Saturday, July 18, 2015
The mascot, which cost $2,500 to produce, is simply named “Ben.” He is supposed to be a businessman who will be trotted out at various events and economic development opportunities (no, I’m not real sure what that means and I’m not sure that anyone else does, either).
I’ll avoid the argument that suggests folks in this town already identify with the Panther – the Benton High School mascot – well enough to render poor old Ben redundant at best. Instead, I’d like to suggest a few ideas for mascots that are about as inappropriate and creepy as a balding businessman with arms growing out of the sides of his head. Here goes:
* Ben Ton – he’s a big, fat guy that weighs 2,000 pounds. A ton. Ben. Ton. Get it? Heh, heh!
* Genghis Fonz – sure, he’s a bloodthirsty killer but he’s also also as cool as they come. He can thrill audiences by showing off his finely honed combat skills as well as jumping over parked cars at the Sonic on his horse on Friday nights.
* Black Hitler – the names says it all.
There you go, and I’m willing to license any of those mascots to the city for a mere $100.