Ever since those Belgians at that filthy InBev company announced they were taking over Anheuser-Busch, I've been mad as hell about the deal.
What in God's name is the country coming to when the American brewery that owns half the U.S. beer market is taken over by some pack of scrubs from Belgium? Budweiser has been touted as the American beer for so long that such a thing seems inconceivable.
But it does appear that InBev's $52 billion takeover of Anheuser-Busch will come to pass, leaving us Americans with a decision to make -- are we going to support this kind of crap? InBev will undoubtedly cut costs and you can bet the axe will fall here in the U.S. That means we'll have more Americans out of work in an economy that is already struggling.
Nope. I'll never buy another drop of anything made by Anheuser-Busch and I hope a lot of other people feel the same way. These days, that's not much of a threat, of course -- my refusal to purchase Anheuser-Busch products will result in the sale of about one less case of beer a month. Now, if I were still in my 20s, I could cost the company a lot more than that.
But I'll do what I can to take a swipe or two at those Belgian corporate raiders. I hope the decision of InBev to take over Anheuser-Busch costs those rascals so much money they can't even afford to put syrup on their waffles in the morning. They suck and deserve to be shunned, forced into bankruptcy and generally humiliated.
Ruining InBev isn't an easy thing to do, of course, as everyone and his dog buys Anheiser-Busch products. When I was growing up, I knew a lot of families that always had plenty of Busch and/or Budweiser on hand. In college, I drank Busch and Busch Light Draft and swilled enough Budweiser in law school to fill several bathtubs. And I've pretty well stuck with Bud over the years. A lot of people are in the same boat. If enough Americans get mad enough to tell InBev to suck rocks, those weasels would pay dearly for their purchase of an American icon.
Fortunately, there are some solid American alternatives to what those filthy bastards at InBev have to offer. Boston Beer Co., assuming the InBev deal goes through, will be the largest, publicly traded American brewery. The Boston Beer Co. produces Samuel Adams, a darn fine beer that tastes better than anything Anheuser-Busch produces, anyway.
Sure a six of Samuel Adams may cost a bit more than the swill InBev is hawking, but what's an extra couple of bucks if it helps an American company and makes the economy stronger?
I've also started purchasing more Diamond Bear -- a beer produced by an Arkansas company. Yes, Diamond Bear is based in good ol' Little Rock and churns out a darn fine Honey Weiss, India Pale Ale and the wonder that is Southern Blonde. You've got some dandy seasonal beers, too, and a couple of off-kilter varieties that wind up served at Arkansas Travelers games (that's a minor league baseball team based in North Little Rock, kids).
So, wean yourselves of that nasty Anheuser-Busch slop and grab some Samuel Adams. Heck, find a local brewery you like and support it. It may cost a little more, but you'll at least be supporting an American company and that is nothing but good for all of us. Tell InBev to go straight to hell and do your part to punish them for a hostile takeover of a company that's absolutely ingrained in our unique American culture.