1987, and more expensive still to those of us who bought albums and tapes before the catalogue was put on CD. Tommy Lee Jones in Men In Black referenced “having to buy the White Album – again” and I know exactly how he felt.

I’ll probably wind up buying the stereo remasters, but one has to wonder – how many times do we have to pay for the same songs over and over again? Those music pirates may have a point.

…and you thought we were just messing around

Well, well, well, well and well.

It seems that the woman who teaches my son’s advanced English class has decided that it would be a good exercise for her students to start their own blogs. My boy is in the seventh grade now and I can’t help but think his teacher has a great idea.

Yes, indeed. She views blogging as a great writing exercise and figures there’s some great networking potential there, too. It seems teacher is going to monitor the kids’ blogs so as to check up on their progress and will host a few events through Mr. Linky so the kids can participate in a few things.

I couldn’t be happier. I feel almost vindicated – like all that time I spent typing away on this here blog may be viewed as useful in some quarters.

Besides, I’ve learned enough by now (I hope) to help my son put together a blog that will kick ass. Other students will have those homemade banners and such, of course, but phooey on that. I work with a graphic designer (you can see his handiwork on my banner that he slapped together in about five minutes or take a look at the blog template he designed for our company by clicking here).

I haven’t pestered Dave the Designer about helping me out with my blog template (obviously), but I’d bet he’d be willing to help The Boy design something that will put whatever the other kids come up with to shame.

Furthermore, I can help my kid get some traffic by participating in fun-filled events such as Music Monday, Wordless Wednesday and Tell Me Thursday.

Yes, the lad will simply rule the blogosphere at his school. Hey, I sucked at making those wooden race cars in Cub Scouts and have been a failure at most mechanical projects I’ve tried. However, I can teach that kid a thing or two about blogging.

Before long, the lad will be posting drivel and annoying people just like his old man. That’s a beautiful thing…

My plan to help my girl sell cookies was rejected!

For my Wordless Wednesday post yesterday, I put up a photo of a cute little girl who had – apparently – just set fire to a house full of people who refused to place an order for Girl Scouts cookies with her.

There was a point to all of that. Well, there was sort of a point to that, at least.

I’ve got an eight-year-old girl who sells cookies for her Girl Scouts troop every year. The competition is fierce, folks. She generally manages to sell around 300 boxes or so, but that amount pales in comparison to sales totals from some of the other girls.

My daughter holds her own and generates a lot of money for her troop, but there’s always room for improvement. So I came up with a plan. I figured on having young Brenda go from door to door with a sales pitch that people simply can’t resist.

“My daddy says if I don’t sell a lot of cookies this year, I won’t get a Christmas,” she would say through her quivering lips.

My wife rejected my plan immediately. She figures the neighbors will think I’m horrible. She might be right.

However, my daughter would sell the heck out of some cookies, huh?

This entry is part of the soon-to-be-famous Tell Me Thursday event. If you participate in Wordless Wednesday, why not come back the next day and tell us the story behind your entry. It’s dandy fun. Head on over to the Tell Me Thursday site for details!

“I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!”

Yeah, it’s a cheesy title – I know.

Ah, but there’s a point here. Back in the 1980s, there were these commercials featuring a woman who fell and was saved because she pushed a button and alerted someone.

What if that woman would have fallen and – for whatever reason – couldn’t have pushed a button and summoned help? That’s where Brickhouse Alert comes in. Sure, their customers get a Life Alert system which features a button that can be pressed to summon help.

In addition to that Life Alert “big button” system with which were are all familiar, Brickhouse also offers fall detection. If a client falls and can’t push a button, the fall detection system alerts Brickhouse and help is sent.

Want more? They’ve got it. How about a monitored smoke detector, medication reminders, inactivity detector and other hand services? They’ve got it and some other stuff, too.

Now, there’s a very useful application for the latest technology, huh? Check it out.

The Pirates set a record!

In case no one noticed, the Pittsburgh Pirates now have the longest consecutive losing streak of any team in the MLB, NBA, NFL or NHL.

On Monday, the Pirates earned their 82nd loss of the season in a game against the Cubs. With that loss, the Bucs clinched a dubious honor -- 17 consecutive losing seasons.

They came into the season tied with the Philadelphia Phillies -- a team that managed to lose 16 consecutive seasons from 1933-1949. Pittsburgh hasn't had a winning season since 1992 and seems doomed to consistent failure in the foreseeable future.

How bad is Pittsburgh? Read all about it right here. That article sums it all up better than I ever could. Besides, I'm too tired to give a damn. I've rooted for the Pirates for years and I'm about sick of caring how the team does.

In fact, the rotten Pirates are one of the reasons I don't follow baseball liked I did once upon a time. In fact, the last time I watched a full Pirates game was a few years ago. After hurling a few empty beer cans at the screen and cursing the team for being so clueless and awful, I pretty much quit watching Pittsburgh and haven't paid much attention to baseball since.

I've just about concluded that the way to get a team to turn rotten is to convince me to room for it. I've pulled for the Pirates since about 1977 and look what's happened to them. Around that same time I started rooting for the Denver Broncos and they've been getting worse since John Elway retired a decade ago.

Oh, don't get me started on Denver. They fired Mike Shanahan and alienated quarterback Jay Cutler until he made up his mind to leave. Shanahan was replaced by a punk, nothing kid of a coach named Josh McDaniels and Cutler was traded to Chicago for Kyle Orton -- a loser who is so anonymous that Denver might have been better off pulling a fan out of the stands and making him quarterback.

Denver will suck this year. Count on it. In fact, I'd be stunned if the Broncos did anything but stink up the field over the next few seasons.

As for Basketball, I followed the Bulls quite a bit. The Bulls, of course, ran off Phil Jackson, Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen and haven't done much since then. Even my beloved Arkansas Razorbacks -- once a force to be reckoned with in the 1960s through the 1980s -- have been reduced to a fair-to-middling team since joining the SEC.

Hell, even my beloved Benton Panthers are terrible at football these days.

My wife isn't a huge sports fan. I'm starting to think she's got a point.

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday

This post is part of the famed Wordless Wednesday event. Hit that dandy link to see some other entries or (better yet) add something of your own.

Funniest thing I’ve seen in at least a week

Take a good look at that photo over to the left that was taken by a radar camera in Arizona.

That’s right – that’s a fellow driving a Subaru and wearing a monkey mask. Why? According to this story, the man is Dave VonTesmar and he has racked up 37 tickets in Arizona as cameras have caught him speeding and engaging in various traffic-related shenanigans.

Apparently, he’s been trying to avoid detection by putting on a mask while breaking the law (that ploy hasn’t worked as the police have, obviously, identified him). VonTesmar enjoys variety, seemingly, as he’ll put on a giraffe or gazelle mask from time to time.

Of course, the authorities in Arizona have dubbed him an outlaw and he has somehow evaded the law so far. Some people call him a menace. However, all I can say is, “Go, monkey man. Go!”

Truly, few things could be funnier than frustrated the police by driving around and breaking traffic laws while wearing a mask. They’ve got a few cameras in Pulaski County (home of our state capitol) but none in my beloved town of Benton. I doubt I’d have the guts to do it, but I’d love to drive around with a Bill Clinton mask on and annoy traffic police here in Arkansas.

So, my hat’s off to VonTesmar for having the stones to actually pull such a thing. He’ll be brought to justice eventually, of course, but couldn’t you imagine the judge and prosecutor trying to keep a straight face in that case?

Music Monday – new Ace Frehley!

Yes, the Ace Frehley album, Anomaly, comes out on Sept. 15. You know you’re excited, kids, so here’s a song off the album to tide you over.

Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. One simple rule, leave ONLY the actual post link here. You can grab this code at LJL Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice.




PS: Because of spamming purposes, the linky will be closed on Thursday of each week at midnight, Malaysian Time. Thank you!

Having too much fun with that Guitar Link…

A few days ago, I wrote all about the joy that is the Behringer Guitar Link.

I’m having more fun than should be allowed with that thing as I’ve been learning how to use it. All you need to use it is a free USB port on your computer and an ASIO compatible soundcard (for best results).

You can hear my pitiful rendition of Moon Over Marin by the Dead Kennedys by scrolling to the end of this post and streaming it.

The best thing about this guitar link is that I paid about $40 and have been finding plenty of free software to model amps and mix tracks on the Internet (I mentioned a lot of that in the post I just referenced). Yes, you can spend a lot of cash using commercial products set up for recording, but how many of us are professionals? My guitar playing stinks and I’m just having fun – the free stuff is more than good enough for me.

For the record, I recorded my guitar and bass parts on the aforementioned song through Kristal Audio Engine. The lead and rhythm guitar parts were recorded through the D.I.G. 2.0 amp modeler from AcmeBarGig VST plug-in and I ran my bass through  FreeAmp3 from Fretted Synth. The mixdown in Kristal was in that weird Ogg Vorbis format so I converted the song to MP3 through Audacity.

While it’s obvious I need a better sound card and learning how to play worth a damn would be nice, I was able to lay down some tracks that sound good enough for me through a bunch of absolutely free programs. That’s great stuff.

Now all I need to do is finish my country song that’s sure to be a big hit one day -- “I’m Wearing a Hawaiian Shirt (But there’s no Luau in my Heart).” Go ahead and laugh but that song will be huge one day. Yes, there will come a day when my song will establish a fad – a bunch of people will be wearing Hawaiian shirts and acting sad. Count on it.

Here’s my awful attempt at covering a Dead Kennedys song. Enjoy!

7-5 for the Hogs this year…

Yes, football season is upon us once again and we Arkansans are hoping our beloved Razorbacks do something this year.

My dad tells me that he was in a restaurant last year when the Hogs were in the midst of their 5-7 season and two fellow (who had obviously been drinking a lot) boldly predicted the Razorbacks wouldn’t lose a game this season.

Most of us haven’t lost our heads and are hoping for the team to have a decent season. And we’ve got some reasons to be excited. First and foremost, there’s Ryan Mallett – the Batesville, Ark., native who went to Michigan and then came back home to Arkansas. He was a heavily recruited quarterback in 2006 and we’re hoping the fellow follows through on his promise this season at Arkansas.

Hey, we’re not used to having top-notch quarterbacks at the University of Arkansas, so seeing one on the field will be a bit of a novelty for us. Our former head coach, that damned Houston Nutt, didn’t go out of his way to recruit quarterbacks and managed to ruin some good ones when they fell in his lap. Let’s see what Arkansas Coach Bobby Petrino can do with a talented passer, huh?

Let’s not forget that Michael Smith – the running back who was one of the few highlights on the offense last year – will be back this season. He’ll be joined by Dennis Johnson in the backfield and here’s hoping the running game will be solid.

Yes, Michael Smith was pretty much the running game last year and the offense was just plain dreadful. It appears that the passing game will be solid, too, provided Mallett can find some targets. Last year, those quarterbacking brothers Casey and Nathan Dick had trouble finding receivers. We’re not sure if the receivers were just terrible or if the Dick brothers were just lousy quarterbacks.

The receivers are improved this year and perhaps the most impressive of all is tight end D.J. Williams. Of course, the question remains – will the offensive line hold up long enough to protect Mallett so he can throw to a receiver or two? That was a problem last year as that offensive line folded faster than Superman on laundry day. Here’s hoping Petrino has beaten the line into shape.

The defense was terribly weak last year, but I always wondered – was it really just bad or were the players worn out because the pitiful offense never gave them a chance to rest? Again, that’s a question that will have to be answered throughout the season.

Having said all of that, here are my predictions for the season. These, I’m sure, will hold up pretty well.

Sept. 5 – Missouri State. Arkansas will whip the socks off of Missouri State. That’s why teams like Missouri State are on the schedule. That one will be an easy win.

Sept. 19 – Georgia. It’s rarely good when Georgia comes to town. They dominated the Hogs during the Nutt years and there’s no reason to think that will change this season. There’s a loss.

Sept. 26 – at Alabama. It’s no fluke that Alabama is ranked #5 in the preseason polls. Playing Alabama this season will be bad enough for almost anyone and you can double the misery when a team faces the Crimson Tide at home. There’s a loss.

Oct. 3 – at Texas A&M. Ah, the Aggies are rebuilding, too. Still, considering the weak showing by the Hogs last year in almost every game, I’ll have to call that one a loss.

Oct. 10 – Auburn. Yes, another team that’s rebuilding. Fortunately, they’re coming to Arkansas. Home field advantage will be a big factor here. And, we’ll have a win.

Oct. 17 – at Florida. Arkansas beat Florida once upon a time. Honest! The losing streak will continue this season against the preseason No. 1. That’s a loss.

Oct. 24 – at Ole Miss. Yes, the Rebels are ranked No. 8 in the country right now. However, that ranking doesn’t take the team’s biggest liability into account – head coach Houston “Boxcar” Nut. Nutt frustrated Arkansas fans for years while he goofed off in this state and he’ll annoy Ole Miss fans before long. There’s a win for the Hogs because that’s the kind of game that Nutt has fumbled with inept coaching for years. By the way, I chose the “Boxcar” nickname for Nutt around 2002 because the man is a straight up bum.

Oct. 31 – Eastern Michigan. Another rent-a-win.

Nov. 7 – South Carolina. Poor old South Carolina. That team never can get it together. The Hogs will win this one.

Nov. 14 – Troy. The third – and final – rent-a-win of the year.

Nov. 21 – Mississippi State. Remember when Mississippi State fielded great teams? I can’t recall when exactly that was, either. There’s nothing impressive about them this year, so the Hogs will win that one.

Nov. 29 – at LSU. The preseason No. 11 will clobber the Hogs unless half the team comes down with swine flu. There’s a loss for the Razorbacks.

So, we’re looking at a 7-5 season with three wins against nonconference opponents, meaning the Razorbacks should rack up a 4-5 SEC record this year. Ugly but true. Bank on it. Hey, they’ll get better.