Yes, indeed! In just a couple of hours I, The Hawg, will be heading up to northwest Arkansas with the wife, the kids and our incredibly spoiled dog to spend Thanksgiving with my in-laws.What does that mean? Well it means I'll be offline for a few days. I won't be dropping Entrecards on this blog or The All Arkie Army, either (hopefully, some of my fellow Army members will be posting some new stuff over there, however).
I'll be back with my usual nonsense this weekend. I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving and I have just the joke that will make each and every one of you a hit at your family gatherings for the holiday.
Before I begin the joke, I should mention it's partially visual -- when you get to the point about the pig farmer and his kid weighing a swine, make sure to act like you're clinching the tail of the pig between your teeth, spread your arms out and act all scale-like. So, without further ado:
Pork for Thanksgiving
Once upon a time, a fellow decided he would have pork instead of turkey for Thanksgiving one year. Wanted fresh pork, so he went to a pig farm to purchase his swine.
The pig farmer greeted him at the farm and the fellow told him that he thought a 40-pound pig would suit his needs perfectly. The pig farmer looked around his farm a bit and grabbed a pig. The farmer put the pig's tale between his teeth, spread his arms out and weighed the pig.
"Mister, that's about a 40-pound pig right there," the pig farmer said.
"Wait a minute," the shopper replied. "There's no way you can weigh a pig like that!"
"If you don't believe me, I'll get my son over here. He can weigh this pig, too."
The pig farmer's son was raking leaves just a bit away.
"Boy! Get over here and weigh this pig for this fella!"
"Yes, dad," the kid said as he ran over to the farmer and the shopper.
The kid picked up the pig (he struggled a bit with it because he was a little fellow), stuck the tail between his teeth, spread his arms out and weighed the pig.
"That pig weighs 40 pounds and 5 ounces," the kid said.
"You see? It works," the pig farmer said. "The boy's a little more accurate than I am, though."
The shopper still wasn't convinced.
"I still say no one can weigh a pig like that."
"OK, mister. My wife can do it, too. Boy, go get your mother and tell her to come down here and weigh this pig," the pig farmer said.
The boy ran up the path to the farmhouse and then ran back -- without his mother.
"Where's your mother, boy?"
"She's busy, pa."
"Busy doing what?"
"She's weighing the milkman!"
Y'all have a great Thanksgiving and, if you're traveling, be safe!
Black Friday Sales
The day after Thanksgiving, my wife and her mother will get up far to early and head out to all the Black Friday sales. I, The Hawg, hope to still be sleeping soundly as I hate crowds, particularly when they're full of angry shoppers.
You can avoid all that wildness, too, and still save money by shopping over at Amazon.com during their Black Friday Sales zaniness.
If you want to vote on what items should be sold for insane prices, go right here and take part in that promotion through Dec. 4. I've voted. My wife has voted, too. I'll never pass up the chance to save money.
Good luck!
The pig farmer greeted him at the farm and the fellow told him that he thought a 40-pound pig would suit his needs perfectly. The pig farmer looked around his farm a bit and grabbed a pig. The farmer put the pig's tale between his teeth, spread his arms out and weighed the pig.
"Mister, that's about a 40-pound pig right there," the pig farmer said.
"Wait a minute," the shopper replied. "There's no way you can weigh a pig like that!"
"If you don't believe me, I'll get my son over here. He can weigh this pig, too."
The pig farmer's son was raking leaves just a bit away.
"Boy! Get over here and weigh this pig for this fella!"
"Yes, dad," the kid said as he ran over to the farmer and the shopper.
The kid picked up the pig (he struggled a bit with it because he was a little fellow), stuck the tail between his teeth, spread his arms out and weighed the pig.
"That pig weighs 40 pounds and 5 ounces," the kid said.
"You see? It works," the pig farmer said. "The boy's a little more accurate than I am, though."
The shopper still wasn't convinced.
"I still say no one can weigh a pig like that."
"OK, mister. My wife can do it, too. Boy, go get your mother and tell her to come down here and weigh this pig," the pig farmer said.
The boy ran up the path to the farmhouse and then ran back -- without his mother.
"Where's your mother, boy?"
"She's busy, pa."
"Busy doing what?"
"She's weighing the milkman!"
Y'all have a great Thanksgiving and, if you're traveling, be safe!
Black Friday Sales
The day after Thanksgiving, my wife and her mother will get up far to early and head out to all the Black Friday sales. I, The Hawg, hope to still be sleeping soundly as I hate crowds, particularly when they're full of angry shoppers.
You can avoid all that wildness, too, and still save money by shopping over at Amazon.com during their Black Friday Sales zaniness.
If you want to vote on what items should be sold for insane prices, go right here and take part in that promotion through Dec. 4. I've voted. My wife has voted, too. I'll never pass up the chance to save money.
Good luck!
8 comments:
30 years on this planet and i didn't see the bj joke coming...
a happy thanksgiving to you and yours sir.
Very funny, Hawg! Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family. Say, where in NW Arkansas? I went to school at Subiaco Academy. Ever heard of it? Just east of Paris, AR?
Chris -- Happy Thanksgiving to you, as well.
I didn't see the BJ joke coming when I first heard that one, either. That may because the fellow who told it to us in college drug it out for about 10 minutes.
When he finally got around to the punchline, I thought it was the funniest thing I'd ever heard...
Matt -- We're in Springdale right now. I've heard of Subiaco Academy, certainly! Dated a woman from Paris for awhile. Neat town. I never realized we had that many Catholics in the entire state.
Hi, I'm from Arkansas as well! Nice to "meet" you! Feel free to visit if you'd like. I saw you on Marvelous Misadventures of one SAHM's blog roll.
Jennifer
Happy Thanksgiving; hope y'all have a great time with the family!
Y'all have a fun and safe journey to the in laws. The Amazon Black Friday Sales are really a good deal overall. I've been checking them out closely. Since, like you, I hate crowds well, it's online shopping for me.
Hi Hawg! I hope you and your family had a nice Thanksgiving and a good visit with the in-laws. I'm like you on Black Friday...sleeping in! :) I don't really like shopping much and I'm definitely anti-crowd. Have a great holiday weekend!
Ughh! First the Saints, now LSU. I hang my head in shame...
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