Lately, I've been getting a lot of emails at work featuring pictures of animals who are, allegedly, saying cutesy things in some strange, baby talk language.
The photo I've posted here is fairly typical of the kinds of things I've been receiving.
Whenever I've gotten one of these things, I've thought, "Well, there's a person who doesn't know a thing about The Hawg. Those who know me well understand that few things annoy me more than proof that the English language is being dragged through the dirt."
Yesterday, however, my own wife sent me one of these photos. There's someone who understands me very well (the poor woman!), so what gives? I can only conclude that these photos were born of some kind of strange obsession with both animals and schmaltzy cuteness.
So I've joined the craze. I've created some of my own cute animal photos. I hope you all enjoy them.
Someone sent this to me at work today and I just had to share it.
Yes, this little photo might make one laugh so hard he'll break all his furniture. It'll make you LOL, ROFL, ROFLYAO and all those other irritating abbreviations for which the Internet can be blamed.
Frankly, I wish I had some more information about this photo. Why? Assuming someone put a home on the market and actually used such a sign to attract attention to it, there's no way in hell anyone would buy it.
Furthermore, it's safe to assume the individual who would put up such a sign knows damn well that the home will never sell.
That being the case, what would motivate one to put up such a sign? Let's say that Bob is the one who made the sign and put it up in his yard while Joe is the asshole neighbor.
Bob wakes up one morning, looks over at his neighbors house in disgust and notices that Joe has listed his home with a Realtor. If Bob wants to spite the hell out of Joe, can you think of a better way to steer potential buyers away from the property than to put up such a sign?
After all, who wants to buy a house from an asshole? Who wants to buy a home next to a guy crazy enough to stick such a tacky sign in his yard? Bob can have hours of fun ruining Joe's chances of selling his home and -- get this -- all it costs is the price of having a sign made.
Hey, anyone can stick a "for sale" sign in front of his house, right? And here's the best part -- what if Bob gets a great offer on his home, sells it for a profit and moves away from the hated neighbor? Hell, that would just be a bonus.
I do hope that spite was the motivation behind that sign. If so, that just makes it that much funnier.
Again, I do wish I had more information. Oh, well. Musing is fun, too.
At the first of January, my organization moved into a new office.
In some quarters, of course, "progress" is synonymous with replacing large, private offices with cubicles. My cubicle is all drab and corporate, of course, so the time came to spiff it up a bit.
Now, what says "I'm stylin' like Stalin and on the go, go, go!" more than a dandy Iron Maiden poster? So I got the one pictured here and stuck it up in my formerly dull area today.
Now, you'll notice this isn't just any old Iron Maiden poster. No, it's the illustration Maiden used for "The Trooper" single, featuring the iconic Eddie kicking serious ass.
Ah, but this particular poster does more than just drip with awesomeness. No, this poster is a tribute to great literature, folks.
Why? "The Trooper" is based, in part, on Alfred, Lord Tennyson's poem, "The Charge of the Light Brigade." That poem, of course, dramatically recounts the exploits of a brigade of British light dragoons who boldly charged a Russian position during the Battle of Balaclava during the Crimean War.
Ah, the symbolism of it all is just fantastic! Besides, one of the hands reaching up for mercy (and receiving absolutely none from the heroic, doomed Eddie) just puts that icing on the cake, doesn't it? Now, I could have chosen the "safe" route and put up one of those posters that reads "Hang in there, baby. Friday's coming!" and has a kitten dangling from a limb. I could have also put up one of those things with a snappy slogan like "You don't have to be crazy to work here, but it helps!"
Those, however, just wouldn't be as outright cool as the Iron Maiden poster I chose. Besides, I do believe I've scored a few points for thriftiness and efficiency with my beautiful poster. The aforementioned organization I work for is fixing to spend thousands of dollars decorating its new building, whereas I picked up my poster for $10 on eBay and improved the entire environment of my little slice of heaven. How's that for leading by example?
For those unfamiliar with the majesty that is "The Trooper," I've included a YouTube video here. That is followed by a fellow who put together an arrangement of the song on a harp. How's that for culture?
Yes, it seems that reading all of those books in law school had caused some problems. For some reason, a lot of legal texts are printed in the smallest font available. Those books will cause eyestrain when they're new and get worse with age.
The law library at the University of Arkansas is filled with old books printed in small type that will just ruin the eyes. So I wound up with some trouble in my right eye before I graduated from law school and wore glasses for a couple of years after that.
For some reason, my stellar vision returned a few years later and I got rid of the glasses. But I've always been curious about something -- why did I have eyeglasses when I only had trouble with one eye? Why did I have one lens that corrected my vision and one that did almost nothing? Wouldn't it have made more sense to just give me a monocle?
If I every have the "one bad eye" problem again, I'm going to insist on a monocle and I'm not sure why more people don't wear them. My only guess is that monocles are associated with Nazis, cartoon owls and Mr. Peanut.
Folks, it's time for those vicious stereotypes to fall. I don't give a hoot for them and neither should you. It's time for the monocle to make a resurgence and this is the perfect day and age for that to happen.
Why? Think about it. Everyone is all earth happy these days. "Let's save the earth," they say. "We shouldn't throw junk all over it and pollute it. We need to conserve earth's resources and blah, blah, blah."
For the tree huggers, then, the monocle is the perfect thing to adopt. Why? You use fewer resources that way as you only have one lens instead of two. You've got less metal to worry about, too. That makes, sense, huh?
Besides, monocles are fun. Just imagine this. Let's say I'm wearing a monocle and you come in and tell me something shocking. My eyes go wide in surprise so the monocle pops out and dangles from the little cordy thing that keeps it from hitting the ground. Ah, now that's comedy!
A monocle is the sign of a dapper, well-dressed man, too. Who wouldn't want to be dapper? A monocle is at last as dapper as a pocket watch and even as slick as a pipe.
Hey, here's how I could look extra dapper -- put on a monocle, a tweed jacket and pipe and a vest and pocket watch. Tie all that together with a pair of black and white saddle shoes (red soles, of course) and I'd out dapper everyone in the state. Hell yes!
So, I'll get a monocle if one eye goes bad. Let's say, however, that one eye goes really bad because it gets plucked out by a hawk or something. In that case, I'd get an eye patch and I wouldn't feel bad about it.
There's something to be said for a man who doesn't feel bad about going around looking like a pirate, right? I could refer to everyone as "matey" and listen to sea shanties all day.
So if an eye goes bad or I lose one, I'm covered either way. My brother is an optometrist, so perhaps I'll put him to work on that monocle thing. The day the music died
Tomorrow, Feb. 3, marks the 50th anniversary of Buddy Holly's death. As everyone ought to know, Holly went down in a small airplane on Feb. 3, 1959 at the young age of 22. In my opinion, popular music has never recovered from that loss. Holly was one of the rockabilly greats and truly pushed the limits of what could be expressed through rock and roll.
The Beatles worshiped the man, he was part of a generation of entertainers who became popular by writing, playing and singing his own songs and he proved that even someone who was awkward and wore ugly glasses could make the ladies swoon. Hell, one of the reasons the Fender Telecaster is still a popular guitar is that Holly practically made that thing a cultural icon.
How great was Holly? Check out this demo (one of the last things the man recorded) and see for yourself. That's just him sitting in his apartment with a guitar and some recording equipment.
It's official -- the Pittsburgh Steelers became the first team to win six Super Bowls by beating the Arizona Cardinals in what will go down as one of the great NFL championship games.
I'm a Denver Broncos fan and I was rooting for the Cardinals, but it's really hard to not be happy for the Steelers. That is, without a doubt, one of the finest and hardest-working franchises in the NFL and a team that has earned the respect of football fans everywhere.
Having said all of that, I've come to the conclusion that I root for the wrong team from Pittsburgh. yes, I have the great misfortune of being a Pirates fan and I'm still not sure why I expect the team to do anything but stink and upset me.
It's the same thing every year. I start out following the Pirates closely and then start watching the St. Louis Cardinals in late April or May when the Bucs are mathematically eliminated from the World Series.
How bad are the Pirates? The team hasn't had a winning season since 1992 and hasn't won a World Series since 1979. Rooting for a team like Pittsburgh will cause one to look at fans of the lowly Chicago Cubs and mumble, "Lucky bastards."
Cubs fans, see, have hope and pull for a team that actually manages to post a winning season from time to time. The Pirates, on the other hand, are the Detroit Lions of the MLB.
So, after watching the Steelers tear through the AFC once again, set an NFL record for winning six Super Bowls and generally being the envy of football fans everywhere, I've got to ask one question -- what the hell is going on with the Pirates?
I've heard about enough of that "small market team" nonsense and I'm almost sick of hearing about salary caps. Hey, I'd love to see a salary cap in baseball as I do believe it will lead to more competition -- it's certainly worked out that way in the NFL.
Still, let's take a look at the Tampa Bay Devil Rays, a scrubby team that can afford to pay their starters a case of Pabst Blue Ribbon and a 1973 Ford Pinto. That's a team that went to the World Series last year in spite of being underfunded and stuck in a small market.
One can only conclude the Tampa Bay management has at least a casual interest in winning, whereas the same can't be said of Pittsburgh. Here's how things go with the Pirates. Let's say Pittsburgh has a great player. The team will trade said great player for, perhaps, three prospects.
Out of those three prospects, let's say that one turns out to be a great player. That one will be traded for more prospects whereas the other two will become franchise players. The Pirates, see, just seem to slit their own throats every year and it's maddening. It's hard to build a solid franchise when you're constantly dealing your talented players away for prospects that will get dealt if they turn out well. I've been watching that perpetual cycle for the past few years and I'm sick of it.
I hope this is the year that the Pirates will learn a lesson or two from their cousins across town and even the Devil Rays. We Pirates fans are just about out of patience.
Some of you folks may know about this already, but I thought it was too dandy not to mention.
I was at Ace Frehley's official Web site last night as I want to know when his new album, Anomaly, will be released. I couldn't find out much about the new album other than what the cover art looks like, but I did find something incredible -- Ace Frehley wants to go to outer space.
Yes, according to the Ace to Space site, the legendary Frehley is making plans to go to space, write about the experience, and even record some stuff. Folks, I'm all for it. I grew up listening to KISS and Ace was always my favorite. Frankly, the band just hasn't been the same without him as who the hell could every replace Ace's "meat and potatoes" guitar licks, laid-back cool and innate sense of what fans want to hear? Just listen to the band's 1980s output and it's pretty obvious that KISS just isn't as much fun without Ace and his magical Gibson Les Paul.
Besides, Ace's shtick was that he was a friendly, visiting alien sent to earth to extend greetings from his home planet and develop a rapport with earth by rocking out on songs like "Parasite," "Dr. Love," "Shock Me" and the unparalleled "Rocket Ride." It only makes sense to actually send the man to space and let his fans revel in his zero-gravity hijinks, doesn't it?
How cool was Rocket Ride? Here's a clip:
So, I'm officially on the "Ace to Space" bandwagon. Get on there yourself. Rarely do you see efforts that combine this much hilarity and awesomeness in equal measure.
Over the past year, my nephew has had a lot of decisions to make.
Jeffrey is a high school senior and was considering heading to the U.S. Naval Academy in Annapolis, after graduation, going to the U.S. Military Academy at West Point or maybe just joining the Marines.
He's off to West Point and members of my wife's family -- the majority of whom are military veterans -- couldn't be prouder. Truth be told, I'm proud of young Jeffrey, too.
Of course, there's not much of a military history to speak of in my family. My dad was in the Navy in the 1960s while my uncle was a Marine in Vietnam. Prior to my dad's generation, members of my family didn't much care for joining the military.
An ancestor fought for the Confederacy during the War Between the States, see, so joining the military was viewed as essentially enlisting to fight for a foreign, occupying power. True story and not surprising considering all the hard feelings in these parts as a result of the Reconstruction.
At any rate. my nephew's decision to use his considerable talents to serve his country is nothing short of commendable. One thing that I thought was particularly dandy is that, last night, Jeffrey got a call from Congressman John Boozman, a Republican from Arkansas' 3rd District.
Boozman called to congratulate Jeffrey on his acceptance to West Point. My nephew applied to West Point through Boozman's office and then go through a highly selective process before he was invited to attend the academy. The fact he made it through all of that says quite a bit about him, doesn't it?
So, congratulations to Jeffrey. I'm sure he'll do well.
Yes, that faithful 2000 Saturn that has served us well since we drove it off the lot with 27 miles on it is looking a bit ragged these days. The old gal has 135,000 miles on her and she's starting to show her age.
We were out car shopping a couple of weeks ago when we saw one of those mom and pop lots on the side of the road. So we stopped, looked around a bit and saw a 2007 Chrysler Pacifica.
The mileage was low on the car and the asking price was so small that they might as well have been giving the car away. Furthermore, the vehicle has everything my wife wants -- three rows of seats (so we can separate our two kids on trips), plenty of leather, decent gas mileage and an interior that's so clean that the thing looks new. The previous owner obviously liked a little luxury and got a staggering array of options when the car was originally purchased.
We test drove the car and the thing felt solid as a rock, was comfortable and hugged the road impressively. I have a preference for foreign cars as I drive a Toyota and love the thing. Also, I've never had an American car that made it past around 140,000 miles, but that's not true of a couple of Japanese cars I've owned. Regardless, the Pacifica had everything my wife wanted so I thought we might have found the ideal car for her.
"What do you think," I asked.
"I like it."
"Want to get it?"
"I don't think so."
"Why not?"
"It's American."
My wife is probably going to wind up with a Toyota Highlander or some form of Honda, although we may pay more for the car we eventually decide to buy.
See a problem here? The Pacifica looks great, drives great and suits my wife's needs perfectly. The thing is priced to sell, too, but we're staying away from it due to our experience with American cars. We don't trust them to hold up to normal use and worry about whether Chrysler, GM and Ford will even be around in a few years to service their vehicles.
There's a general perception out there that American vehicles are garbage and that perception, sadly, has been well earned. Oh, the government can throw away billions of dollars on bailing out the American auto industry, but the feds can't do a thing about what consumers want to buy and drive without engaging in some form of severe protectionism (it wouldn't surprise me if the government did just that -- they killed the Volkswagen Beetle in the U.S. that way, after all).
The only group that can change the public's perception of American vehicles is the U.S. auto industry. Sadly, that bunch doesn't seem to be doing much at all to restore our faith in the vehicles they manufacture.
After all, what have we seen that suggests the American auto manufacturers will engage in anything but their normal practices that pushed them close to bankruptcy? Nothing, except for some token things such as promises to get rid of some corporate jets and some noise about the Volt, an overpriced electric car that will hit the market in a couple of years.
It doesn't appear the industry is a bit serious about the radical changes that will have to be made if the public is to rally behind Chrysler, Ford and GM again.
By the way, that pristine Pacifica was still on that little used car lot -- apparently, other people are approaching American vehicles with caution these days, too. Who can blame us?
That's one of the reasons I love living in Arkansas. Winters are mild and I've seen one foot of snow on the ground maybe three times in my life.
Right now, however, we're dealing with threats of ice and snow across the Natural State and I hate it. An inch or more of ice has fallen in a lot of areas in the northern half of the state and it appears some of that junk may hit here in central Arkansas by morning.
That's a huge problem, of course, as a funny thing happens when you dump a lot of frozen participation on people who aren't used to it -- we Arkies can't drive on this garbage so car wrecks are common when there's any ice at all on the roads. Also, sleet and freezing rain tends to weigh down pine trees, thus causing branches to snap power lines. There's nothing worse than dealing with cold, miserable weather and sitting in a dark house for a few days.
Thank God we've got a fireplace here at CasadeHawg in case we lose power. There's a funny thing about our fireplace logs, however -- they're magic. I need to find some more of this wood and build a house with it because this stuff doesn't burn worth a damn. If a fire ravages my home, we'd lose everything but those blasted, flame resistant logs.
So I've spent the evening watching the weather, hoping that steady rain outside doesn't turn into sleet at some point, cussing fireplace logs and generally being cold and miserable. Even the central heating in my house is against me -- it's running just fine, but I can't shake that miserable chill I always get when it's too cold and too wet outside.
Frankly, I never understood people who enjoy this slop. I was in Iowa one December for a week and the high temperature during that time was 8 degrees. I'd make some comment about how cold it was and I learned Iowa residents love to brag about how cold it gets.
"This isn't cold," they'd say. "I'll tell you all about cold. Why, there was one winter when it was so cold that the dog froze to death and bloppity, bloppity, blah, blah, blah."
Phooey on that. I did admire something about those winter-loving Iowa folks, though. If a blizzard hit, they'd simply wake up, plow the streets and go about their business like nothing happened. Here in Arkansas, we shut down entire towns for a couple of days if a snowflake hits the ground and sticks.
I do hear people gripe about our hot, humid summers in Arkansas. Again, phooey. If you're too hot, quit being a sissy, put on a pair of shorts and have a glass of iced tea. You can deal with summer, see, but this winter stuff is for the birds. I'd much rather put on a pair of shorts and sweat a little bit then slide across my driveway, attack my windshield with one of those ice scrapers that never seem to work right and dodge maniacs who haven't figured out that a four-wheel-drive vehicle will slide into a ditch the same as any other car when you slam on the brakes.
Fortunately, ice and snow are unusual here as 40 and 50-degree days are common in the winter. Still, we've got a couple of months left to worry about Mother Nature being an absolute bitch and dumping a bunch of ice on us.
I absolutely cringe whenever the Arkansas Legislature goes in session because it generally means some laws are going to be passed that annoy me.
One of the most aggravating pieces of legislation to be discussed this time around is, yes, a new tax. It seems the state needs $88 million a year to improve health care in Arkansas ($27 million would fund a statewide trauma system, while the rest will be spent on God knows what). How does the state plan to raise that money? A bill has been introduced in the legislature that, if passed, will put a 56-cent tax on cigarettes.
Of course, it's popular to kick smokers around, but anyone who knows what's going on in this state ought to object to this thing for at least a couple of reasons.
For one thing, Arkansas is the home of the budget surplus. This session has about $250 million in surplus money to play with -- money that was collected but never allocated to anything. In the 2007 session, the legislature had close to $1 billion in surplus money to blow on various bits of nonsense.
I should point out that the legislature, historically, has met every two years. My fellow Arkansans, however, must be masochists as they voted in November to approve yearly legislative sessions. That's something we'll regret.
But, I digress. Here's my question -- if Arkansas is running budget surpluses that are in the 100s of millions of dollars, why on earth does the state need to collect a new tax? Why not use some of that surplus to cover a trauma center and pay for other programs that will keep us all healthy?
Yeah, I know -- smokers deserved to get taxed because of the health problems they inflict on themselves and blah, blah, blah. Here's the problem, however. If a government that's running sizable surpluses decides there's nothing wrong with raising taxes during a crippling recession for the sheer hell of it, the chances are good they'll crank up those taxes on something you do care about eventually.
Frankly, I get irritated when the state decides to raise taxes on just about anything. They're already taking too much of my money and ought to be talking about tax cuts rather than new taxes. I know a tax cut is out of the question because the government's not exactly known for giving something back after they take it, so I'll settle for the next best thing -- no new taxes on anything.
Then, there's that lottery to consider. Last year, my fellow Arkansans threw logic to the wind and voted for a statewide lottery to fund scholarships. Unless Arkansas is somehow vastly different from the rest of the nation, then the money that is being used for scholarships now will allocated to the general budget and replaced with lottery revenue (in some parts of the world, that's known as a shell game).
Last year, the state set aside $43.7 million for scholarships, so it's safe to assume that $43.7 million will be pulled out of education and shoved in the general budget after the lottery gets rolling in 2010. In other words, a state which routinely runs large budget surpluses has found a way to get its hands on another $43.7 million. Again, we've got plenty of money pouring into the state treasury and simply ought not allow those rascals to pass yet another "just for the hell of it" tax.
Want to build a trauma system? Looks like you've got $43.7 million dollars that will soon be freed up to spend on such things. Need to maintain that trauma system? Again, let's take a look at that $43.7 million. No one seems to give much thought about reallocating money that will certainly be free in a couple of years. The folks in Little Rock seem content to find some way to spend that for various things while hitting the public up for tax revenue. Who gives a damn about fairness, efficiency, responsibility or any of that other junk?
Perhaps the thing that irritates me the most about this new tax is that the bill in support of it was filed just a couple of days after a 3.85 percent pay raise the legislature voted for itself, constitutional officers and judges was passed and signed into law. We've heard a lot of talk about "tough times" and "recessions" coming out of Little Rock since the legislature went into session last week.
Apparently, sacrifices are necessary during these tough times unless you happen to be an elected official. Our politically savvy governor, Mike Beebe, wisely declined his raise. I doubt if anyone else who benefits from that law will exercise such restraint.
Way on back when I was a mere 13-years-old in 1982, I received a TRS-80 Color Computer (the famed CoCo) for Christmas.
That remains my favorite computer. Of course, it wasn't advanced by today's standards in that it came with a mere 16 kilobytes of RAM and hooked up to a television set (monitors were available, but most people just used their TVs). The Motorola 6809 CPU hummed along at a mere .89 megahertz, but a command could be typed in that would double that clock speed -- a trick that was used by a lot of game programmers. You got a 32-column screen, no lower case letters, primitive sound and a mere eight colors that could be displayed on the screen at any one time (some programmers got around that restriction, as I recall).
Programs were loaded from a cassette deck, but people wanting to get really advanced could shell out quite a bit for a disk drive. A lot of us relied on the cassette deck and fell back on "ROM packs" that plugged into the computer's cartridge slot for more advanced games.
I, like everyone else, subscribed to a couple of Color Computer magazines (Rainbow and The Color Computer Magazine were my favorites) and spent a lot of time typing in BASIC programs copied from those magazines and various books. I wrote a lot of basic programs on my own, too. One bit of trivia about those old Color Computer days is that the BASIC was from Microsoft.
That's right. Before Bill Gates took over the world, his company had a lucrative contract with Radio Shack to provide BASIC to the company's line of computers. Microsoft provided BASIC to a lot of other manufacturers, too.
I always have, by the way, admired the discipline programmers had back in the 8-bit era. They didn't have just a lot of memory to work with, so they were efficient out of necessity. A lot of games were in machine code because that ran much faster than anything else. Contrast that era to today when bloated software is typical because memory is no longer an issue and CPUs are fast enough that efficiency is no longer that important.
At any rate, I experienced the fun of putting in a 64 kilobyte RAM upgrade and soldering the jumpers necessary to make my CoCo recognize the expanded memory. I enjoyed that computer and still have fond memories of it, even if it was replaced a year later by an IBM-PC.
The point of all this is that I get sentimental every few years and decide to go the emulator route. I downloaded a copy of M.E.S.S., got the appropriate BIOS sets for it, found a few games here and there and ran an emulated Color Computer 1. I even wrote a very simple BASIC program for the heck of it and you can see the code and the result below: Unfortunately, using an emulator isn't the same as actually owning some TRS-80 hardware. I reach that conclusion every time I get an emulator so I can feel like I'm messing with a CoCo again, so I'm not sure why I even bother.
The problem, of course, is that the keyboard layout is different, the controllers are different and shuffling disc images around is often more trouble than it's worth. Perhaps I'll break down and buy some hardware again one day.
Some people love emulation, however, whereas some people swear by the original hardware. All fans interested in the old CoCo should visit the Tandy Color Computer Supersite, one of the finest resources on the Internet for that kind of thing.
Ah, great things are afoot here in scenic Benton, Ark.
Specifically, there are now three restaurants here in town that sell liquor. I grew up in this town and figured I'd never see such a thing as Saline County has remained dry thanks to years of a combined effort between primarily Baptists and liquor store owners up the road in Pulaski County.
It is not my intention to pick on Baptists. I'll mention more about that in a bit.
At any rate, I figured that we Saline County residents were simply stuck with having to head up to the Pulaski County line to buy alcohol. Thankfully, we can keep some of that money that was going to Little Rock here in Saline County and I'd guess that more restaurants will open here now that they can offer liquor sales and boost those profits.
A couple of years ago, a little restaurant called Dizzy's Grill in Benton got a liquor license and the place has been packed ever since. A few month's ago, Applebee's followed suit and La Hacienda followed suit just this week.
My wife, daughter and I went to La Hacienda tonight and noticed the place was full of people. La Hacienda is one of those locally-owned Mexican restaurants that makes great food and has won an award or two in recognition of the fine cuisine there. The only problem with the place is that business has always been slow.
That wasn't the case tonight, however. There was a crowd in there and the atmosphere was generally festive, thanks to a lot of happy people and a mariachi band that somehow managed to combine "La Bamba" with "Twist and Shout" at one point. Hopefully, the fact that someone can head over there and enjoy a beer with a meal will boost business, help our economy and generally encourage other restaurants to open up here in Benton (we've got about 85,000 people in this county -- it's pitiful that a lot of diners have to head to Little Rock if they want to enjoy the modest pleasure of having a drink with a meal).
By the way, I had a diet Coke with my dinner. I was just happy to see a local establishment doing well tonight and I hope that continues as more people in the mood for a beer after work head to La Hacienda.
I did mention that I wasn't going to pick on Baptists and I meant it. I used to be a Baptist, but converted to Methodist after figuring out I just didn't have a lot in common with my former church (the Baptists may put the fun in fundamentalism, but the denomination just isn't for me).
Regardless, I'd argue that people who dismiss objections about liquor sales from Christian groups such as the Baptists are more than a bit uninformed. Here in the rural South, there was a problem years ago -- men were blowing their paychecks on booze instead of taking care of their families. In that environment, then, it became a social policy of many Baptist churches to stand against that family-destroying practice.
Over time, of course, the anti-alcohol stance of churches became doctrinal to the point that some pastors will tell you that Christ turned water into grape juice instead of wine. That's taking things to the extreme, of course, but it's easy to understand why a good number of Christian groups are still against drinking even in moderation.
I respect that point of view, but I'm glad that we Methodists don't tend to think that way. Saline County is still, unfortunately, dry. However, the fact that some restaurants here can now serve alcohol is a good start. If the day ever comes when liquor stores can open here, we can start keeping all that revenue from alcohol sales in Saline County instead of sending it to Little Rock where it doesn't benefit folks here one bit.
The Arkansas Legislature is in session once again and I, The Hawg, had to show up this morning and take pictures.
I've been cautioned against mentioning where I work a time or two as some of my opinions have proven controversial. Fair enough. I'll just mention that I'm a public relations guy for an organization that has a couple of lobbyists running around and talking to state legislators these days.
So I was there to take some photos of our lobbyists visiting with various political types. I'll use some of those photos in my anonymous organization's magazine (one of my jobs is to put that one together -- it's a full-color, 32-page magazine that is shipped bimonthly to about 8,500 people). I took a picture of the Capitol building that will make a great backdrop on a page covering some bills that our subscribers like. Here it is in a scaled, blog-friendly format: I like that one. The light was just right and I can't help but like the angle. It's missing a little something, however. Let's see... Oh yeah! Now it's perfect.
By the way, the legislature has traditionally met every two years but it was never unusual for the governor to call special sessions regularly. I liked the fact the legislature held regular sessions only once every two years because it could do less damage that way.
For some reason that is beyond me, however, Arkansas voters passed a measure in November to inflict the legislature on us more often by having them hold a regular session every year. What the hell are some people thinking?
At any rate, I do hope we survive the current session and won't wind up with higher taxes and a bunch of meddlesome, screwball laws when it's all said and done. I doubt we'll be that lucky.
One of the finest bloggers on the planet, Crotchety from Crotchety Old Man Yells at Cars, asked five questions carefully calculated to reveal more about me, The Hawg.
Here are his questions and my answers:
1. What was the craziest prank you ever pulled?
Pumping porn flicks through the cable system in my dorm in college. One of my friends had a theory that if you drank enough, you entered "stealth mode" and no one could see you. After we tested that theory many times by acting like idiots all over campus, we concluded there was some truth to it.
2. More than once you have shown an amazing ability to name things like trees and cats. When did you first realize you had this skill?
As long as I can remember. I blame my mom and dad. My mom is a psychologist who was always reading and my father, also an avid reader, has a doctorate in education and double majored in history and political science while earning his bachelor's degree. Dad is also a poet and my parents have had fun fooling around with the English language for ages. I've inherited that skill (or annoying habit, depending on your point of view).
3. With no professional football teams in the Natural State, how does one decide which professional team to to root for?
The Dallas Cowboys seem to be the team of choice here in Arkansas, which is odd because a lot of Arkansans detest Texas (I'm not one of them -- my wife and I have too many relatives in Texas to dislike the state). I started rooting for the Denver Broncos when I was seven-years-old because I like their uniforms. I stuck with the team after I noticed a lot of Arkansas Razorbacks wound up playing for Denver.
At any rate, a lot of Arkansans have ties to Texas, and that may be why people root for the Cowboys. It doesn't hurt things that the owner of the team is an Arkie.
4. Your posts often feature a lot of music. Did you ever consider a career in any part of the music industry?
Not really. I was a disc jockey at my college radio station (KHDX 93.1 in Conway -- Hendrix College's 10-watt flamethrower!) and spent a year as the program director for it. I also played sloppy rhythm guitar and sang (warbled?) in a band in college, the mighty Wacky Savages (read all about that and hear a couple of songs we wrote and recorded by clicking right here).
5. Due to some crazy scheduling snafu, the Arkansas Razorbacks, Benton High School and the Denver Broncos all kick off at the same time. What do you do?
Ah, that's easy! I'd go see the mighty Benton Panthers with my father. We're both University of Arkansas grads (I got my law degree there), but our first love has always been our first alma mater, Benton High School (we both bleed maroon and gray). Besides, one of my favorite things to do in the fall is go to Friday night football games here in Benton with my dad as that gives us a chance to visit. Just try carrying on a meaningful conversation at a noisy Razorbacks game. It just doesn't work.
That's it! If you'd like to be interviewed, please send me an e-mail by clicking the "E-mail The Hawg" link in my sidebar and I'll come up with five questions personalized to your blog.
I was driving across my hometown of scenic Benton, Ark., today when I saw a license plate that caught my attention.
It was one of those vanity plates and it read "EMBALMR." I suppose if you make your living as an embalmer, you might as well have a sense of humor about it, huh?
I've long thought about getting a vanity plate but I've never actually done it. I found a dandy tool at the Arkansas state Internet site that allows visitors to generate samples of their own vanity plates, see if the particular combination of letters and numbers they want is available and reserve their plates.
That site is located right here and it's more fun than a barrel full of monkeys. Go ahead and try it out. Play with it. Go nuts. I had minutes of fun, of course, and generated my own "The Hawg" license plate and was thrilled to find out it's available (I doubt I'll get it, but it's nice to know I could).
I generated some other license plates, too: Some of these require additional comment. For example, my son is 12-years-old and he will be driving in a couple of years. I've called him "The Boy" for as long as I can remember, so a vanity plate with that nickname on it seems mighty appropriate.
Also, I've been entertaining the idea of having an active and up-to-date law license once again. In this economy, it's a good idea to have as many options available as possible, right? That's doubly true if you happen to be in public relations and are watching PR folks getting thrown out of work right and left as organizations are trying to save money in a rough economy.
Should I ever make the decision to practice law again, a license plate that says "WEASEL" on it seems appropriate, doesn't it? Here's the odd thing about that -- both "WEASEL" and "WEASEL1" are unavailable in this state, but "WEASEL2" is available.
It seems strange to me that there are at least two people running around Arkansas with "weasel" plates. If I see one of them, I ought to wave that person down and ask why on earth they chose that particular plate and whether they practice law.
The other plates are just ones that seem appropriate for a lot of drivers in this state. Those plates are available, too, and I was impressed that the state's license plate generator won't even produce a sample if your requesting something that's not available.
They've screened out obscene plates, too, I discovered. That goes for some obviously obscene words and phrases and more covert ones such as "FUQ." Bear in mind that even if a plate is available, the state must still approve it. I wonder, then, if the "HATEYOU" plate would make it through the approval process. I somehow doubt it.
Since the 2008 presidential elections were decided in November, I've heard a lot of talk about how we all need to rally behind Barack Obama regardless of whether we voted for him or not.
That's good advice in the wake of any election, of course. However, it's just downright funny to hear people say that as they are, figuratively speaking, scraping the "Bush is not MY president" stickers off their bumpers.
Anyone who took up the "Bush is not my president" mantra needs to shut the hell up. They simply haven't earned the right to lecture anyone.
I used a newspaper clipping in that post and Matt over at Matt-Speak pointed out that item might have been faked over at The Newspaper Clipping Imager. After looking at that site, I concluded Matt might be right -- faking a newspaper article that looks convincing isn't that hard, seemingly.
I then put together a little article that would be true in a perfect world. Here it is: I've always wanted to own a newspaper and be a king, see. Thanks to the site Matt pointed out, I was able to pretend I achieved both. That's a fun site. Y'all go nuts.
I suppose that happens to those of us about to hit 40-years-old. Yes, pop culture changes on us and we just don't care anymore.
Regardless, there are some things I still find wildly amusing. For some reason, it's become common to get "Rickrolled" on the Internet. Perhaps you get e-mailed a link from a friend that cleverly steers you to a video of rick Rick Astley singing his classic Never Gonna Give You Up. Maybe you find a video you want to watch on the Internet and ole Rick pops up about halfway through it.
The whole "Rickrolling" thing has, evidently, taken a turn for the worse in at least one American city. Take a look at this article a friend of mine at work sent me:
Truth be told, I couldn't find a town on the map called "Shalton" or a newspaper called The Daily that might report news in such a city. Still, it's a fascinating story in that I could very well see this kind of thing happening somewhere.
And what the hell is it about Rick Astley these days, anyway? I thought his 15 minutes of fame was up in the 1980s. I don't understand why he's popping up now and I wish someone would explain it to me.
Furthermore, if people really are going around listening to Astley and beating up people, what the hell are they thinking? Astley banged out a rather sissy form of pop that would likely inspire all the violence of an Elton John concert. I mean, just take a look at this video:
Maybe when I blare Rick's big hit through the office tomorrow for the sheer hell of it all will be revealed to me. Will my fellow employees react with horror, get furious or dance around with gleeful abandon?
Lately, I've been getting a lot of emails at work featuring pictures of animals who are, allegedly, saying cutesy things in some strange, baby talk language.
