Wednesday, August 20, 2008

The Hawg eats crow

Yes, folks. I'm a humble The Hawg today. I'm eating crow and admitting that I was completely wrong.

Why was I wrong? What did I do? Well, some of you folks may recall that I sent the ultimate redneck joke to none other than the great Jeff Foxworthy.

I didn't hear from Foxworthy for awhile, so I assumed that he had rejected my masterful joke. I declared him my nemesis and the summary of the whole sordid affair can be found right here.

For the record, the ultimate redneck joke, in it's original form, is as follows:

If you lost your virginity to a Waffle House Waitress
You just might be a redneck

I sent the joke by mail -- both "e" and "snail" -- and figured that Foxworthy had cruelly tossed it in the trash.

Today, however, I actually got a letter from Foxworthy and an autographed photo. I scanned both of those items in and have posted them here. Go ahead and click on the above photo and the letter off to the right to expand them and have a look. Nifty, huh?

The irony of all this -- and perhaps the saddest thing -- is that I defaced Foxworthy's picture in a juvenile manner in the post I linked to a bit ago. I downloaded that photo from the Website maintained by Foxworthy's agency, Parallel Entertainment. It's a publicity photo and Foxworthy autographed the same one and sent it to me.

Yes, the very copy that the great Foxworthy autographed and sent to me is virtually identical to the one that I butchered with a red Sharpie and some mean-spirited hijinx through The Gimp (the finest open source graphics manipulation program on the planet, by the way).

Oh, the shame and guilt I feel! To think that I -- The Hawg -- mocked a celebrity that actually took time to acknowledge my brilliance just fills me with remorse.

So I'm a big enough man to admit that I was wrong about Foxworthy and I'll make it up to the great man somehow. Yes, I'm officially a fan and will purchase all the Foxworthy-related stuff that strikes my fancy. I'll pull out that complete first season DVD of The Jeff Foxworthy Show that I picked up at the local Wal-Mart (that's Wal-Marts around here, by the way) and watch it over and over again. Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader? and the Blue Collar Comedy Tour -- you'd better believe I'll be watching those, too.

Now, nothing would thrill me more than to see the great Foxworthy -- my new favorite celebrity -- use my joke during his act. Yes, that would seal his status as the greatest entertainer of a generation!


The Fearless Blog said...

I would not be surprised if he did use the joke someday...

You have now inspired me to start writing to some of my favorite celebs in hopes of maybe... just maybe getting some autographed picture or letter or anything in return.

Great post. Neat!

The Natural State Hawg said...

Heck, why not? You never know what you'll get, yeah?

Here's the great thing about that letter -- take a look at the return address and you'll notice it was sent to my office. I sent my joke on my office letterhead and in one of envelopes so it would look official.

So, I got to show my letter and photo off around the office today. Great fun!


You are funny! I love stopping by and I would have done the same-why not.

Da Old Man said...

Way to Go. I'm pretty sure you calling him out the other day made him spring into action, though. You have become a big time blogger in a short time.

The Natural State Hawg said...

health nut wannabe mom:

I try to keep things interesting, at least. Life gets dull otherwise. Besides, my wife is thrilled that I got an autographed photo -- she's going to have it framed!

I just need to figure out what blogworthy thing I can do next ;)

The Natural State Hawg said...

da old man:

I'm sure that calling Foxworthy out prompted a reply. He took the high road and should be applauded for it.

Yep. I'm all the way up there to, like, tens of hits every day. Yeah!

Sara said...

Be prepared for the wrath of Foxworthy. He may not know what you did now, but the guilt will slowly eat away at you until you can never look a Waffle House waitress in the eye again without thinking about Jeff. That is his evil plan!

The Natural State Hawg said...


No! I refuse to believe it. I am now convinced that Foxworthy is one of the good guys.

That won't keep me from being on my guard, however...

Theresa said...

Huh? Foxworthy is dating a Waffle House waitress? Or is that how HE lost his virginity? Yeah, that's probably it.

Oh Hawg, I have a feeling he Googled you until he found out everything about you and your directorship. Uh huh. He KNOWS what you did to that photo, and that's why he sent you the exact same one. Yep, he even knows about that wart on your thumb and everything.

That's what happens to celebs like yourself you know. Everyone will know everything! And wait until you start getting royalty checks every time Foxworthy uses your joke. Ooo boy are you in for it now! LOL

Seriously though, WAY TO GO!!

The Natural State Hawg said...


I thought that was cool as can be. Definitely the coolest thing to happen in my office today. Yes, I got to show my picture around to everyone and hear about how great it all was.

That Foxworthy may have learned of my dislike of him and he's using the "kill 'em with kindness" technique.


FishHawk said...

Yes, it is good to be noticed. Congratulations, and I hope the lovely Ms. Marci had a great birthday.

Nessa said...

LMAOOOOOO, ironical that he'd autograph and send the same one back, and funny as hell. Love the joke too. I told it to my sons and they've been telling their buddies too.

Rebecca @ Freaky Frugalite said...

Well, through this tribulation you have proved that you are a redneck! LOL

I tagged you for a meme.

mikey777 said...

He shoulda sent you a photo with the words "I made $300k from this guy's joke, and all he got was this lousy picture"...LoL

I'm surprised you actually got a reply from him. Just goes to show that some celebs actually do care about their fans. Pretty cool!

crazy working mom said...

Very cool that he replied to you and I'll keep an ear out for this joke and if I hear it, I will be happy to know it's my "claim to fame"! :)

Good work, Hawg.

lala said...

lol...that's just too funny. There's every chance he did google you (I mean, it's google)

At any rate, that is pretty cool that he did get back to you. Wow!

Jay W. said...

I'm writing a letter to Meagan Fox right now!

The Natural State Hawg said...

FishHawk -- It is nice to be recognized, and Marci had an OK birthday. We're both at that age where we don't look forward to getting older, however.

Nessa -- Remember; you need to send me $5 every time you use that. Glad y'all liked it.

Rebecca -- Heh. Well...

I already did that meme! Thanks for the invite, however. What happened to your messages over there? Can't post one!

Mikey777 -- Yeah, I was surprised, too. I just thought it would make something fun to carp about on my blog. Didn't expect to hear back from the man. His stock just went up a lot with me.

Crazy Working Mom -- If that joke ever does get used, you'll know it. You're a fellow Arkie, so you're close enough to hear me yelling "hell yeah!" all the way from Benton.

Lala -- I was impressed that he got back to me. The very idea of getting "Googled" is creepy, isn't it?

Jay W. -- Good luck! Wonder what she might send you? ;)

...tom... said...

"I'll pull out that complete first season DVD of The Jeff Foxworthy Show that I picked up at the local Wal-Mart (that's Wal-Marts around here, by the way) and watch it over and over again."

Somehow I am sure he would rather you go out and buy it over and over again...

But I suppose what he does not know will not hurt him.


The Natural State Hawg said...


But that DVD cost me, like, $5!

麻辣鴨血Maggie said...