One of the fellows in my office just loves to watch Fox News during lunch.I was watching some news with him when Fox told us to stay tuned as the truth of Area 51 would finally be told! How could I resist sticking around to watch the fun? After all, we all know that the government has been hiding space aliens in Area 51 since the 1950s. That's common knowledge.
Yeah, I've seen the truth about Area 51 revealed in countless movies, including that fine bit of film that always seems to be on television somewhere -- Independence Day (in which the Fresh Prince and that guy from Jurassic Park fight off an alien invasion).
So we hung around waiting to learn the truth of Area 51 when the Fox types came back and started interviewing a former employee of the facility. Yes, we were excited. At long last, the truth would be told!
The forme
r Area 51 employee said that all of the activity can be attributed to a top-secret aircraft. Go ahead and take a look. Take a look at the sad little report in which a former Area 51 employee shares his secrets.What? Airplanes? Government airplanes based in the Nevada desert were causing all that commotion? We're supposed to believe that? Seriously?
It is well known that aliens have invaded the top levels of government and are out to conquer this planet for -- well, I don't know what they want from us earthlings. Those aliens are sneaky and they're certainly up to no good. That much is clear.
I'm disappointed in Fox for hiding the truth so shamelessly. Fox News has been shooting for credibility for years and I'm sad to say the network has missed the boat with this "alien UFOs are really airplanes" story.
Perhaps the folks over at Fox could learn a lesson or two from that pillar of journalism ethics, the Weekly World News. That fine publication has been revealing the truth for years. Just take a look at these photos of aliens -- courtesy of the Weekly World News -- that I've scattered throughout this post.
That's photographic proof, folks. What's more, the Weekly World News actually wrote and printed detailed accounts of how aliens were directing national and state elections all over the country. If someone bothers to write something down and sell it at every grocery store checkout stand in the nation, it must be true, right?
Aliens have been slowly moving against this great nation (and world, if you want to get technical about it) for decades. The fearless journalists at the Weekly World News get it, but the folks at Fox News do
not. That's just a shame.Want to know a bigger shame? Want to know more proof of this alien-run conspiracy? You'll notice that the Weekly World News -- once as common as sin -- has been reduced to a lowly Internet publication. Why? Why would that be?
The space aliens wanted it that way, that's why. Perhaps the good people at Fox News are afraid the aliens will shut them down, too. Perhaps they're afraid that Raygar (the one I'm told is the alien mastermind) will use his atomic-powered death disruptor® on them. Perhaps they've been promised control over a U.S. state (maybe Nevada or Oklahoma) if they play ball with the invading aliens.
I don't know why the Fox News team is perfectly willing to air the white-washed, government version of what really happened at Area 51 as the truth, frankly. But the fact remains that Fox News has let all of us earthlings down. When those moon men and Martians attack the planet, Fox will share part of the blame.
All of this reminds me of the brilliant rantings of one Reverend Dallas Masterson, a fellow who spread the truth around Fayetteville when I was in law school at the University of Arkansas. It wasn't uncommon to see his literature exposing the dastardly plans of those aliens posted near campus (particularly on telephone poles near bars on Dickson Street, oddly enough).
Masterson's warning were put tossed aside by people who will -- one day -- wish they had heeded his warning before it was too late. Masterson hasn't been heard from in years. Perhaps the aliens nabbed him before someone took him seriously.
Want to hear some of Masterson's fevered wisdom for yourself, do you? Back around 1991, he did howl away on this track by the famed rock n' roll combo, Before I Fall. He knew the truth. It's sad that Fox doesn't (or doesn't want to admit it, at least).
What about Bob?
Have a look at the comment section, folks! Apparently, some fellow named Bob has taken exception to the fact that I, The Hawg, have made light of Barack Obama with this humble little post.
Apparently, taking a couple of shots at a sitting U.S. president is verboten. Unless, of course, that president happens to be one that Bob doesn't like.
Well, phooey on that.
This one's for you, Bob. Enjoy it, ace!
50 comments:
I think the only aliens we have here are ones from Uranus!
Harrison -- Oh, no! You're part of the conspiracy! Admit the truth -- protect those aliens no longer!
FOX NEWS = FIXED NEWS
:X
-- Christopher
http://life-accordingtochristopher.blogspot.com/
Well, there are some aliens here from Mexico too maybe.
Conservatives republicans are the only aliens I know and your one of them. You think your post is funny by adding a Photo Shop picture of our President Obama and Al Frankin on it. Your an A-hole.
Christopher -- Nope. Alien Conspiracy news.
Harrison -- We're only worried about space aliens. Big fences and border patrols have no impact on them.
Bob -- Look, kids! Bob's back. How have you been, ace? How's that pension plan coming?
I really don't think the majority want to know the truth about anything because they can't really handle it.
They want to hear what they think is the truth and even if you take their face and slam into the truth they would not believe it.
Got some really funny pictures...lol.
Wow, that IS an embarrassment for Fox News, I mean, COME ON, it's totally common knowledge there are aliens at Area 51. DUH! :-P
That last picture was the scarriest looking alien of all. lol
Apollo -- Funny or creepy photos? Those scare the absolute hell out of me.
Carole -- And they're just covering up the truth, like the media has always done!
Steve -- I think he's one of the advance leaders, sent to scout out the planet and find the most vulnerable invasion routes. I wouldn't trust that one -- rumor has it they eat their young.
Bob - let me tell you something, first of all you don't call my husband an A-hole. You Moron - this is a free country. And our idiot president is just that an idiot. We didn't vote for him, but we did vote therefore we have every right to use OUR freedom of speech, something about everyone in my family has fought for so you can be a JERK!!!!!
"The Hawg's Wife!"
The Hawg's Wife -- You tell him, honey.
Heh, heh. Bob went and riled a veteran.
I had nothing to say about your post except those are some scary looking aliens, especially the last one.
Nice to see Bob is still a putz.
Oh, and The Hawg's Wife is da best!!!
Da Old Man -- She's something else, for sure and certain. Clearly, it takes an Army veteran to keep The Hawg in line ;)
And I actually look forward to those visits from Bob. There are times when all you have to do to let someone hang themselves is allow them the opportunity to open his mouth.
Yeah Hawg and you've hung yourself the most effectively with your big mouth. You've proven to everybody what an A-hole you are , along with Da old man and No matter what Fox News reports it's gonna be a lie, that's all they do.
See what I mean, Crotchey? That Bob fellow is more fun than a barrel full of monkeys.
The mix of angry and stupid results in a heck of a lot of entertainment.
Keep on commenting, Bob. It's a true delight when you visit and start running your mouth. The bad grammar. The misspellings. Heck, the whole package is just a hoot.
To Hawg's wife-Your husband is the real jerk and if you think Obama is an idiot then you're a moron. Our former President Bush was a real idiot. He started a war based on lies and he left a 2.5 trillion dollar deficit when he left office.Hawg-go ahead and criticize my grammar and spelling, this isn't a term paper, it's comment about your post. Oh yeah, you and your wife make a good pair, you're both morons, he he he.
Bob -- And a poorly designed, wandering response at that.
As for my wife, let me say this -- at least I didn't have to import her.
You want to get personal, ace? Bring it...
Your a waste of time anyway.
Apparently not. You drop by here every day, according to those Entrecard logs.
And it's "you're," by the way.
Drop on in and rant anytime, Bob. It's always a pleasure.
Thanks professor for lesson, the only reason I show up on your site is because your blog always shows up on my mixed bag search with the Firefox tool bar. I would avoid your site if could, but when I saw a green likeness of Obama with horns on your site, I had to see what you had to say. If you were looking for my attention, you got it.
Bob -- And, look! You just showed up again.
For a site that, evidently, isn't worth your time, you sure have been hanging around here a lot today.
I'm flattered. Truly.
Bob is my favorite. He has to be making this stuff up. Nobody can be that stupid.
:)
Crotchety -- That's what I figure. Hell, it's fun to play along, however. Drives traffic over here, too ;)
Bob - you sure are an idiot, You know I don't think Bush was a great president. Obama is to busy raising our taxes and making it harder for the middle class to make it in this economy. Obama needs to quit wasting our money on the automobile industry and the banks, and start giving the money to the people of this country, let us decide who will survive in this economy and who will not.
As for the war yes it was stupid to start it without all the facts, but Bush went by what he was told, and I DON'T care why it started but it is going on and there is nothing we can do to change that, so therefore we need to support our troops, my baby brother was one of the first ones over there when it started and my brother-in-law will be over there by the end of this year. Obama is not pulling troops out he's just moving the war somewhere else. You really need to learn the facts. It's people like you that give this country a bad name.
As for my husband he will always be a GREATER man than you!
"The Hawg's Wife!"
The Hawg's Wife -- Awww. Sweety!
Wow your Bob leaves much shorter hate comments than my Bobs do. Lucky fella. That's why I moderate my comments, purposely frustrating them, and always getting the last word. Your way is fun too :)
Lauren -- I like to leave them right out there in the open so that the poster can be mocked by all (or praised if the individual has a point, mind you). To each his (or her!) own, however.
It's all good fun.
Hawg,
I can't figure out which is more hilarious, your post, or the comments!
By the way, Bob, lighten up. It's all going to be okay.
Paul
Eat Well. Live Well.
PurpleGreenPops.com
Paul -- I don't know -- I think maybe the space aliens got to him and inserted a mind-control implant in his head. Why else would he so violently dispute the truth?
Come to think of it, everyone who has read this post may be in danger because of the truth it exposes!
I didn't mean to put anyone in harm's way -- I promise.
This comment section is one that I have enjoyed immensely. Who would have guessed someone would get so downright irate over a photo of Obama looking like an alien?
Fun stuff...
Hawg, I think I have firgured out why Bob needs to show his frustrations on yer blog. It is because his implant wus a rectal one.
BTW, I wrote it this way so he could understand it.
Wow I'm just wondering... does "Bob" talk to his wife and child like that, too? I mean, if he's comfortable insulting someone over the Internet what is he like in real life?
Danny -- Not the anal probe! Oh, no! That might explain the extreme irritation...
Harrison -- I doubt it. A lot of folks talk tough on the Internet, after all...
Not for nothing, but I've seen Bob on other blogs. He likes to attack. When anyone answers back, he leaves. I can only presume he goes back to check his Politics for Dummies book.
yay for the weekly world news!
thanks for the post Bob :)
good work...
Da Old Man -- I've noticed that. He seems to thrive off of throwing hissy fits on blogs here and there.
The folks who are easy to rile are fun. I hope Bob had a good time over here today. I know I did.
Leslie -- It was a true American original, wasn't it?
Bob made this post extra special to me. I appreciate his efforts.
Hey State Hawg Great post I love it, as for BOB if you don't want to visit this site anymore get into your router assuming you have one and create a rule put in 192.168.0.1 and set it to block it restart and you are set.HEHE Hey Hawg i am not sure what was better the post or the comment section, keep up the great work.
Sparky -- Thanks, man. I'm starting to favor the comment section. That Bob just made my day with his temper tantrum.
Props on all the comments.
What about Bob though?
Couldn't resist!
Harrison -- I owe it all to Bob. God bless that knuckle-dragging loudmouth.
Hawg: hahaha.. Ok, it may be alien conspiracy but still Lol everyone knows that Fox news likes to report stuff and FIX the news to their advantage!
Hawgs Wife: hey hey hey.. just wait a min... BUSTARD was a bigger Idiot didn't know his left from his right. Trust me Obama is a WHOLE HELL of a lot better than BUSHTARD.
--- Christopher
http://life-accordingtochristopher.blogspot.com/
Christopher -- Bush vs. Obama? Frankly, I hate them both.
Let's take a look at the presidents we've had over the past 20 years:
George H.W. Bush
Bill Clinton
George W. Bush
Barack Obama
I'd argue that is a list of losers. We, as a nation, deserve a lot better than what we're getting in the White House.
HAWG: wow you hate bush, someone from your own Republican party...
That just made me step back reading that because I think your prob ONE OF THE FEW that hates BUSH.
WOW
EH, I thought Clinton was Ok and
HW was before my time 1988 to 1991 wasn't it?
So from the time I was age 4 though age 6, So I wouldn't remember him :S
-- Christopher
http://life-accordingtochristopher.blogspot.com/
Christopher -- Well, it's because I'm an actual conservative that I hate Bush. I didn't care much for McCain, either.
Here's the thing -- what I want in a president is fiscal conservatism (Bush failed there), non-interventionist foreign policy (i.e., attack only when facing an eminent threat -- Bush failed there) and maximum personal liberties (Bush failed there, too).
The only one who's come close to those ideals was Bush Sr. (yes, 1988-1992) and he really didn't achieve much in office. I can't stand Clinton because he was governor here for 12 years and didn't do much but raise taxes and make promises he didn't keep.
I look at it this way -- I started voting in 1987. I've never voted for a presidential candidate, but I've voted against a lot of them.
Truth be told, my favorite election in recent memory was the last gubernatorial race. Both the Democrats and Republicans fielded strong candidates who had both good and bad points, but who were dedicated to improving Arkansas (the Democrat, Mike Beebe, won the election, by the way). Every election, in my mind, should be like that. It's a shame when we feel we're doing nothing but voting for the candidate we hate the least, but I know there are a lot of people doing just that.
Part of my mentality about politics comes from living in a politically odd state. Bill Clinton cut his teeth here, but this state has -- since 1980 -- supported Ronald Reagan, George H.W. Bush, Bill Clinton, George W. Bush and John McCain. In spite of those Republican leanings, three of our four U.S. representatives are Democrats (including one screaming liberal) and both senators are Democrats.
We tend to take a more diverse view than just "what party is such-and-such" with, see?
To get back to the alien discussion... you said you didn't know why aliens would want to invade earth. I know why, I found out in the movie "When the Earth stood still" :)
After Independence Day uncovered the truth about Area 51, now we know they will invade us to save the planet from the humans! ;)
BTW, I like to watch Fox News sometimes for the entertainment...
I actually have no problem with Fox News. News is news -- the only difference these days, really, is the bias applied in reporting it.
Hmm. The space aliens want to save the humans from themselves, huh? Wouldn't that make Fox News more of a humanitarian organization than the Weekly World News?
Something to think about...
I was in area 51 ... but they zapped my memories out with the "51 prodderz" That I do remember!
Speedcat -- But -- how do you remember that?
Hawg: LOL..... I would hate to hear what you thought of OLD MAN MCCAIN
OH god..... He just drove me up the flippin walls!
GRRRRRRRR
--- Christopher
http://life-accordingtochristopher.blogspot.com/
All news has an agenda and bias and I think Fox News is no different than others.
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