Kriss Allen wins 'American Idol,' fake kiss still sucks

Another season of American Idol has ended and Arkansas' own Kris Allen is the winner.

Frankly, I've never been all that interested in American Idol, but I kept up with it a bit because a good, Arkansas boy from Conway won it all. So, congratulations to him.

Ah, but I'm not going to spend too much time writing about that as a lot of people more interested in the show than me have already covered it.

No, I'm going to do my usual thing and gripe about something that annoys me. Specifically, I'm good and mad about fake kiss (the lack of capitalization is intentional -- don't bug me about).

During the brief time I spent watching American Idol tonight, I saw Allen's competitor -- Adam Lambert -- on stage singing with fake kiss. What is fake kiss? Not real KISS, that's what.

Of course, KISS in its prime consisted of four members -- Gene Simmons, Paul Stanley, Ace Frehley and Peter Criss. Yes, those lads dominated the 1970s with their pop metal stylings, but it all went bad one day. Yes, drummer Peter Criss didn't play a note on 1979's Dynasty album and was officially out of the band after 1980's Unmasked was released. Whiz-bang guitarist Ace Frehley, meanwhile, pretty much didn't give a damn what the band did as a result of the truly awful Music from "The Elder" was released in 1981, didn't play a note on 1982's Creatures of the Night and was on his way out the door soon after that album was released.

KISS staggered along for awhile and, in the mid 1990s, the original four members of the band united. Through the 80s and early 1990s, the band wore no makeup and thrilled fans by announcing the original members would put on their full costumes once again and hit the road. Yes, all seemed right with KISS.

Well, except for the fact that Criss and Frehley left the band again. Now, here's where the fake kiss part comes in -- they've been running around for the past few years with Eric Singer dressed up as Frehley and Tommy Thayer wearing the makeup that Criss made famous. Blasphemy! Blasted fake kiss.

The members of fake kiss have announced a new album and I'm already prepared to hate it. Running around with a couple of people pretending to be Frehley and Criss? That just drives me up the damned wall. Lambert deserved to fail just for being on the same stage with fake kiss.

Meanwhile, Frehley is still mixing his next album. I think I'll buy that one instead.

What the hell?

Well, well, well -- more bizarre news out of Washington.

What a surprise.

Of course, President Barack Obama announced some new mileage and emissions standards today that raise a ton of questions. Well, a lot of Americans will get around to pondering those questions after the fun of laughingly waving at SUV and pickup truck owners with Obama stickers on them wears off, at least.

Essentially, we're looking at some pretty stringent fuel economy requirements by 2016 -- 39 MPG on average for cars and 30 MPG on average for SUVs and pickup trucks. The thought, of course, is that car manufacturers will have to come up with vehicles that are smaller, lighter and more efficient.

What's the problem with that? Those of us who have been doing the "right" thing all along will be the ones getting penalized. Hey, my vehicle of choice -- a Toyota Matrix -- is classified as a small SUV and, as such, would meet that 30 MPG average requirement. Why do I drive a Matrix? Because I choose to do so and I've always gone for smaller, more efficient cars (they're cheap, reliable and I can run them to death without feeling any guilt). Obama's lackeys have predicted that cars will cost an average of $1,300 more due to the new regulations. So, I'll buy the kind of vehicle I was going to buy anyway and I'll get to pay more for it. What a bargain.

And let's not forget that we are undoubtedly looking a higher taxes due to the insane bailouts pushed for by both George W. Bush and Obama. Why on earth, then, would the government purposefully go out of its way to make vehicles more expensive, too?

Further, I can't help but think we're being set up in a way. If we look at the history of the American automotive industry, we'll see the big three tend to face major problems when big, gas-guzzling vehicles fall out of favor with the public. Yet, the Big 3 appear to be on board with Obama's latest plan.

Why? Why on earth would they be in support of a plan that seems to push them closer to extinction? A logical answer might be that we're cooking up some protectionism through which tariffs would be slapped on cars made by companies based outside of the U.S. in order to help American companies become more competitive.

That answer makes a lot of sense, really, when you consider the Japanese are far ahead of the Americans on Hybrid technology and GM seems intent on finding a market for its Volt. Let's see -- it will cost $35,000 to $40,000 whereas a base model Prius costs $22,000 and a fully loaded one sells for $27,000. The Prius is a proven vehicle whereas the highly experimental Volt is, well, not. Further, the Volt is one of those weird "plug it into a wall socket" vehicles manufactured by a company that tends to make garbage when out of its comfort zone (remember the Oldsmobile Omega, the Chevy Cavalier and the Chevy Vega?) How do you make the Volt viable in that atmosphere? How do you convince Americans to shell out up to $40,000 on a vehicle that might turn out to be yet another lemon? The answer is simple -- tax the living hell out of the Prius and artificially inflate the price of it. You'd better believe the same government that has spent billions of dollars bailing out GM would be more than willing to blatantly interfere in the free market and rip off consumers on that level.

Hey, a pimp will take some measures to protect his whores, right?

Music Monday -- KISS unplugged!

Here's an oldie but a goodie. Remember that MTV unplugged back in the mid-1990s when the original four members of KISS appeared on the same space for the first time in years? Here's whiz-kid guitarist Ace Frehley and the rest of the lads playing "2,000 Man." Enjoy, and remember that Ace has a new album coming out soon. Good times!

Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. One simple rule, leave ONLY the actual post link here. You can grab this code at LJL Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice.