Here we go with another horoscope – the most accurate one on the planet, in fact.
Why is it so accurate? Because these brilliant things are provided by Dr. Zodiac, our in-house soothsayer, stargazer and general purpose mystic. Dr. Zodiac, see, talks directly to the stars and he has learned something very important about them over the years – they hate our guts and strive to make us miserable. Still, he has their ears and they reveal their plans to him weekly. Incredible? You’d better believe it, ace.
By the way, Dr. Zodiac keeps insisting that we call his bits of wisdom StarCasts rather than mere horoscopes. He’s been vetoed for obvious commercial reasons.
Regardless, let’s see what those mean ole stars have in store for us this week, shall we?