Friday, November 14, 2008

Clinton might become Obama's secretary!

Good news, everyone!

According to a report from CNN, Hillary Clinton might become Barack Obama's secretary.

As an Arkansan, I couldn't be happier. Clinton does have some Arkansas ties and I wish her well, even if she does hate 95 percent of the people who live in this state.

A lot of us remember Clinton from back in those days when she wore glasses that were half the size of her head, still went by her maiden name of "Rodham" and used her super shyster skills to defend Tyson Foods when they were polluting lakes and streams in Arkansas. Hillary, you've come a long way, baby!

Who would have guessed that Clinton would be on the verge of becoming a president's secretary? Indeed, she could make Obama's coffee, schedule his appointments, answer his phone, take dictation (a term that took on a whole new meaning when Bill Clinton was president) and all those other secretarial things.

And remember back during the primaries when Hillary kept talking about answering that 3 a.m. phone call? Remember her claiming Obama didn't have the experience to deal with that phone call?

With Hillary around, that phone call might now even be Obama's problem. As president, he'll need a good night's sleep so he could let Hillary screen his calls for him and order her to get in touch if it's something important. If its just the ambassador from Derkaderkastan calling in an opium-induced rage or a prank call from Osama bin Laden, Hillary can take care of it. There's no reason to bother the president with something so trivial, is there?

Now, an Associated Press story states that Obama is also thinking about hiring Bill Richardson as his secretary. I hope not. Hillary has a much nicer phone voice and projects a more professional image.

Also, I hear that Obama hasn't forgotten about John McCain. The rumor is that he's thinking about hiring his former rival as the White House gardener. Good luck, McCain!


Remember when Joe Biden warned that Obama would be tested by the International community shortly after the new president took office? I, The Hawg, have possibly figured out what that test might be.

Call me crazy, but I do believe the Soviet Union will invade Georgia again in order to test Obama's resolve.

That will, truly, test Obama's claims that he will do his best to represent each and every American. Georgia, after all, was firmly in the McCain camp on election day.

If Joe Stalin and his wild Soviets invade Georgia, will Obama send troops to Atlanta or be spiteful and just let the Russians keep it? Here's hoping Obama does the right thing and kicks those reds out of Georgia.


pamibe said...

My first laugh of the morning! ;)

Matt said...

Hawg, thanks for a great laugh to start off my day. I love the 3:00 a.m. phone call reference, since it was such a joke in the campaign.

I think Georgia will be okay without Obama sending in the U.S. military, though. Remember, there are a lot of gun-toting clinging to their religion kind of folks down there in the swamps of Georgia, so they can handle an invasion by the Ruskies.

feefifoto said...

Hawg, thanks for the laugh! As far as I'm concerned, Russia can have Georgia. I hate those Braves and Falcons. said...

After all the animosity between Hillary and Obama in the primaries, this will be interesting to see how it plays out, indeed.

Karen said...

Ha! Good ones.

Barry Ritz said...

On the plus side, this will help to heal the wounds within the Democratic Camp.

I guess Hilary will accept but it is for Obama to decide.

The Natural State Hawg said...

Pam -- Glad I could help!

Matt -- I think you're exactly right. They don't need any of that government interference in Georgia.

I just had to put in that reference. Hillary used that whenever she could. Now, wouldn't it be a hoot if she was picking up those phone calls for the purpose of screening them for the president?


feefifoto -- Ah, but those crafty reds could use that as a staging area to attack parts of the country that Obama does care about. Ah, but no one in the government seems to have that kind of foresight these days.

Karen -- Thanks! I had a lot of fun with that. I particularly enjoyed abusing Obama's "yes we can" slogan a couple of times.

Paul -- Now, having Hillary answering phones and making coffee for the president should resolve that animosity. She'd have an important job!

barry -- Of course it would. Hillary would be the gatekeeper. Heck, having her schedule Obama's appointments and pick up his dry cleaning is critical to helping keep the president focused on solving the nation's problems.

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