There are times when it's time to stand up, look the kaiser straight in the monocle and say, "Nien!"
And, yes, I'm aware I stole that line from Mr. Burns on The Simpsons.
Folks, this is one of those times. For about a year now, I've been missing IHOP's boysenberry syrup. Yes, IHOP has removed the iconic boysenberry syrup from their tables.
I've been waiting for it to come back, but I'm afraid it's all in vain. I do ask about it from time to time and get the same response from the waitresses at the IHOP here in Benton, Ark. -- the restaurant chain has removed boysenberry syrup and it's not coming back. Ever.
Your good friend, The Hawg, can take a lot of things. Oh, I can stand my beloved Benton Panthers struggling away and can even tolerate the Arkansas Razorbacks playing like absolute garbage.
But choking down a stack of pancakes covered with some miserable trash like plain old maple syrup, that nasty butter pecan, blueberry or even strawberry is simply more than I can take. An IHOP pancake without wonderful, wonderful boysenberry syrup is like a dog without fur or a bicycle without a chain. It's just plain wrong. WRONG!
However, we still live in a consumer-driven economy and, as such, we have the power to change the minds of those people at IHOP who decided to cruelly do away with that wonderful boysenberry syrup. Yes, people -- you and I don't have to sit back and let this happen.
"But, The Hawg. I, too, am upset about IHOP's cruel actions. Maple is far too common and that butter pecan is just nasty. What can I do about it? I'm only one person?"
What can you do? Let IHOP know how you feel! Just click right here, pick the appropriate area of IHOP to send an e-mail to and fill out the form. Here's a copy of the e-mail I sent mere moments ago:
"I've been patiently waiting for about a year for IHOP to wise up and bring back that fantastic, iconic boysenberry syrup. Where's my boysenberry? If I have to choke down another stack of pancakes covered with common maple, blueberry, strawberry or that wretched butter pecan, I may lose my mind.
Besides, it's just sad that we're on the verge of raising an entire generation that won't get to experience the joys of boysenberry. That's a shame, folks. A true shame.
Please bring back boysenberry. Do it for my sanity. Do it for the children."
Ah, yeah! That ought to get some response, huh?
I hope everyone reading this will join me in asking IHOP to bring back boysenberry. Together, we can make a difference.