Friday, December 5, 2008

Two parades and a lawyer joke

Over the past week, I've been to two Christmas parades here in Saline County, Ark., and we didn't get any decent pictures of them at all.

The one I posted here is grainy but it's not half bad. I took it with the new cell phone I got after I smashed my old one. I'll mention more about my daughter's photo in a bit.

On Monday, we had the annual Christmas parade here in Benton. That was great fun and, like every year, I came close to freezing to death before it was over. Watching Santa Claus waving to the crowd from a fire engine is always a thrill, and the classic cars in the parade were fantastic (I can't figure out why a brand new Ford F-150 came right after a 1967 Pontiac Firebird, however).

Sadly, my daughter wasn't in that one, but she was in the parade in Bryant. Yes, this year marked the first for the Bryant parade and my daughter's Brownie troop was in that one. They were dressed up as cookies and young Brenda had the privilege of portraying the superior lemon cookie.

The girls rode in a trailer and spent all night chanting before launching into Christmas carols.

Are we proud to be Girl Scouts?
Yes we are!
Are you going to buy some cookies?
Yes you are!

Great stuff. Yes, cookie sales start next month and my daughter is excited. I didn't have much to do with cookie sales last time around and I probably won't this year, either. In fact, I do believe I've been pretty well prohibited from giving her any advice at all when it comes to selling anything.

Why? Young Brenda had to sell nuts and candy this fall and I had a brilliant marketing scheme worked out for her. I was going to have her knock on doors and say, "My daddy says if I don't sell more stuff, I won't get a Christmas."

Who could resist that pitch? My wife told me I was terrible.

So my wife forgot her camera for the Benton parade and the batteries went dead for the Bryant one. Thank goodness for the rotten little camera on my new (and equally rotten) cell phone, I suppose.

A lawyer joke

It appears that winter has finally reached Arkansas. I hate winter because I wind up doing things like freezing during parades. It it gets much below 50 degrees, I tend to want to just stay indoors. I'm Southern and, as such, hot and humid summers don't phase me but I can't stand cold weather.

I've got the perfect lawyer joke and I'll share that with you good folks right now. Here it goes:

The Hawg: It's cold out there.

You: How cold is it?

The Hawg: So cold that I went uptown and the lawyers had their hands in their own pockets!

Go tell that one to your friends. Tell it to a lawyer you love (or loathe), too.

8 comments: said...

Hawg, tomorrow evening is the annual Christmas parade in downtown Conway. I'm excited, because we will be taking our 20 month old son, Brady, to see the sights, sounds and Santa.

It ought to be a grand time!

Sherry said...

Oh, surely you're going to help sell cookies, aren't you?

Hillbilly Willy said...

Willy sold cookies for a few years, daughter is now married and don't sell cookies anymore.

Willy found the easiest thing is to just buy a whole bunch yourself and take them to the office.

10-4 Willy

Karen said...

Oh how cute! I would love to see a picture of her dressed as a cookie. I can't imagine what that looks like. I was never a good inventor of costumes.

Yummm GS cookies. said...

I LOVE Girl Scout cookies! Yummmmm! My favorites are Thin Mints and Samoas. The cell phone shot of your daughter 'portraying the superior lemon cookie' is really cute. We're going to Conway's Christmas Parade tonight.

I laughed reading your marketing strategy for your daughter. Bless her little heart. She's smart not to listen to your advice regarding her Girl Scout cookie sales!

Like you, Hawg, I hate cold weather. I don't just hate it, I despise it. I haven't checked the forecast yet but I'll probably freeze my butt off tonight. Have a great weekend! :)

Da Old Man said...

50 degrees is cold? I keep telling the Mrs we need a winter home in Arkansas.

Check the rest of the troop, I'm sure someone has a nice photo of the "superior lemon cookie."

roentarre said...

This is soooo funny. I love it!

The Natural State Hawg said...

Paul -- I hope y'all enjoyed it. First parade for young Brady?

Sherry -- I'll try to get some folks at the office to buy some. I'll make sure to distribute the order forms with a picture of Brenda looking sad on them -- caption it with something like, "Please buy some cookies. I want to smile again."

That ought to do it!

Hillbilly Willy -- I'm not that nice. If they want some cookies, they need to buy them.

By the way, Willy, Conway isn't that far from Benton. Want to get in your cookie orders now?

Karen -- Well, I grabbed that shot in a hurry and with a rotten cell phone. I didn't really take my time with it...

Laura -- My daughter is getting wiser, indeed. That's going to be one sarcastic, tough-minded little girl by the time I'm done.

I hope y'all didn't freeze too much at the parade. I'm Southern by birth and, as such, hate the cold.

Da Old Man -- One thing I love about this state is that 50+ days aren't uncommon during the winter. This year, however, it's been horribly cold quite frequently. I hate it when the temp gets down in the 30s.

Yeah, get a winter home in Arkansas. The low home prices will amaze you.

I figure on getting some photos from the troop leader on Monday. I'll post what I get!

roentarre -- Thanks! I used to worry about mentally scarring the kids. I don't anymore. They seem to have a good time.