Where the hell were these things when my daughter was small?

No, this isn't a paid post -- just a few scribbles about something I wish would have been around when my seven-year-old daughter was a wee baby.

Some products are just so cool that you've got to mention them, see?

Here's the deal. When I married my wife, our son was two-year-old (I've adopted the little stinker). So I was totally unprepared when my daughter came into the world.

Young Brenda drove me up the wall with her constant howling. If there's anything that makes one want to reach for a bottle more than a squalling infant, I'm not sure what it is.

Of course, you can't sit around drinking when you've got a young life that's depending on you for, well, everything. So, what can you do?

Ah, put that kid in a smart-alecky Onesie in hopes of laughing away all those frayed nerves, sleepless nights and all the fun that comes with raising an infant. So I found these things over at Blonde Designs while searching for a gift for a baby that would annoy a parent.

I don't know about you folks, but I would have been thrilled to get one of these to slap on my daughter when she was an infant because it pretty well sums up the joys of having infants around, doesn't it?

Yes, they scream all the time and can't do a thing for themselves. A good number of the early photos I have of my daughter, in fact, feature her wailing about one thing or another. And, of course, she couldn't tell me what was wrong -- that just added to my frustration.

By the way, mothers shouldn't be left out -- you can get a "Mommy Drinks" Onesie and join fathers in saying "God help me!" to the world. Fun, fun!

Indeed, that Onesie might be horrible, but it compliments my odd sense of humor just fine. I should point out that I really do enjoy being a parent -- something I must mention as some of my childless friends tend to look nervous and scared if they're on the verge of parenthood and hear my relate some tales of raising children.

Rookies. There's just no way to understand the mixture of joy and frustration that come with children until you've actually been there, is there.

So, what do y'all think? Are these Onesies great or absolutely monstrous?