I was certain that Dr. Zodiac wouldn’t turn in a horoscope this week. Saturday came and went with no word from the good doctor and the same went for Sunday.
On Monday, however, the mysterious Dr. Zodiac got in touch and delivered both a horoscope and a tale of woe. Yes, it seems Ms. Zodiac got tired of the doctor not having a “real job,” so she threw him out on the mean streets of Little Rock on Friday.
So, he went wandering and, eventually, grew tired. He found himself a cozy park bench near the Clinton Library, fell asleep and was promptly beaten and robbed by a gang of thugs. After recovering from his injuries enough to move on, he found a comfortable spot near the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette building on East Capitol and Scott and was (you guessed it) beaten up again. The beating was considerably more severe that time around as Dr. Zodiac had already been robbed and the new set of assailants became angry because he had no money to steal.
He wound up getting a good night’s sleep a Baptist Medical Center and, more importantly, had access to the want ads in the Democrat-Gazette. We’re proud to report that, by Monday, Dr. Zodiac landed a position as an astronomy professor (yes, he does have a doctorate) at a local educational facility that will remain nameless as the faculty there frowns on the “junk science” of astrology.
At any rate, I’m glad to hear Dr. Zodiac has landed on his feet and has turned in a horoscope even if it is late. While I do believe the good doctor’s current horoscope (or StarCast, as he calls it) has been tainted by his recent experiences, he assures me that every entry comes – as usual – directly from the stars. You can be the judge of that.