Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Hurricanes are inconvenient

Hurricanes may well be the biggest pains in the ass of all those acts of God.

If a hurricane was a party guest, it would be the guy who shows up uninvited, gropes the host's girlfriend, drinks all the beer and throws up in the fish tank.

Those hurricanes things are pests and darned dangerous ones, at that. The world is mostly water, but far too many hurricanes aren't content to wander around the ocean and not hurt anything. No, some of them turn Nazi Germany and break out of their territory, tearing the hell out of anything that gets in the way.

Why am I so particularly down on those things right now? They've worn out their welcome.

Over the past few days, we've had a flood of Louisiana residents head to Arkansas to escape that obnoxious Gustav hurricane. Ah, but Gustav is a spiteful one and the pesky thing has followed them here.

Central Arkansas is a mess right now, and I hear tell that the southern half of the state is almost flooded. Here in God's country (the Benton area), we've got the Saline River rising out of its banks and trees down all over town.

Two of those trees fell on my parents' house and put a hole in the roof. My neighbor's tree is now resting comfortably on my privacy fence. I didn't think that was such a big deal until my dogs figured out the fence had a couple of holes in it -- they escaped and went terrorizing the neighborhood.

Yeah. That's right. You suck, Gustav.

The folks I feel truly terribly for are the evacuees. I feel particularly sorry for a couple that fled the hurricane to Pine Bluff. According to a report I heard on the radio today, that particular couple got a hotel room, checked in, went to bed and some sneaky character broke into their car.

That's just great, isn't it? You're already worried about your home being destroyed by a hurricane and someone comes along and makes things worse by breaking into your car.

Of course, we always welcome people fleeing hurricanes to scenic Arkansas, but I've got a word of advice for everyone who comes here -- avoid Pine Bluff. There's a reason that town is consistently ranked one of the worst places to live in the country. When someone comes to visit Arkansas, we often hope they'll like it enough to want to come back. If a stay in Pine Bluff serves as someone's introduction to Arkansas, that just plays hell with tourism.

Yes, we've all seen photos of people robbing and looting in areas that have been hit by hurricanes. They don't need such excuses to engage in such indiscriminate thuggery in Pine Bluff. Keep that in mind.

The rotten weather that that nasty Gustav spawned should, fortunately, be out of my beloved Arkansas by tomorrow. Hopefully, the next hurricane won't be such an insufferable bastard.


Da Old Man said...

We get those things too. They are the Nazi Germany of storms, indeed.
Great post, BTW.

The Natural State Hawg said...

Thanks! It's been a miserable couple of days here in central Arkansas. All because of that pesky Gustav.

Anonymous said...

wow really pine bluff is bad for crime.

Ive been though ARK going to Miss. lol alot of the way its trees and pastures from TEXARKANA ARK untill you hit Pulaski County then you get into Little ROck and then its a pretty cityscape...

~ Christopher ~

The Natural State Hawg said...

Pine Bluff is truly as bad as everyone says. The shame of it all is that town used to really be something until the agricultural economy in the Delta went to hell in the 1970s and 1980s. Unemployment is through the roof in that town and it's a mess.

If you came from Texarkana to Little Rock, you undoubtedly went through wonderful, wonderful Benton (Saline County) on I-30 during that trip. You should have stopped at Ed & Kay's and grabbed some pie. It's not to be missed...

ImitationAngel said...

Now I hear about Pine Bluff after I have family on the way there. Pretty sad about the hurricanes and that couple. I saw on the news that Ike is a cat4 storm.

-bryan karl- said...

hello thanks for the comment about the c cleaner... ive been here... :)

The Mad Celt said...

Now then, The Mad Celt is by no means a tree hugger, but I also think we ought not to shit in our back yards. A flurry of scientific papers published since 2005 explores the link between global warming and increasingly powerful hurricanes.

Some of the facts can be seen here:

mikey777 said...

Not only did the massive amount of rain from Gustav suck, but also the tornadoes that it spawned. We were under tornado watch quite a few times over here in eastern AR, but no warnings. Thank God it wasn't like Feb. 5th of this year.

I thought that spinning mess was never gonna leave. Much drier here now. Yep, Gustav sucked.

lala said...

My impression of Pine Bluff (I had to go there to take my nursing cert test) was that, the prison is there and all the rest of the folks are families of the prisoners. I remember it as being an ugly eye-sore of a town.

Ah yes, Hanna just passed by us today(good for the surfers)and did more damage to the beach, first damaged by Fay. and now, we're just waiting to see where Ike and Josephine go.

The Natural State Hawg said...

imitationangel -- It's not just sad about that couple; it's downright inexcusable. That kind of nonsense ought not happen to people who are already going through a traumatic event.

And that may well be their first impression of Arkansas. Geez...

bryan karl -- It's a great product. Glad you're spreading the word!

the mad celt -- Well, people do seem to be paying attention to that research these days, don't they?

mikey777 -- I have heard a couple of stories of how bad things got over there. Hope y'all pulled through fine!

lala -- You've got to really be worried, living right on the ocean and all. Be careful!