Sunday, February 22, 2009

M&M'S Premiums aren't half bad

I've always hated M&M'S.

Now, to be fair, I'm not a big fan of milk chocolate. Most of it tastes like cheap chocolate with something to hide. M&M'S tastes like the manufacturers found the cheapest milk chocolate on the planet, spruced it up with a candy shell that comes in various colors and inflicted it on an unsuspecting public. I've always considered M&M'S to be the Chicken McNuggets of the candy world in that I'd probably get physically ill if I knew what was really used to make the stuff.

When I learned that M&M'S were developed during World War II to give to American troops, I assumed that meant the Nazis developed them to stuff down prisoners of war. I'm still not convinced that isn't the case.

Hey, you can wrap substandard milk chocolate in a candy shell all you want and it still tastes like garbage. Go ahead and add a peanut in the center and you've still got low grade milk chocolate surrounded by a candy shell that just tastes like "sweet" and nothing else. The only thing more disgusting than a bunch of M&M'S is a sack full of the slightly more noxious Reese's Pieces (made popular by the lead character in E.T. the Extraterrestrial, another hated product of junk culture).

M&M'S have always been vile, but I found some the other day that aren't half bad -- M&M'S Premiums. I've actually found myself enjoying the Mocha and Raspberry Almond varieties of the stuff. I found some on sale at Kroger's yesterday and picked up a box. I still hate the standard M&M'S, but these Premiums things are pretty good.

The only drawback I can see to these things is that the old slogan -- "They melt in your mouth, not in your hand" -- doesn't really apply. That's OK, though, because they taste just fine.

Besides, that famous slogan is rather a lie, anyway. I've seen more than one kid with various colors melted to his hand after going through a bag of M&M'S. Everything about the standard M&M is a big, fat lie. The Premiums, however, are very impressive. Give them a shot.

10 comments:

Unknown said...

I'd like M&Ms in dark chocolate. Yum!

Anonymous said...

They do melt in your hands. And all over your carpet etc etc. Just give Mini Bug a small bag and watch the damage she can do with them.

I bought a bag of the mint m&m's over xmas to make cookies. Not bad.

Da Old Man said...

The M&M mint are really good, too.

Anonymous said...

I love M&M's :(

Paul Eilers said...

Hawg,

Raggin' on M&Ms? What's next, Snickers?

By the way, what do they have available at the Benton games that you find yourself indulging on?

Paul

Eat Well. Live Well.
PurpleGreenPops.com

Stunatra said...

I like M&Ms and especially Reese's Pieces. The one's with the peanuts in the center are good too...

Anonymous said...

I agree, the milk chocolate aren't that great.

The dark chocolate m&m's are so much better!

I am so glad they came out with those. I don't eat m&m's often, but when I do, I only get the dark chocolate. mmmmm!

The premium melt more because they are premium chocolate: higher meltability. I don't think that is a word, but it should be!

~Kelly
http://www.30somethingandsearching.today.com/

HawgWyld said...

Sherry -- That's because dark chocolate is superior to that low-grade "milk" stuff.

spicybugs -- You've just pointed out one of the reasons I hate those things so much. Kids make a mess with them.

Da Old Man -- Didn't try those...

Sadie -- A lot of people do. I fear I'm the oddball in my seething hatred of them...

Paul -- That would be a good old hamburger -- grilled right there at the game.

And, yeah, Snickers stink, too ;)

Stunatra -- Wow. I hate both of those!

Kelly -- I agree, and "meltability" should be a word!

Anonymous said...

One thing the Hawg doesn't tell you is that he's a very picky eater. Now he will tell you he's not, but as the woman who cooks for him everyday he is. And he just doesn't know what is good. I like M&M's and Reese's pieces, so it's not hard for me to get candy and not have to share with the Hawg. And anything he doesn't like was either invented by the Natzi's or came from the devil. After 10 years of marriage I am use to it.

Mrs. The Hawg.

HawgWyld said...

Mrs. The Hawg -- I can't believe you'd come out and be this mean in public.

I'm also amazed you've willing referred to yourself as "Mrs. The Hawg." I would have referred to you as such before, but I figure I'd get smacked for it.