Valentine's Day, Michael Jordan style

First off, happy Valentine's Day from your good friend, The Hawg. Here's hoping you've got something special planned with a loved one and will have a great day.

Yes, Valentine's Day may have started as little more than a scam from greeting card companies, but it's turned into something -- a legitimate excuse to eat a bunch of candy and get presents. Who doesn't love presents and candy?

Second, let me relate a little story about Michael Jordan and Valentine's Day that's sure to please. Back around 1993, I was still toiling away at the University of Arkansas and earning that piece of worthless junk I call a law degree (yes, I did practice for four years and hated every minute of it, so hush). Now, law school isn't a very cheerful place. No, it's a place full of dread and bad vibes as you've got a bunch of unhappy, overworked students being tormented by unhappy, overworked law professors.

I, The Hawg, took it upon myself to bring a little cheer to the dreadful scene on Valentine's Day with a batch of what has to be one of the greatest byproducts of he holiday -- Michael Jordan Valentine's Day cards.

Who wouldn't be cheered up by that? Who wouldn't be thrilled to receive a card featuring Michael Jordan in a groovy sweater and affirming their coolness. Who wouldn't be happy to get a card featuring Michael Jordan going up for a patented dunk with slogans and buzzwords such as "cool" and "have a high flying day" plastered all over it?

Those Michael Jordan cards were, indeed, truly great. I offered to buy my 11-year-old daughter a box of them off of eBay so that she could hand them out to students and spread joy throughout the fifth grade, but she refused my offer.

Kids. Go figure.

Shanahan heads to Washington

Well, coaching mastermind Mike Shanahan went and found himself a new job.

Shanahan, of course, was tossed out of his job as the head coach of the Broncos before the season began. The ungrateful bastards in Denver who threw him out on his ear added insult to injury by replacing him with Josh McDaniels – a snot-nosed little punk who didn’t do a thing to earn the job but know the right people.

It didn’t take Shanahan long to find a job – he’s heading to the Washington Redskins. In other words, Denver is stuck with a head coach that’s barely old enough to shave, a no-name quarterback who would probably be panhandling for a living if he wasn't playing football and an angry fan base (you can count me among those irate fans) while Washington stands to benefit from the Broncos’ stupidity. There’s some justice there.

The news of Shanahan’s job was just the icing on the cake during a couple of months that had to be terrible for McDaniels. His team started out 6-0 (based largely on freakish, circus-like plays at the end of games -- who knew that wouldn't last?) then promptly lost 8 of its last 10 games. Two of those losses were to Kansas City (a terrible team this year) and Oakland (even worse) and Denver is out of the playoffs.

After that disastrous end, McDaniels was certainly sent off to his room without dinner. Fortunately, he quit sulking long enough to pull out his “business crayon” and write a statement congratulating Shanahan (you can see his fine penmanship (crayonmanship?) above). Good for him. The young whippersnapper showed a bit of maturity there. McDaniels might yet become a man.

The frustrating thing about all of this is that I pointed out months ago that the Broncos couldn’t have done much worse than McDaniels. He was obviously a terrible hire, so why on earth am I reading articles like this one in which people claim that the Broncos are worse off than they were a year ago? It was obvious that bringing in McDaniels and replacing quarterback Jay Cutler with an anonymous bum like Kyle Orton would result in disaster, so why is anyone surprised? Why in the hell was McDaniels hired in the first place? It makes absolutely no sense.

What is truly hysterical about this article is that the author points out that McDaniels lacks maturity and is too emotional. What did anyone expect? Denver hired a kid to coach its team, so it’s no shock that he’s prone to throwing tantrums and making terrible decisions. Good grief.

Good luck to Shanahan in Washington. It’s absolutely preposterous that he was run out of Denver, so I can’t help but wish him well somewhere else.

Arkansas wins Liberty Bowl in overtime, stuns The Hawg

Well, it’s official – the Arkansas Razorbacks beat the East Carolina Pirates 20-17 to win the Liberty Bowl in overtime.

Yes, there have been a slew of bowls over the past few days. Rumor has it you’ve even got a national championship game in a few days.

We in the Natural State only gave a damn about one game and that was the Liberty Bowl (I know that’s true of a lot of us, at least). We’re just happy that Arkansas managed to win.

Frankly, I’m more than a bit amazed.

“But, The Hawg,” you might say. “Why are you amazed? Arkansas should have won that game.”

The only answer I can say is that Arkansas, historically, has been terrible in bowl games. Sure, the Hogs had some success in the old Southwest Conference, but the Razorbacks have found all sorts of odd ways to lose bowl games since joining the Southeastern Conference.

Hell, the Razorbacks lost to UNLV in the Las Vegas Bowl back in 2000, of all things. That was the worst bowl game loss in recent memory, but the Hogs have been decidedly underwhelming in a lot of bowls over the years.

Besides, East Carolina is a very good team. The Pirates won the Conference USA title and has offensive and defensive linemen that are both quick and ridiculously large.

At any rate, Arkansas’ win in the Liberty Bowl boiled down to one thing – the Pirates’ kicker was worse than the Razorbacks’. Arkansas tried to give the game away quite a few times, in fact, and the Hogs’ offense was terrible (you can credit the solid defense for at least 10 points due to grabbing a couple of interceptions).

Neither team could brag much about their kicking games. The Pirates missed four field goals and Alex Tejada – the kicker for the Razorbacks – managed to mess one up, too.

That’s the thing about Tejada – that kid folds faster than Superman on laundry day when he’s under any pressure at all. He’s been underwhelming in a number of games over the past three years, in fact.

Fortunately, he came through when he was needed the most when he kicked the game winning field goal in the Liberty Bowl. Good for him.

So congratulations to the Razorbacks. They didn’t look great tonight, but at least that got that victory and they managed to beat a good team, to boot.

Are they on hard drugs in Philadelphia?

Well, it’s official – the Philadelphia Phillies rewarded ace pitcher Cliff Lee by trading him to the Seattle as part of a complicated deal involving four MLB teams.

“Dude, this deal is like way, way complicated,” said Phillies General Manager Ruben “Shaggy” Amaro Jr. at a press conference after the deal was finalized." I mean, whoa! You know? Hey – did you ever think when they mean space was infinite they meant, like, a whole universe could be in my fingernail? The Solar system looks a lot like an atom, you know? Man, we could all be living in someone’s toenail! Dude!”

Lee – a good Benton, Ark., boy – headed to Philadelphia after a trade with Cleveland in July. He won four games in the postseason for Philadelphia and was credited with the team’s only two wins in the World Series against the Yankees.

Philadelphia rewarded Lee by trading him to Seattle for three minor league prospects and a case of Milwaukee’s Best. By the end of the day, the Phillies still had the three prospects, the case of cheap, swillworthy beer and ace pitcher Roy Halladay after a trade with Toronto.

Yeah, there’s some reward, huh? You work hard to get your team to  the World Series, win a couple of games for them when they get their and then you get traded for three scrubs and a case of cheap beer. Yes, they’re either ungrateful bastards in Philadelphia or they’re smoking hard drugs.

I prefer to blame drug use for the rotten treatment Lee received. Why? Because that’s funnier.

At least Philadelphia got something out of the deal. The real loser in the trade was Toronto. That team got three minor leaguers from Philadelphia, lost one heck of a pitcher and – to add insult to injury – sent $6 million to the Phillies.

Oh, Toronto sent one of those prospects – Michael “Who?” Taylor – to the Athletics for Brett “King of the Minor Leagues” Wallace.

Toronto, in this instance, played the part of the Pittsburgh Pirates – a team known for trading great players in exchange for some prospects. The hope, of course, is those prospects will amount to something. In Pittsburgh’s case, the prospects that don’t pan out become franchise players while the ones that turn out to be pretty good get traded off for more prospects. Hopefully, Toronto isn’t wandering down that sad path.

The team that is in great shape here is Seattle. They get a heck of a great pitcher in Lee and get to team him with Felix Hernandez, another outstanding pitcher.

Sadly, all the talent in the world won’t send the Mariners to the World Series. There’s a club that seems to figure out creative ways of dashing any hope of heading to the World Series in spite of the number of great players who have played there.

It’s all just too bad for Lee.

Razorbacks should never play in the morning

Yes, the Arkansas Razorbacks utterly failed against Ole Miss today to the tune of 30-17 on Saturday.

Sadly for the fans of the perinially underachieving Razorbacks, the game started at 11 a.m. Why’s that unfortunate?

Because most of us simply can’t start drinking so early in the day and watching that game sober was a true chore. Yes, it might be easy for a bunch of college kids and 20-somethings to tie on a healthy buzz that early in the day, but some of us have kids and responsibilities to worry about and can’t get good and liquored up to endure a Razorbacks game.

And this game was a horrible one, folks. Watching the Razorbacks lose to a team coached by Houston Nutt is humiliating. That man is about as sharp as a sack of dog poop, yet his team managed to make the Razorbacks look like straight-up fools.

Nutt coached here for a decade and you’d think we’d know better than anyone that he would run the ball constantly. Regardless, Dexter McCluster managed to rack up 332 rushing yards against the Hogs and the defense often looked shocked that a Nutt-coached team would run the damned ball most of the time.

Bobby Petrino was highly touted when he took the head coaching job before last season. He’s now been beaten twice by that moronic Nutt. Twice. The mind boggles. That’s rather like being consistently pranked by the retarded kid in high school.

Meanwhile, I do believe I’ll skip those morning games for the time being.

Sadly, the Benton Panthers stink this year

My dad and I both watch as many Benton Panthers home games as we can.

Why? We both graduated from Benton and high school football is still a big deal here in Arkansas. Besides, I do enjoy going and hanging out with my dad and that’s a great excuse to do it. The most important thing about those games – as far as I’m concerned – is that I watch them with dad.

I’m glad that’s my priority because the Panthers are flat out terrible this year. How terrible? We saw the first home game and the fourth game of the season on Friday and Benton absolutely got crushed by Pine Bluff. In fact, the Panthers were so small that it looked like Pine Bluff was facing a junior high team.

Here in Arkansas, there’s such a thing as the mercy rule. When a team gets 35 points ahead, then the officials just let the clock run and stop it for nothing but time outs. We learned on Friday that the mercy rule doesn’t apply until the third quarter as Pine Bluff had run up enough points by the first part of the second quarter to invoke the rule.

The Panthers wound up losing 42-7 and that’s only because Pine Bluff pulled their starters in the second half (Benton couldn’t even move the ball well against the second string). That, folks, is some bad football.

In addition to the Pine Bluff game, Benton has been slaughtered by Bryant, humiliated by Catholic High and embarrassed by Conway. So far this season, the Panthers have scored 28 points while their opponents have scored 168.

Ouch.

Yes, this is the first year for new head coach Steve Quinn and a bad season was expected. However, Benton is severely lacking in the talent department and there is a reason for that.

Benton wins championships in baseball and golf and is even competitive in track and field, tennis, soccer and basketball (well, they do well from time to time in basketball, at least). It seems, then, that there are a lot of sports that appeal to students so it’s no wonder you just don’t see as many kids trying out to play football these days.

After all, players feel like they’ve been in a major car wreck after a football game. That’s not true in baseball. I can’t say I’m surprised at the lack of talent, then.

Still, it just kills me to watch the Panthers get slaughtered. A lot of my dad’s classmates feel the same way, it seems.

Last night, a lot of members of the Class of 1960 attended the game. I sat up in their section with dad and we were the only ones left at the end of the game.

“They’re losing faith, dad!” I yelled as each of his classmates left.

It’s hard to watch. I hope the team is better next year, but who knows?

The Pirates set a record!

In case no one noticed, the Pittsburgh Pirates now have the longest consecutive losing streak of any team in the MLB, NBA, NFL or NHL.

On Monday, the Pirates earned their 82nd loss of the season in a game against the Cubs. With that loss, the Bucs clinched a dubious honor -- 17 consecutive losing seasons.

They came into the season tied with the Philadelphia Phillies -- a team that managed to lose 16 consecutive seasons from 1933-1949. Pittsburgh hasn't had a winning season since 1992 and seems doomed to consistent failure in the foreseeable future.

How bad is Pittsburgh? Read all about it right here. That article sums it all up better than I ever could. Besides, I'm too tired to give a damn. I've rooted for the Pirates for years and I'm about sick of caring how the team does.

In fact, the rotten Pirates are one of the reasons I don't follow baseball liked I did once upon a time. In fact, the last time I watched a full Pirates game was a few years ago. After hurling a few empty beer cans at the screen and cursing the team for being so clueless and awful, I pretty much quit watching Pittsburgh and haven't paid much attention to baseball since.

I've just about concluded that the way to get a team to turn rotten is to convince me to room for it. I've pulled for the Pirates since about 1977 and look what's happened to them. Around that same time I started rooting for the Denver Broncos and they've been getting worse since John Elway retired a decade ago.

Oh, don't get me started on Denver. They fired Mike Shanahan and alienated quarterback Jay Cutler until he made up his mind to leave. Shanahan was replaced by a punk, nothing kid of a coach named Josh McDaniels and Cutler was traded to Chicago for Kyle Orton -- a loser who is so anonymous that Denver might have been better off pulling a fan out of the stands and making him quarterback.

Denver will suck this year. Count on it. In fact, I'd be stunned if the Broncos did anything but stink up the field over the next few seasons.

As for Basketball, I followed the Bulls quite a bit. The Bulls, of course, ran off Phil Jackson, Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen and haven't done much since then. Even my beloved Arkansas Razorbacks -- once a force to be reckoned with in the 1960s through the 1980s -- have been reduced to a fair-to-middling team since joining the SEC.

Hell, even my beloved Benton Panthers are terrible at football these days.

My wife isn't a huge sports fan. I'm starting to think she's got a point.

7-5 for the Hogs this year…

Yes, football season is upon us once again and we Arkansans are hoping our beloved Razorbacks do something this year.

My dad tells me that he was in a restaurant last year when the Hogs were in the midst of their 5-7 season and two fellow (who had obviously been drinking a lot) boldly predicted the Razorbacks wouldn’t lose a game this season.

Most of us haven’t lost our heads and are hoping for the team to have a decent season. And we’ve got some reasons to be excited. First and foremost, there’s Ryan Mallett – the Batesville, Ark., native who went to Michigan and then came back home to Arkansas. He was a heavily recruited quarterback in 2006 and we’re hoping the fellow follows through on his promise this season at Arkansas.

Hey, we’re not used to having top-notch quarterbacks at the University of Arkansas, so seeing one on the field will be a bit of a novelty for us. Our former head coach, that damned Houston Nutt, didn’t go out of his way to recruit quarterbacks and managed to ruin some good ones when they fell in his lap. Let’s see what Arkansas Coach Bobby Petrino can do with a talented passer, huh?

Let’s not forget that Michael Smith – the running back who was one of the few highlights on the offense last year – will be back this season. He’ll be joined by Dennis Johnson in the backfield and here’s hoping the running game will be solid.

Yes, Michael Smith was pretty much the running game last year and the offense was just plain dreadful. It appears that the passing game will be solid, too, provided Mallett can find some targets. Last year, those quarterbacking brothers Casey and Nathan Dick had trouble finding receivers. We’re not sure if the receivers were just terrible or if the Dick brothers were just lousy quarterbacks.

The receivers are improved this year and perhaps the most impressive of all is tight end D.J. Williams. Of course, the question remains – will the offensive line hold up long enough to protect Mallett so he can throw to a receiver or two? That was a problem last year as that offensive line folded faster than Superman on laundry day. Here’s hoping Petrino has beaten the line into shape.

The defense was terribly weak last year, but I always wondered – was it really just bad or were the players worn out because the pitiful offense never gave them a chance to rest? Again, that’s a question that will have to be answered throughout the season.

Having said all of that, here are my predictions for the season. These, I’m sure, will hold up pretty well.

Sept. 5 – Missouri State. Arkansas will whip the socks off of Missouri State. That’s why teams like Missouri State are on the schedule. That one will be an easy win.

Sept. 19 – Georgia. It’s rarely good when Georgia comes to town. They dominated the Hogs during the Nutt years and there’s no reason to think that will change this season. There’s a loss.

Sept. 26 – at Alabama. It’s no fluke that Alabama is ranked #5 in the preseason polls. Playing Alabama this season will be bad enough for almost anyone and you can double the misery when a team faces the Crimson Tide at home. There’s a loss.

Oct. 3 – at Texas A&M. Ah, the Aggies are rebuilding, too. Still, considering the weak showing by the Hogs last year in almost every game, I’ll have to call that one a loss.

Oct. 10 – Auburn. Yes, another team that’s rebuilding. Fortunately, they’re coming to Arkansas. Home field advantage will be a big factor here. And, we’ll have a win.

Oct. 17 – at Florida. Arkansas beat Florida once upon a time. Honest! The losing streak will continue this season against the preseason No. 1. That’s a loss.

Oct. 24 – at Ole Miss. Yes, the Rebels are ranked No. 8 in the country right now. However, that ranking doesn’t take the team’s biggest liability into account – head coach Houston “Boxcar” Nut. Nutt frustrated Arkansas fans for years while he goofed off in this state and he’ll annoy Ole Miss fans before long. There’s a win for the Hogs because that’s the kind of game that Nutt has fumbled with inept coaching for years. By the way, I chose the “Boxcar” nickname for Nutt around 2002 because the man is a straight up bum.

Oct. 31 – Eastern Michigan. Another rent-a-win.

Nov. 7 – South Carolina. Poor old South Carolina. That team never can get it together. The Hogs will win this one.

Nov. 14 – Troy. The third – and final – rent-a-win of the year.

Nov. 21 – Mississippi State. Remember when Mississippi State fielded great teams? I can’t recall when exactly that was, either. There’s nothing impressive about them this year, so the Hogs will win that one.

Nov. 29 – at LSU. The preseason No. 11 will clobber the Hogs unless half the team comes down with swine flu. There’s a loss for the Razorbacks.

So, we’re looking at a 7-5 season with three wins against nonconference opponents, meaning the Razorbacks should rack up a 4-5 SEC record this year. Ugly but true. Bank on it. Hey, they’ll get better.

Midget wrestling and minor league baseball? Seriously?

A friend of mine was excited at work today because he received an email notification that there would be midget wrestling last night in North Little Rock at an Arkansas Travelers game.

No. You really can’t make up stuff like this. Here is the relevant part of that aforementioned email:

“The show you definitely don’t want to miss…MIDGET WRESTLING makes its final appearance of the 2009 baseball season presented by Midtown Billiards, The Edge, CW Arkansas and Fox 16. L’il Kato and Puppet ‘The Psycho Dwarf’ will battle for the World Heavyweight Midget Wrestling Championship at 6:45 p.m. in the squared circle at home plate!”

My friend called me from the game, declared the event “awesome” and shot some video on his iPhone that I can watch at the office on Monday. Sadly I couldn’t make it out to see some midget wrestling and I’m not sure whether L’il Kato or Puppet ‘The Psycho Dwarf’ won the event.

It doesn’t matter that much, really. I just feel I missed out on something unusual and more than a bit entertaining. I’ve been an Arkansan my entire life but some things that happen in this state still surprise me.

Midget wrestling before an Arkansas Travelers baseball game. Wow.

Pittsburgh Pirates in good shape to set a record!

As I've whined about on this here blog before, I'm a Pittsburgh Pirates fan.

Generally, that is a cause for great shame. The Pirates are terrible and show absolutely no signs of improving one whit.

Ah, but the very source of that shame has turned into a reason for Pirates fans around the nation to feel great pride in that terrible team. Why? Pittsburgh is knocking on the door of destiny -- that little team is on the verge of officially being saddled with the honor of being the worst franchise in professional sports.

How? Pittsburgh has had 16 losing seasons in a row and, as such, is tied with the Philadelphia Phillies for having the worst record in baseball. That's right -- we've not seen a record that horrible since the Phillies piled up 16 losing seasons from 1933-1949. No team in the NBA, NFL or NHL has put up that many consecutive, losing seasons.

If Pittsburgh manages to turn in another losing season, the team will be the only one on professional sports to have 17 horrible seasons in a row. The record-setting Pirates are well on their way to earning the recognition for doing what they do best -- playing really, really terrible baseball.

How bad are they? The Pirates ought to get the word "suck" copyrighted as no one is as terrible as Pittsburgh. Think your team sucks? You're wrong -- Pittsburgh owns the word. If the team was an auto manufacturer it would be Chrysler. If the team was a presidential candidate it would be Mike Dukakis. If the team was a world power in World War II it would be France.

Ah, there were some that thought the Pirates wouldn't make it to that magical 17th season of suckitude. The team started off the year with an 11-7 record, causing some to express doubt that they'd fulfill their destiny of being the worst pro team in the country.

I always had faith in the Pirates, however, and they've silenced all the mean-spirited doubters by quickly dropping the past 12 of 13 games leading them to the current 12-19 record and their well deserved, last place position in the NL Central. Way to stink it up, Pirates! I knew you could do it.

Besides, Pittsburgh has started off hot in a few seasons over the past 17 years and it always end the same. That should come as a surprise to no one. Just have a look at the nobodies that dot the Pirates' roster and you'll understand why I'm certain the team won't disappoint all of us who believe the team will set a record this year. With a bunch of players like that, there's almost no way the team won't fail miserably and achieve immortality in the process.

I'm going to be so bold as to predict that the Pirates will not only blow this season but will tank next year and probably fail a few more times before actually stringing enough wins to finish up above .500. The Pirates have that losing formula down and I can't imagine they'll do a whole lot to change it.

That golden, losing formula works like this. Let's say Pittsburgh has an outstanding player. They will trade that player for, say, three prospects. Let's assume two of those prospects are terrible and one turns out to be spectacular. The terrible prospects will become franchise players while the spectacular one will be traded for more prospects.

The pattern repeats itself every year, thus insuring that Pittsburgh will remain inept almost every year. Such dedication to sucking is to be applauded -- most clubs merely want to win games and reach the World Series, but those lads in Pittsburgh have a different agenda.

No, the owners of that team obviously want to suck worse than any club in the history of professional sports in the United States. They set their goals way on back in 1992 after the team that almost reached the World Series disbanded through free agency. Thanks to those visionaries, the Pirates will -- without a doubt -- set a record that will stand for a long, long time.

Good luck, Pirates! You stink like no one else can or probably ever will. Good job, lads!

The Hawg considering a career change?

There are times when being a sports fan is just downright aggravating.

I'll give you an example -- I've been a fan of the Pittsburgh Pirates since about 1977. There's a team that hasn't had a winning season since 1992 and things aren't likely to change for that horrible club anytime soon.

Baseball season, then, isn't much fun.

It appears that football season isn't going to be much fun, either. I've rooted for the Denver Broncos for even longer than I've rooted for the Pirates. Watching the Broncos in the 1980s was difficult as the team made it to the Super Bowl three times at the end of that decade and got stomped into the ground each time.

Ah, but the team has been more competitive than not through the years and actually won a couple of Super Bowls in 1998 and 1999. Even when the team wasn't having a championship season, the Broncos have typically been in the running.

It appears all that has changed. What the hell is wrong with the folks running that club? Did they -- in a drunken haze -- decide it would be a good idea to fire coach Mike Shanahan? Were they hitting the Coors Light so hard that they figured hiring that kid, Josh McDaniels, to replace Shanahan was the right thing to do? How on earth did they wind up trading quarterback Jay Cutler to the Chicago Bears for Kyle Orton?

Kyle Orton? Seriously? Could they have found a bigger nobody of a quarterback than Kyle Orton? He wears #18 because that's how many people have heard of him. I hear Ryan Leaf is working at a parking garage somewhere in west Texas these days. Couldn't they have offered the job to him?

The thing that bugs me the most about all of the alcohol-fueled insanity that has possibly hit Denver was the decision to fire Shanahan then turn around and hire a punk kid to replace him. Now, don't go defending McDaniels. Hiring him was the wrong thing to do. Period. I'm right on this and anyone who disagrees is flat out wrong. That little 33-year-old nobody has done absolutely nothing to warrant being named head coach of a middle-tier college team, much less an NFL club.

Let's take a look at this little zit's resume, shall we? In 1999 and 2000 his daddy got him a job as a graduate assistant at Michigan State under Nick Saban. He spent 2001 getting coffee for people in the New England Patriots organization and was an assistant defensive coach in 2002 and 2003. From there he became the quarterbacks coach and was named offensive coordinator -- a position he kept for two whole years before being named the damned head coach of the damned Broncos.

Apparently, the Democrats ran all of the bums out of Denver when they had their convention there last year. With no bums available to take the job, McDaniels got it. As a bonus, he is also the recipient of the "Luckiest Undeserving Bastard on the Planet" award.

Well, by God, I'm not going to put up with this. I've watched the Pirates go to hell and I'm not going to sit still and watch zippy the wonder kid shove the Broncos down the same path. I'll take that coaching job at Denver and I'll be great at it, too. Here are my qualifications.

1. I like football, like, a lot. That's right. I'm 39-years-old and I've been watching football since before McDaniels was alive. I may not have spent a year running errands for the Patriots and my daddy might not have gotten me a job at Michigan State, but I do know the point of football is to (as John Madden once put it) to move the ball down the field while keeping the other team from doing the same thing. That ought to count for something, right?

2. My sister-in-law is from Denver. That's right -- The Hawg has ties to that fair city. What does Josh McDaniels have? Nothing, that's what. He's an Ohio boy and spent time in Michigan and the East Coast before giggling his way through a job interview in Denver. Compared to him, I'm practically a local. Who wouldn't want to see a local boy guide their team to victory?

3. I played a lot of that Tudor Electric Football as a kid. Oh, you go right ahead and laugh. Laugh, laugh, laugh it up, ace. I can do some strategy, man. Do you know how hard it is to win a game based solely on running plays because the "triple threat" quarterback doesn't work worth a damn? I do, kids. I was an innovator back in my Tudor Electric Football days, too. I developed the "pack two rows of linemen in front of the running back" play, the "move the little dial things so that everyone runs to the right (or left) to confuse the other team" play and the famed "arrange all those players in an unstoppable wedge and march down the field" play. I've got the ability to come up with solutions to difficult problems, see. Who wouldn't want that?

4. Institutional knowledge. While McDaniels was trying to figure out how not to pee his diaper, I was watching the Broncos face the Dallas Cowboys in the Super Bowl. I know full well the importance of that team to the fair city of Denver and will do my best to keep the fans happy. Those Denver fans go nuts, McDaniels. Remember the 1990 season (well, you probably don't, seeing how you were going through puberty and all)? Denver was having a terrible season and the fans took it badly. One radio disc jockey perched on a billboard and said he would broadcast from there until Denver won a game. He was up there in a freezing winter for weeks. One woman in Mile High stadium maced a bunch of fans for the other team and one wife and father was so distraught after a game that he came home from Mile High, held his wife and kids at gunpoint and was escorted away from his house by the cops.

Are you ready for that kind of pressure, McDaniels? I doubt it.

5. Denver couldn't do any worse. The Broncos would have been better off picking someone at random out of a phone book than choosing McDaniels. Why not give the job to a fellow who has been a loyal fan for about as long as McDaniels has been alive? Think about it, Broncos. Do the right thing.

Apparently, I root for the wrong team from Pittsburgh

It's official -- the Pittsburgh Steelers became the first team to win six Super Bowls by beating the Arizona Cardinals in what will go down as one of the great NFL championship games.

I'm a Denver Broncos fan and I was rooting for the Cardinals, but it's really hard to not be happy for the Steelers. That is, without a doubt, one of the finest and hardest-working franchises in the NFL and a team that has earned the respect of football fans everywhere.

Having said all of that, I've come to the conclusion that I root for the wrong team from Pittsburgh. yes, I have the great misfortune of being a Pirates fan and I'm still not sure why I expect the team to do anything but stink and upset me.

It's the same thing every year. I start out following the Pirates closely and then start watching the St. Louis Cardinals in late April or May when the Bucs are mathematically eliminated from the World Series.

How bad are the Pirates? The team hasn't had a winning season since 1992 and hasn't won a World Series since 1979. Rooting for a team like Pittsburgh will cause one to look at fans of the lowly Chicago Cubs and mumble, "Lucky bastards."

Cubs fans, see, have hope and pull for a team that actually manages to post a winning season from time to time. The Pirates, on the other hand, are the Detroit Lions of the MLB.

So, after watching the Steelers tear through the AFC once again, set an NFL record for winning six Super Bowls and generally being the envy of football fans everywhere, I've got to ask one question -- what the hell is going on with the Pirates?

I've heard about enough of that "small market team" nonsense and I'm almost sick of hearing about salary caps. Hey, I'd love to see a salary cap in baseball as I do believe it will lead to more competition -- it's certainly worked out that way in the NFL.

Still, let's take a look at the Tampa Bay Devil Rays, a scrubby team that can afford to pay their starters a case of Pabst Blue Ribbon and a 1973 Ford Pinto. That's a team that went to the World Series last year in spite of being underfunded and stuck in a small market.

One can only conclude the Tampa Bay management has at least a casual interest in winning, whereas the same can't be said of Pittsburgh. Here's how things go with the Pirates. Let's say Pittsburgh has a great player. The team will trade said great player for, perhaps, three prospects.

Out of those three prospects, let's say that one turns out to be a great player. That one will be traded for more prospects whereas the other two will become franchise players. The Pirates, see, just seem to slit their own throats every year and it's maddening. It's hard to build a solid franchise when you're constantly dealing your talented players away for prospects that will get dealt if they turn out well. I've been watching that perpetual cycle for the past few years and I'm sick of it.

I hope this is the year that the Pirates will learn a lesson or two from their cousins across town and even the Devil Rays. We Pirates fans are just about out of patience.

How 'bout them Hogs?

It seems we have reason to rejoice here in Arkansas.

For one thing, that miserable football season is well behind us. Last season was the first one for head coach Bobby Petrino and the Razorbacks wound up with a miserable 5-7 record (2-6 in the SEC). We'll see what happens when Petrino has a chance to get some of his own recruits and the team has had a season to get used to his system.

The best news, of course, is that the basketball Razorbacks are off to a heck of a start. This is head coach John Pelphrey's second season and the Razorbacks are 12-1 thus far.

The Hogs have won their past 10 games, in fact, and we haven't seen that happen since 1995 -- a year in which the Razorbacks made it to the final round of the NCAA tournament and lost to UCLA. Of course, the Hogs won the NCAA championship in 1994 by beating Duke (it was fun to watch Duke lose, particularly since the "experts" predicted they'd slaughter Arkansas).

At any rate, Arkansas has also managed to knock off two top 10 teams in the past week. Last week, 4th ranked Oklahoma came to Fayetteville and the Hogs beat them 96-88. No. 7 Texas lost 67-61 in Fayetteville just the other night.

What was noteworthy about both of those games is that Arkansas is a young team (you can't swing a dead cat without hitting a freshman) and the Hogs went up against two teams that had more talent and experience. Regardless, the Hogs found a way to win both games and I haven't seen the Razorbacks scrap and fight that much since Nolan Richardson left in 2002.

The icing on the cake here is that Pelphrey showed up in a red sports coat the other night, thus showing off those school colors on national television. Good for him.

Hopefully, the Hogs will keep winning those games the team is supposed to lose and make it past the second round in the NCAA tournament this year. Pelphrey's turning out to be a heck of a coach and that's good news.

It's fun to watch another dysfunctional bunch of sports fans for a change

I hope you good people took a look at that YouTube video -- that was Auburn Athletic Director Jay Jacobs being heckled by Auburn fans.

Why was Jacobs being given such a hard time? Because the school went and hired Gene Chizik as the head football coach. Frankly, I'm not sure why they got rid of Tommy Tuberville -- a coach who went 85-40 (52-30 in the SEC) -- and replaced him with a coach who went 5-19 (2-12 in the Big 12) at Iowa State.

As I've mentioned time and time again, I'm an Arkansas Razorbacks fan. Because of that, I can't throw any stones at Auburn because we've made our share of idiotic coaching moves here in the Natural State.

The one that still makes me mad, of course, has to do with that idiot Houston Nutt, a head coach who managed to achieve a sparkling 4-7 record at Boise State before he wound up as the coach of the Arkansas Razorbacks. It's fascinating to note that Tuberville was in the running for the job, but that sleazy Nutt wound up with the job somehow.

It's also worth mentioning that Boise State improved substantially after Nutt packed up his trailer, his insane wife and headed to Arkansas.

So, I feel your pain, Auburn. I just hope Chizik works out better than Nutt did here. If not, you're looking at several years of fans wearing black shirts to ball games and a coach who makes the state look bad every time he opens his mouth. Hopefully, Chizik won't be an embarrassment to Auburn.

A lot of us hated Nutt for the majority of his tenure here. Yes, he had a great first season and the program simply went to hell after that. In addition to his lack of coaching skill, his off-field shenanigans and delightfully odd behavior at press conferences during games and press conferences made fans simply loathe him. Here's hoping Chizik fares better at Auburn.

If he does turn out horribly, however, there's still hope -- Ole Miss will get sick of having Nutt around as head coach before too many more seasons and that school will apparently hire anyone.

By the way, some irate Auburn fan has already had some fun with Jacobs' entry at Wikipedia. I'll quote that here before it gets changed:

"Jay Jacobs is the current director of athletics for the Auburn Tigers athletic department.

He was named Auburn's 14th Director of Athletics on December 22, 2004, after working in almost every area of the Auburn Athletic Department for the previous 20 years. He has recently come under controversy for his hiring of Auburn's new football coach, Gene Chizik. Though Chizik had a 5-19 record as a head coach prior to the hiring, he is white and likes to drink whiskey with Pat Dye, making him the ideal candidate for continuing Auburn's historical approach of putting out marginally successful, probation-riddled football teams."

It's a nice of pace to see some SEC fans other than the ones here in Arkansas upset about a coaching hire. Still, good luck to Auburn.

Thanks, by the way, to fellow blogger Paul Eilers over at Paul's Health Blog for sending the YouTube video my way.

The Golden Boot

I was reading this post earlier today over at Paul's Health Blog.

Yes, it seems Paul was excited that his beloved East Carolina Pirates were playing in the Conference USA championship against the Tulsa Golden Hurricane (yes, we know how fierce those hurricanes are in landlocked states like Oklahoma, don't we?) Paul must really be excited because his team won, 27-24, and is headed for the Liberty Bowl.

Good for them. There's an East Carolina connection in that Skip Holtz is the head coach. He's the son of Lou Holtz, a man who had some success here in Arkansas as the head coach of the Razorbacks and even more success at Notre Dame. There's an Arkansas connection at Tulsa, too -- Gus Malzahn was the offensive coordinator for a season before Houston Nutt and his flunkies ran him out of the state.

Malzahn, of course, is in his second year as an offensive coordinator over at Tulsa and has been doing relatively well. Apparently, we didn't send Nutt and his sideshow packing to Ole Miss early enough.

At any rate, there's not a whole lot we Razorbacks fans can do these days but follow teams with Arkansas connections and hope they do well. The Razorbacks, after a miserable 5-7 season (2-6 in the SEC), are going nowhere. We're also hoping the rumors that our head coach, Bobby Petrino, won't be heading off to Auburn to take the open job over there.

I won't dwell on the whole Auburn rumor as we seem to get pounded with such talk at the end of every season.

At any rate, at least Arkansas won the Golden Boot this year. What's the Golden Boot? It's the trophy awarded every year to the winner of the Arkansas-LSU game. The trophy was first awarded in 1996 in an attempt to manufacture a rivalry for Arkansas (I'll talk about that in a bit).

Arkansas and LSU play the day after Thanksgiving every year and, for the second year in a row, Arkansas won that game. So, the Golden Boot is something, I suppose. It's also worth mentioning that the team improved consistently throughout the year, so it appears everything will be fine with Bobby Petrino at the helm. This was his first year and Nutt didn't leave him with much to work with, sadly.

Now, I mentioned something about manufacturing a rivalry. Let me explain. In 1991, Arkansas left the old Southwest Conference and joined the SEC. Regardless of what anyone says, the SEC has been a terrible fit for Arkansas since the day the Hogs joined.

The main problem, of course, is that Arkansas isn't exactly in the Southeastern part of the country. Go ahead and take a look at a map and you'll find something fascinating -- every team in the SEC is east of the Mississippi River with the glaring exception of Arkansas.

Actually, this is Big 12 Conference territory and I don't care what anyone says. We've got more in common with Oklahoma, Missouri and Texas than we've ever had with the likes of Alabama, Georgia and Florida and ought to be competing for recruits in our region of the country.

Besides, Arkansas had a rivalry with Texas for years and a lot of fans still nurse a lingering hatred for the Longhorns (I'm odd in that I've always respected that team -- I've got a lot of kin in Texas, so perhaps that explains it).

Arkansas hasn't had a good rivalry since leaving the Southwest Conference and losing that guaranteed, annual game with Texas. It looks like the Hogs are in the SEC for better or worse, of course. Besides, we may be revamping a long-dormant rivalry with Ole Miss.

That is an historical rivalry that both schools kind of put an end to after too many fights were breaking out during the annual game between the two teams. Ole Miss has our old coach now, so perhaps our statewide hatred of Nutt will transfer to the team.

Meanwhile, I figure we'll still be playing for that Golden Boot annually.

One of the best weekends this season for the Arkansas Razorbacks

This weekend was a perfect one for the Arkansas Razorbacks.

Why? Because the team didn't play. Yes, it's a bye week and the struggling Hogs (4-6 overall, 1-5 in the SEC West) got a much needed week off.

Now, I know it sounds cynical to think it's good when your favorite team doesn't have to play. Phooey on that. The Hawg is a pragmatist and there are plenty of practical reasons to see a week off for the Razorbacks as a good thing.

Yes, it's time for the Razorbacks to reflect on the season and figure out what to do next. Let's take a look at what a rotten season it's been. The team started out by barely beating a couple of scrubs -- Western Illinois and Louisiana Monroe. The third game of the season was supposed to be against the Texas Longhorns, but that was postponed due to hurricanes making a mess of the Lone Star State.

Arkansas got slaughtered at home by Alabama the week after that, got absolutely butchered by Texas the next game and then Florida came to town and murdered the Hogs. Thing looked up when the Razorbacks went to Auburn and beat a team that was ranked 20th in the nation at the time.

That victory was followed by a loss against Kentucky and then Ole Miss. The loss to Ole Miss was particularly painful as the Razorbacks had that game won and then blew it. Also, the Razorbacks lost to its former head coach, Houston Nutt -- a man that didn't exactly leave Arkansas under friendly circumstances (a lot of us can't stand him and we'll loathe him for many years to come).

Arkansas rebounded when Tulsa, a team ranked 19th at the time, came to town. That was a victory for the Razorbacks and it came against an offense coached by Gus Malzahn, the former offensive coordinator for Arkansas. Malzahn, by the way, is still thought of highly by a lot of people in this state.

That brings us to last week when Arkansas lost to South Carolina.

So, what's the season been like? The offensive line has been terrible, the defensive secondary is a wreck and the special teams have struggled. The only really bright spot has been running back Michael Smith and he got hurt in the South Carolina game.

Now, here's the deal with the Razorbacks -- if the team wins the next two games, it will be bowl eligible. The next two games are against Mississippi State and LSU. The one against Mississippi State is winnable, whereas the one against LSU will be very difficult.

However, if Arkansas can pull off two more victories and go to a minor bowl, the season will be considered a success. In spite of everything, a bowl appearance is considered to be a major deal in this state.

And, head coach Bobby Petrino could use a bit of success right now. He inherited a team from Nutt that is shy on talent, he caught hell from the national media when he left the Atlanta Falcons to come here and some sports writers out there still hate him.

It's also a fact that Arkansas fans are notoriously fickle. A bowl appearance translates into success and that will make the fact that the Hogs are currently dead last in the SEC West OK.

So, good luck to the Razorbacks in the next two games. Hopefully, this bye week will allow the young team to rest and keep their eye on an bowl appearance.

Arkansas' bowl hopes dim

For a good shot at a bowl game, the Arkansas Razorbacks really needed to beat the South Carolina Gamecocks on Saturday.

That didn't happen. Arkansas lost 21-34 to South Carolina, dropping their record to 4-6 (1-5 in the SEC). South Carolina wound up 7-3 (4-3 in the SEC) after the game.

Of course, the Hogs needed to reach that mystical 6 wins mark to make it to even a crummy bowl. To get there, they'll have to win against both Mississippi State (3-6, 1-4) and LSU (6-3, 3-3 in the SEC).

Arkansas has a shot next week on Nov. 22 when the Hogs travel to Miss State. Arkansas is sixth in the SEC West and Miss State is fifth -- neither team is that good, honestly.

However, LSU comes to Little Rock the day after Thanksgiving to take on the Hogs. Uh, that game is problematic. LSU ought to stomp Arkansas unless those Tigers are so full of turkey that they're slow and falling asleep. Well, Arkansas might pull off a miracle, but that seems unlikely this year. The season hasn't exactly been one filled with miracles, has it?

There was something that came out of the South Carolina game that gives us Hogs fans hope, however. The much maligned Casey Dick did manage to hit receiver Jarius Wright for a 70-yard play that ended in a touchdown. Arkansas hasn't done that yet this year.

There were some concerns, however. Once again, the offensive line was terrible and Dick got sacked six times. When he wasn't getting sack, poor Dick was running for his life. This is a young team so, hopefully, they'll learn a thing or two about pass protection by next season.

That will be too late for Dick, however, as he's a senior.

Also, Michael Smith got hurt. He's the running back that has been the only truly great player on the team this year. Arkansas has a bye week coming up, so let's hope those two weeks give Smith plenty of time to heal and he'll be effective against Miss State.

Now, I know a lot of my fellow Arkansans are complaining about new head coach Bobby Petrino. They need to shut the hell up. Houston Nutt, master recruiter that he is, left Petrino with nothing. Nutt's over in Ole Miss with a very talented team and Petrino is making do at Arkansas.

Give Petrino some time. He'll right the ship soon enough.

I have a feeling that Arkansas will wind up 5-7 and they'll miss out on bowl season. Anyone who knew anything about who would be left on the team this year and that a new coach would be coming in should have known things could wind up like this. You don't lose two outstanding running backs like Darren McFadden (he's playing for the Oakland Raiders now) and Felix Jones (who plays for the Dallas Cowboys) and bounce back quickly.

Meanwhile, here in Benton...

My beloved Benton Panthers took a beating on Thursday and are out of the playoff picture. Benton got stomped by Watson Chapel, 19-57. Watson Chapel isn't that great, currently ranked fifth in the 6A South with a conference record of 3-4 (4-5 overall).

I love high school football (it's a big deal here in Arkansas), but it's been hard to watch Benton this year. The team is just awful.

Now, the 6A South is an eight-team division and six of those teams are going to the playoffs. Benton finished seventh in the league with a conference record of 1-6 (2-8 overall). It's pretty pitiful when you can't even go to the playoffs when six teams in an eight-team division are going. You've got to be pretty rotten to to miss that very big boat, indeed.

Thank God for Little Rock's J.A. Fair. They came in dead last in the division by not winning a game all year. Benton beat them, and the Panthers beat Conway earlier this season.

My dad and I go to almost all of Benton's home games (we're both proud Benton graduates, so we like to see how our alma mater is doing). Neither one of us can remember a time when Benton looked so disorganized, undersized and just plain uncompetitive.

Well, there's always next year, right?

How to make soccer popular in the U.S. (Part 2)

A few days ago, I posted a plan -- a brilliant plan that would make soccer popular in the United States.

If you haven't seen it yet, you need to take a look at it by clicking right here. Why do I say it's a brilliant plan? Because I thought of it in conjunction with my little brother (hereafter referred to as The Defector because he left Arkansas to be an optometrist in North Carolina) and he's smarter than your good friend, The Hawg. He graduated first in his class after earning his degree in chemical engineering from the University of Arkansas and graduated second after earning his optometry degree from Chicago. The kid's smart, so any plan in which he participates is automatically brilliant.

Anyway, I was visiting with The Defector just the other day as he was reviewing The Hawg/The Defector plan for making soccer popular in the U.S. The Defector said it all looked good, but he had a few more suggestions. So, we visited and I, The Hawg, have decided that our additions to the original plan are well worth mentioning. Here's what we came up with:

The XSL

Originally, The Defector and I, The Hawg, had talked about turning our blueprint over to Major League Soccer (MLS), the group that is in charge with pro soccer in the United States. But we realized that MLS was part of the problem -- that group sticks with the brand of soccer that just hasn't gained traction here in America.

No, we need to make soccer popular through a new league. Thus, the concept of the eXtreme Soccer League (XSL) was born. It is very important to have our brilliant plan implemented by a new league for at least a couple of reasons.

Now, the MLS is a league that has stuck to its original game plan in spite of the fact that soccer is now about as popular as the WNBA. That's right. The MLS has been around for 15 years, and soccer is no more popular now than it was back then. The group has failed in its hope to promote soccer and is, therefore, useless. The MLS seems hell bent on sticking with the idea that soccer as it is played in the rest of the world will catch on here.

We don't need the MLS. We don't need a group that would pervert or modify our reforms based on pure stubbornness. And, yes, the MLS is stubborn -- what else would you call a group that hasn't modified its plan in spite of the fact that it is promoting a product that interests almost no one?

Also, there's something to be said for good marketing. This is America, and even no-talent trash like Britney Spears can be successful with good marketing. I, by the way, predicted years ago that Britney's career would hit a wall and she'd be reduced to starring in porn flicks with provocative titles such as Britney Speared to make a living. It turns out I was only half right. That no-talent tart's career has been extended through some great marketing.

Anyway, The Defector and I figured the XSL brand would be an easy thing to market well. For one thing, people just love sports that are "extreme," and we could certainly promote the hell out of that angle. So, we're taking a few cues from the short-lived XFL.

We will approach the XSL differently, although we'll steal some ideas from the XFL. Yes, we'll allow players to put whatever they want on the back of their uniforms. Remember Rod Smart, the running back for Las Vegas? He had "He Hate Me" plastered on the back of his uniform and became an overnight celebrity, as a result. That's pretty cool stuff, and it's exactly the type of thing we'd promote in the XSL.

And you'd better believe we'd have a "He Hate Me" in our new league. There's no doubt about that.

Also, let's not forget that the XFL was competing against a sport that was pretty violent. It simply came up short in the "extreme" department. The XSL, on the other hand, is competing against a sport that's pretty tame, so the extreme nature of the sport will be offered as a clear alternative to the decidedly tame soccer that's available now.

Furthermore, we can demonstrate the differences in our soccer by running marketing campaigns that touch on the idea that the "XS stands for eXceSsive violence." That's a winner, kids.

The two-point line

What's the most exciting development in the NBA over the past couple of decades? The three-point line. That has led to more points and the emphasis on drafting players who can hit a shot from beyond that line. The game, as a result, has become more exciting.

Ah, The Hawg/The Defector improvements call for something almost as exciting -- the two-point line. Yes, just imagine the thrill. Your team is down by 1 point and the end of the game draws near. Suddenly, He Hate Me takes the ball down the field, holds up just beyond the two-point line, kicks the ball and scores a goal, thus securing a win for the Central Arkansas Butt Kickers. The crowd goes wild!

What could be better than that? A two-point line would be invaluable to a game in which scoring is rare. It would add a whole new dimension to the game! Ah, that's an innovation, to be sure.

Conclusion

Give us a chance. We'll change soccer and make it more popular in the United States. We promise!

If you haven't done so already, check out Part 1 of this nonsense by clicking right here.

Arkansas loses -- again

Yes, it's true -- the Arkansas Razorbacks lost to the Ole Miss Rebels on Saturday by the score of 23-21.

That puts Arkansas' record at 3-5 (1-4 in the SEC) and Ole Miss at 4-4 (2-3 in the SEC). I won't even pretend to claim this was a monumental battle in the SEC West because the truth is that both teams suck this year and are going nowhere. If you want to read a detailed report of this game, you can find a good recap right here.

No, what' s more important is that this game marked the return of Arkansas' immediate head coach, Houston Nutt, to the Natural State. Nutt, by the way, is that charming figure in all his glory in the photo at the top of this post.

Nutt was here for 10 years and a lot of us in this state came to hate him. He was replaced by Bobby Petrino who is busily dealing with the mess Nutt left. Petrino has a young team with a shaky quarterback, a secondary that lacks confidence and an offensive line that is porous on a good day.

What irritated me last year when the buzzards were circling around Nutt and has bugged me over the past week is that there are still members of the press who feel bad for poor, picked on Houston. The worst of the lot remains Gregg Doyel, who's latest bit of ass-kissery can be found right here.

Comments from Doyel and his ilk reinforce my notion that people who are wholly unfamiliar with a situation ought to shut the hell up about it. Frankly, I'm glad we're rid of a coach who comes across as a subliterate hick every time he opens his fat mouth, manages to lose bowl games to scrubby teams such as UNLV (the Hogs completely folded in 2000 in the Las Vegas bowl against that team) and consistently kept Arkansas in the middle of the pack in the SEC.

Most of the Nutt apologists seem to hit on the issue that Arkansas kind of sucks, so we're fools to expect to do well at anything. In other words, Nutt might not be great, but he's the best we can do so we should have been nicer to him. Yes, we hear things such as "Nutt did less with more" from his defenders, and I'm sick of it.

I'm sick of it for a couple of reasons. First of all, Fayetteville isn't a backwater and is, in fact, a very nice, small Southern city. I'm certain it's as least as great a place to be as Lincoln, Neb., or Norman, Okla., but you didn't see the colleges in those towns settle for second best. No, the universities of Nebraska and Oklahoma built solid programs because they wanted solid programs and didn't give a damn about where those colleges were located. Top-notch players line up to go to Oklahoma and lined up at one time to go to Nebraska because they were winning programs that were nationally competitive.

There's no reason Arkansas can't establish a winning tradition, as well. The University of Arkansas simply wasn't going to get there with Nutt. He couldn't recruit worth a damn and he's a fair-to-middling coach at best.

Less with more? Let me explain that sentiment away like this. Arkansas had the best backfield in the nation last year with Darren McFadden and Felix Jones. The Hogs went nowhere with those two backs, who are rookies in the NFL and have turned heads this year.

Nutt replaced Ed Orgeron at Ole Miss, a coach who couldn't win games but could recruit extremely well. Ole Miss is loaded with more talent than that school has seen for years, yet the team is 2-3 in the SEC and just had trouble pulling off a win over the worst Razorbacks club in terms of talent and experience that has taken the field in over a decade.

And that, folks, is why Nutt was run out of the state. His teams will pull of an upset every now and again, but he'll never coach a consistent, upper-tier team in the SEC or any other major conference.

The national sports writers that are in love with the guy need to shut their damned mouths about Nutt's history at Arkansas. We're well rid of him, and we don't need anyone to tell us we made a mistake. We didn't. We're right, they're wrong and they need to keep their noses out of our business.

To read about one of the few Benton Panthers' victories this season, go right here!

Hogs lose a heartbreaker

Everyone but the most deluded Arkansas Razorbacks fans knew that the Hogs were going to have a terrible season.

That knowledge didn't make the Hogs' 21-20 loss to Kentucky on Saturday any easier. Why? The Razorbacks had that game won -- the team had a 13 point lead with 5 minutes left in the game and blew it.

That's right -- the team absolutely folded and Kentucky won. How the hell do you blow a 13-point lead in the last few minutes of a game?

Folks, it's almost too much for The Hawg to take. Arkansas has been rotten this year, but that Kentucky game hurt more than than the drubbings the Hogs have taken at the hands of Alabama, Florida and Texas combined. To make things worse, Arkansas looked decent against Auburn last week, so a lot of us were hoping the young Razorbacks were finally coming around and learning how to play a little football.

Simply put, the Razorbacks (3-4, 1-3 in the SEC) failed and gave the Kentucky Wildcats (5-2, 1-2 in the SEC) their first conference victory. It would appear, then, that the Wildcats were very wise in scheduling Arkansas for the homecoming game.

The most revealing thing about the game is just how much former head coach Houston Nutt emphasized the running game. Folks, running back Michael Smith is the Razorbacks' offense. How solid was Smith? He rushed for 192 yards and a touchdown and received for 33 yards and a touchdown. That's 225 total yards and 2 touchdowns -- not bad when you consider the rest of the offense contributed 105 yards and two field goals.

Now, here's the kicker. Smith is now listed as day-to-day due to a concussion he sustained while being run to death in the Kentucky game. There's a chance he might not be able to play on Saturday. Without Smith, the Hogs are done.

Anyway, back to the Kentucky game. Struggling quarterback Casey Dick threw for 94 yards, a touchdown and two interceptions. Thanks to the dreadful offensive line, Dick was sacked three times and was hurried into at least one of those interceptions.

It was a hard game to watch. The offensive line seems adept at opening up holes for Smith, but can't protect Dick (yeah, I chuckled when writing that -- it's true in both a figurative and literal sense). Nutt went and recruited players for a running offense and it shows.

Did anything good come out of Saturday's game. Actually, yes. Petrino may have finally found a field goal kicker in Shay Haddock, who managed to boot a couple of balls through the uprights on Saturday. Perhaps Petrino has solved that problem.

Also, the team is improving. We've got a bunch of kids on that team who were playing high school ball this time last year, and that bunch almost beat Kentucky on Saturday and did manage to beat Auburn the previous week.

Here's hoping the team is very improved, indeed, when Houston Nutt and Ole Miss come to Fayetteville next week. Of course, we all hate Houston Nutt and, fortunately, Ole Miss plays like a Nutt-coached team. Ole Miss, having lost to Alabama on Saturday, is also 1-3 in the SEC. I hope Arkansas stomps Nutt into the ground.

I also hope Arkansas fans boo Nutt throughout the entire game and throw garbage at him. It's better than he deserves.

Next year the Hogs will be better. Still, watching this team struggle through the current season is difficult, indeed. I'm certain this season has increased liquor sales at package stores around the state.

My beloved Benton Panthers aren't holding up too well, either. Read all about it right here.