Norris and The Nuge for president?

When I'm driving to my office in Little Rock from my home in Benton, I generally listen to our local news radio station, KARN 102.9 FM/AM 920.

That's about a 30-minute commute, so I've got plenty of time to listen to the news of the day. While I was listening yesterday, I heard a live phone interview with Chuck Norris in which he talked about all things political and mentioned his new book, Black Belt Patriotism.

Yes, Norris went and wrote a book in which he discusses the problems facing the country and offered up some solutions for them. Have I read the book yet? No, but rest assured that I will (and I'll write all about it when I do). I did check out the description on Amazon.com, and here's what I found:

"Martial arts master, actor, and political activist--there is no job Chuck Norris can't do. Now the original tough guy is at it again, stepping back into the role of bestselling author with his new book, Black Belt Patriotism. In Black Belt Patriotism Norris gives a no-holds-barred assessment of American culture, tackling everything from family values to national security. More than a cultural critique of what's wrong with our nation, Black Belt Patriotism provides real solutions for solving our problems, moving our country forward, and changing our nation's course for the better. Chuck Norris--the hero, icon, and legend--is back, packing a political and cultural punch, as only he can deliver."

Who could resist that, right? I looked around and noticed that none other than that wild Ted Nugent had also written a right-leaning political book called Ted White and Blue: The Nugent Manifesto:

"Straight from the Motor-City Madman comes the wildest, most politically incorrect book yet. In The Nugent Manifesto, rocker/hunter extraordinaire Ted Nugent is taking aim and setting his sights on our country. In his trademark unapologetic style, Nugent will praise God, guns, and red-blooded, full-throated Americanism against pantywaist politicians, nanny-state judges, and tofu-eating Obamamaniacs, calling on readers to 'Roll up your damn sleeves, sharpen your crowbars, and think hardcore.' The Nugent Manifesto follows up his New York Times bestseller God, Guns, and Rock 'N' Roll and his wildly successful cookbook, Kill It & Grill It. Look out America, 'The Nuge' is back--and with a whole new arsenal of 'Tedisms' ready for launch!"

"Full-throated Americanism?" Yeah, I'll probably pick that one up, too. Expect a review. One of these days.

Why would I want to pick those books up? Because I'm willing to bet they're both a hoot, that's why. Yes, there are some that might argue that both of those books are "anti intellectual" and should be avoided. However, the people who would make those arguments are probably among the people who made that moron Michael Moore rich and don't flinch when that dunderheaded Al Gore files all over the planet preaching his gospel that suggests that the world is being ruined by people who do things like hopping in jets and flying all over the planet (let's see you row boats and hop on bicycles if you want us to take you seriously, Al). So screw 'em.

At any rate, both of those books got me thinking. They were both written and published prior to the election so I'll assume that both Norris and Nugent could tell there were a lot of disgruntled conservatives out there because we really didn't have a candidate this year -- Barack Obama is, well, Barack Obama and John McCain simply isn't a small government, fiscal conservative (pushing for that $700 billion bailout for the financial industry is proof of that).

I've noticed, too, that Norris did endorse Mike Huckabee, the former governor of Arkansas and an alleged Republican. I won't hold that against old Chuck as he's been pretty solid the rest of the time.

Norris has also spent a lot of time advocating for the formation of a populist third party. I love the idea of a third party as I'm convinced neither Republicans or Democrats are worth a damn at representing the bulk of the electorate.

That got me to thinking. How about the Chuck Norris/Ted Nugent dream ticket in 2012? They couldn't make things any worse than they already are or how they will be when Obama and his miscreants are done. Besides, Norris' wacky calls to return to the vision of the nation's founding fathers and pay attention to what the Constitution says from time to time might do a lot of good.

A Norris/Nugent ticket may sound nuts on the surface, but think about it. That's the kind of thing that could happen in today's political climate. After all, we just put a man in office because he taught a bunch of angry voters whipped into a frenzy with vacuous slogans like "we want change," "we want hope," "we want to realize our dreams" and (my favorite) "yes we can!"

You want slogans? Try this on for size -- "Vote for Norris/Nugent if you want to see your country swagger rather than swish." Ah, yeah! How do you like them apples, bucko?

Also, we learned from the Obama campaign that distributing posters which featured the prospective leader looking eerily like Latin American Marxist Che Guevara generated plenty of excitement.

Want some propaganda to inspire the masses? How about a poster featuring Nugent radiating with energy and bravely triumphing over a dragon (or something both terrifying and cool) that represents an economic recession? The slogan could be something along the lines of "The Nuge vs. The Economy." Yeah, that'll pack them in.

What got me thinking along these lines? That Norris interview on KARN and a conversation I had with a friend of mine about 15 years ago. He said he should run for office and base his campaign around a single slogan -- "Free booze and hookers!" That would be his answer to every question and he'd plaster that slogan all over billboards. In the case of a debate, he would simply let his opponent make a detailed argument, then he'd walk up to the microphone, yell his slogan and watch the crowd go nuts.

I told him he was crazy. After this year's set of elections, it's become pretty obvious that getting attention by offering people something they want -- however vague that might be -- translates into votes. Furthermore, celebrity appeal is important. If you happen to be a rock star, that might be even better.