My 12-year-old son, Michael, is in the sixth grade.
This year, he made the honor roll and learned today that he is in advanced band next year. Oh, and he also won a math award this year and has been assigned to every available advanced placement class next year.
The kid is an inspiration. Why? Because he's proven that a student can spend roughly half the year in the vice principal's office and still do well in school.
Am I exaggerating? A bit, of course, but this year he's been paddled, suspended, sent to detention hall, sent to Saturday school and has generally raised hell.
Oh, there have been many incidents this year, but the best (worst?) of the lot involved him pulling an Eric Cartman routine on a kid. Yes, we've tried to keep the kid away from South Park, but it appears we've failed as young Michael flipped off a kid this year and yelled "suck my balls!" at him.
That whole incident put me in a terrible position. That's funny as hell, but I couldn't exactly pat Michael on the back, could I? That's one of those times I had to do my parental duty of telling the boy I was disappointed in him for behaving in such a manner.
I should have known what we were in for back when Michael was in kindergarten. He was at recess going across the monkey bars when two older kids started to mess with him. He kicked one in the face then jumped on the other kid and started beating on him.
And this child is an honor student? Believe it. His teachers have been routinely frustrated by him as he's misbehaved, corrected them when they've gotten facts wrong, disrupted more than a few lectures and he still keeps those grades high with little effort.
No, Michael simply won't sit down, shut up and do what he's told. He may well grow up to be something other than a corporate drone, lackey or whipping boy one day. I can't help but think that's not altogether bad.
Go get 'em, kid.
A joke in poor taste?
I told my wife a joke the other day and she didn't like it one bit. Here it is:
The Hawg: What's the difference between Mary Tyler Moore and a lawyer?
Marci Kay: I don't know, most wonderful husband on the planet. What is the difference between Mary Tyler Moore and a lawyer?
The Hawg: Mary Tyler Moore never passed a bar.
Now, Marci thought I was being mean by throwing out a joke that makes fun of a recovering alcoholic. I responded with some logic my dad passed on to me years ago -- nothing is too mean if it's funny enough.
What do y'all think?