Be a man. Be a KLUGMAN! (Wordless Wednesday)

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Fun with license plates

I was driving across my hometown of scenic Benton, Ark., today when I saw a license plate that caught my attention.

It was one of those vanity plates and it read "EMBALMR." I suppose if you make your living as an embalmer, you might as well have a sense of humor about it, huh?

I've long thought about getting a vanity plate but I've never actually done it. I found a dandy tool at the Arkansas state Internet site that allows visitors to generate samples of their own vanity plates, see if the particular combination of letters and numbers they want is available and reserve their plates.

That site is located right here and it's more fun than a barrel full of monkeys. Go ahead and try it out. Play with it. Go nuts. I had minutes of fun, of course, and generated my own "The Hawg" license plate and was thrilled to find out it's available (I doubt I'll get it, but it's nice to know I could).

I generated some other license plates, too:

Some of these require additional comment. For example, my son is 12-years-old and he will be driving in a couple of years. I've called him "The Boy" for as long as I can remember, so a vanity plate with that nickname on it seems mighty appropriate.

Also, I've been entertaining the idea of having an active and up-to-date law license once again. In this economy, it's a good idea to have as many options available as possible, right? That's doubly true if you happen to be in public relations and are watching PR folks getting thrown out of work right and left as organizations are trying to save money in a rough economy.

Should I ever make the decision to practice law again, a license plate that says "WEASEL" on it seems appropriate, doesn't it? Here's the odd thing about that -- both "WEASEL" and "WEASEL1" are unavailable in this state, but "WEASEL2" is available.

It seems strange to me that there are at least two people running around Arkansas with "weasel" plates. If I see one of them, I ought to wave that person down and ask why on earth they chose that particular plate and whether they practice law.

The other plates are just ones that seem appropriate for a lot of drivers in this state. Those plates are available, too, and I was impressed that the state's license plate generator won't even produce a sample if your requesting something that's not available.

They've screened out obscene plates, too, I discovered. That goes for some obviously obscene words and phrases and more covert ones such as "FUQ." Bear in mind that even if a plate is available, the state must still approve it. I wonder, then, if the "HATEYOU" plate would make it through the approval process. I somehow doubt it.

Oh, so we'll rally behind THIS president, will we?

Since the 2008 presidential elections were decided in November, I've heard a lot of talk about how we all need to rally behind Barack Obama regardless of whether we voted for him or not.

That's good advice in the wake of any election, of course. However, it's just downright funny to hear people say that as they are, figuratively speaking, scraping the "Bush is not MY president" stickers off their bumpers.

Anyone who took up the "Bush is not my president" mantra needs to shut the hell up. They simply haven't earned the right to lecture anyone.

Enjoy the inauguration tomorrow.

Ah, if only...

A few days ago, I posted something about people getting "Rickrolled."

I used a newspaper clipping in that post and Matt over at Matt-Speak pointed out that item might have been faked over at The Newspaper Clipping Imager. After looking at that site, I concluded Matt might be right -- faking a newspaper article that looks convincing isn't that hard, seemingly.

I then put together a little article that would be true in a perfect world. Here it is:

I've always wanted to own a newspaper and be a king, see. Thanks to the site Matt pointed out, I was able to pretend I achieved both. That's a fun site. Y'all go nuts.

"Rickrolled?"

I, The Hawg, am often behind the times a bit.

I suppose that happens to those of us about to hit 40-years-old. Yes, pop culture changes on us and we just don't care anymore.

Regardless, there are some things I still find wildly amusing. For some reason, it's become common to get "Rickrolled" on the Internet. Perhaps you get e-mailed a link from a friend that cleverly steers you to a video of rick Rick Astley singing his classic Never Gonna Give You Up. Maybe you find a video you want to watch on the Internet and ole Rick pops up about halfway through it.

The whole "Rickrolling" thing has, evidently, taken a turn for the worse in at least one American city. Take a look at this article a friend of mine at work sent me:


Truth be told, I couldn't find a town on the map called "Shalton" or a newspaper called The Daily that might report news in such a city. Still, it's a fascinating story in that I could very well see this kind of thing happening somewhere.

And what the hell is it about Rick Astley these days, anyway? I thought his 15 minutes of fame was up in the 1980s. I don't understand why he's popping up now and I wish someone would explain it to me.

Furthermore, if people really are going around listening to Astley and beating up people, what the hell are they thinking? Astley banged out a rather sissy form of pop that would likely inspire all the violence of an Elton John concert. I mean, just take a look at this video:

Rick Astley - Never Gonna Give You Up
Uploaded by trashfan

Maybe when I blare Rick's big hit through the office tomorrow for the sheer hell of it all will be revealed to me. Will my fellow employees react with horror, get furious or dance around with gleeful abandon?

The laziest post of all time!

Work's been a chore lately, so I've been too worn out to dream up any worthless nonsense to post here.

I'll get back in the swing of things before long.

Meanwhile, enjoy "Bastards of Young" -- the greatest video to air on MTV. How I miss the Replacements...

Head on over to Wordless Wednesday to see some other entries (or enter something of your own).

Remembering The King

Today, Jan. 8, was Elvis Presley's birthday.

I well remember when Elvis died at the age of 42 way on back in 1977. If Elvis was alive today, he'd be 74-years-old and that, for some reason, is a staggering fact.

I almost let Elvis' birthday slip by as I've been very busy with work lately. However, I couldn't let the day slip past without acknowledging one of the finest entertainers in this great nation's history. So I've attached a YouTube video taken from Elvis' 1968 Comeback Special.

Yes, that's the way I prefer to remember Elvis -- vibrant, looking almost like a thug and belting out a rock n' roll classic. Enjoy the video!

How 'bout them Hogs?

It seems we have reason to rejoice here in Arkansas.

For one thing, that miserable football season is well behind us. Last season was the first one for head coach Bobby Petrino and the Razorbacks wound up with a miserable 5-7 record (2-6 in the SEC). We'll see what happens when Petrino has a chance to get some of his own recruits and the team has had a season to get used to his system.

The best news, of course, is that the basketball Razorbacks are off to a heck of a start. This is head coach John Pelphrey's second season and the Razorbacks are 12-1 thus far.

The Hogs have won their past 10 games, in fact, and we haven't seen that happen since 1995 -- a year in which the Razorbacks made it to the final round of the NCAA tournament and lost to UCLA. Of course, the Hogs won the NCAA championship in 1994 by beating Duke (it was fun to watch Duke lose, particularly since the "experts" predicted they'd slaughter Arkansas).

At any rate, Arkansas has also managed to knock off two top 10 teams in the past week. Last week, 4th ranked Oklahoma came to Fayetteville and the Hogs beat them 96-88. No. 7 Texas lost 67-61 in Fayetteville just the other night.

What was noteworthy about both of those games is that Arkansas is a young team (you can't swing a dead cat without hitting a freshman) and the Hogs went up against two teams that had more talent and experience. Regardless, the Hogs found a way to win both games and I haven't seen the Razorbacks scrap and fight that much since Nolan Richardson left in 2002.

The icing on the cake here is that Pelphrey showed up in a red sports coat the other night, thus showing off those school colors on national television. Good for him.

Hopefully, the Hogs will keep winning those games the team is supposed to lose and make it past the second round in the NCAA tournament this year. Pelphrey's turning out to be a heck of a coach and that's good news.

The Hawg's gift to the world

As I've mentioned here before, I turn 40-years-old in June and I'm mad about it.

I figure I'm angry for the reason most people about to enter middle age are irate. Yes, I haven't achieved much of anything in my 40 years on this earth in spite of having some potential and too much education.

Ah, but I vow to achieve greatness on my 40th birthday. How? I, The Hawg, hereby swear to either develop a new interjection or modify one that's fallen out of vogue and inflict it on the world!

I initially thought a new obscenity would be good and that might be just the thing for people who want to yell something while angry but are bored with the limitations of the English language. However, my new interjection doesn't have to be obscene -- it merely has to be something unique that angry people can yell when frustrated. One that sums up an emotional state in a scant few syllables and makes all who utter it feel a little better.

I figure on assembling a team of people who are given to getting angry and yelling things. That team will help me develop the perfect interjection. I've already enlisted the support of a foul-mouthed fellow at my office and my brother (a redhead, and we know how mad they get, right?) More team members are sure to follow in the weeks to come.

What kind of interjection will my crack team develop? Will it be something so foul that a kid can utter it in school and get thrown out for a year? Will it be an anglicized version of some particularly nasty German curse? Will it not be profane at all and merely be an old chestnut that has fallen out of favor and needs to be reintroduced?

The sky's the limit here, so who knows what we'll come up with over the next few months? The only rule my crack team of interjection experts will have to follow is that it can't be blasphemous. Hey, I'm a Methodist and blasphemy just isn't cool.

My birthday is June 16, so I figure on introducing my anger-relieving interjection at that time (I'll be so mad when that cursed 40th birthday arrives that I may use my new word all day long). Stay tuned. I'm sure we'll come up with something that will catch on quick and sweep the planet.

Putting pressure on IHOP

I recently got an e-mail from a lady by the name of Rachel Thompsen who has started a blog called Bring Back Boysenberry.

Yes, I've been irate at IHOP for some time because of the fact that company's restaurants don't carry wonderful, wonderful boysenberry syrup here in central Arkansas. I fired off an e-mail a few months ago griping about the lack of boysenberry syrup, and received a note from IHOP that local managers could choose whether or not to carry boysenberry syrup.

That fact didn't help me a bit, of course, so my brother sent me a gallon of boysenberry syrup for Christmas. I became complacent and, indeed, didn't care that the rest of the boysenberry fans in the world were having to choke down IHOP pancakes covered in syrup flavored with maple, blueberry, strawberry or something else that pales in comparison to the magical flavor of boysenberry.

So I'm glad to see that Ms. Thompsen has started her blog and I'd encourage all you disgruntled boysenberry fans in the world to go visit it. You can even sign a petition over there calling for the return of boysenberry. I had trouble getting my signature to take on the petition on the blog, but I had more luck going directly to the petition located right here. I'm not sure if there's something wrong on the blog or the fact that I'm using a computer equipped with junky Windows prevented the "blog based" petition from working.

Here's the thing about IHOP. That e-mail suggesting that local managers can determine whether boysenberry syrup is carried in restaurants is a bunch of bureaucratic nonsense. It's all buck passing and blame shifting, really.

IHOP corporate certainly has the authority to force local stores to carry boysenberry. An outraged public could make them do just that. Give them hell, folks.

Top Entrecard droppers for December

Yes, it's time once again to list the Top 10 Entrecard droppers.

I try to do this every month as I do appreciate consistent visits to The Natural State Hawg and it appears that a heck of a lot of folks have chosen to stop buy here daily. Thanks, folks!

So, without further ado, here are the Top 10 Entrecard droppers for the month of December:

1. Faris Fakri
2. The Junk Drawer
3. Mr Soleh’s Outburst
4. MJG's Rambling Thoughts
5. Programming Made Easy
6. Rants, Thoughts, and Other Things
7. Communication Exchange
8. Everything Under the Sun
9. My World in My Own Word
10. The Way I See It

Thanks, folks!

...and that's when I realized I am old

It's sad but true -- I, The Hawg, turn 40-years-old in June.

I've been mad about that since I turned 39-years-old, but the significance of being on the edge of middle age hit me right in the head earlier this week. Here's what happened.

We purchased a copy of Activision's Guitar Hero for our Nintendo Wii for Christmas. My 12-year-old son raves about it. Says it's a great game and a true classic. Yes, he was able to play along with "Rock n' Roll All Nite" by KISS and rock along to a ton of songs.

He said I just had to try it. I did. Guitar Hero sucks. I picked up that nasty copy of a Gibson Les Paul and had absolutely no fun with the game. I barely made it through the tutorial before I realized it was no fun and the actual game is worse.

There are three reasons for this, I think. For one thing, I actually play guitar and I can tell you that fooling around with Guitar Hero is a poor substitute for picking up my Fender Deluxe Stratocaster, plugging into an amplifier and actually banging out a song or two.

And, yes, that's my Strat in the picture. Ah, what a beauty. She originally came with three Fender Tex-Mex pickups, but the one on the bridge was replaced with one of those thin, humbucking pickups so the guitar sounds extra angry when needed.

That's another matter entirely, of course. The point is I might hate Guitar Hero because I almost sometimes kind of know what I'm doing when I have a real guitar in my hands.

Second, it could just be that I'm getting old and still miss the good old days when playing a video game meant hooking an Atari 2600 to a television set and controlling all the action with a joystick and one fire button. That blasted Guitar Hero controller is sophisticated by comparison and I hate the game too much to sit down and mess with it until I get good at it.

No, such things are for kids, I think. My parents really didn't "get" my Atari games and I suppose I don't get a lot of the games my kids enjoy. It's all come full circle, I think.

Third, it could be that Guitar Hero just feels too much like work. Do you know what you call putting out a lot of effort to do something you'd rather not be doing? You call that a job. I've got a job and I have absolutely no interest in doing something that feels like work but provides me with no income (keep those "why are you blogging, then?" comments to yourselves).

Perhaps I can illustrate my final point with a few games I've come up with that should appeal to people who think that Guitar Hero and labor-intensive games like it are actually fun.

1. Bailout! Harrr, matey! You be a pirate on the high seas and your ship has been attacked by those lily livered lackeys hired by the queen. They put a hole in your ship and it's your job to grab a bucket and bail, bail, bail in order to stay afloat. The game comes with an exclusive bucket controller and features a soundtrack full of sea shanties. Avast!

2. TaxStar. Yes, it's tax season once again and you work for H&M Circle, the largest tax accountant in the country. Find those loopholes, record those deductions and get the maximum rebate for your customers. Can you beat out other tax preparers in your office and receive the coveted Employee of the Month trophy? The game comes with a keyboard controller and the latest copy of the tax code.

3. Sisyphus! Remember Sisyphus from Greek mythology? He was the fellow who was condemned for all eternity to push a stone up a hill, only to have the stone roll down the hill so poor Sisyphus could begin his trek once again. In this game, you assume the role of Sisyphus. There's no way to win and the game never changes a bit. Comes with a special rock controller and an incline. Because of the special equipment involved, the game costs $500 but it's well worth it.

4. COBOL Programmer Plus. Yes indeed! Your task is to write COBOL programs of increasing in complexity. After you write a program, you get to compile your code, watch it fail, chase out the bugs, compile it again and hope it works. Yes, it's all program, compile, run, debug, recompile and repeat until you go insane. Comes with that keyboard controller that can also be used for TaxStar, the Let's Go Cobol programming manual, a carton of unfiltered cigarettes and plenty of things to throw to relieve frustration. It's fun for minutes!

I predict any of those games could be a big hit, given my experience with Guitar Hero. Look for them in a store near you in time for Christmas 2009.

The Hawg is a New Year's Scrooge

Yeah. That's right. I, The Hawg, don't care one whit for New Year's Eve, New Year's Day or any of that rot.

What did I do on that nothing of a holiday? I went to bed early on New Year's Eve, slept late the next morning, watched a little football and helped my wife put away Christmas ornaments.

I ended New Year's Day by watching my 140-pound monster of a dog wander over and drink half of my red cream soda (once he stuck his huge tongue in the glass, I figured there was no point in running him off -- I didn't want it, so why not let the dog have his fun?) There's some symbolism there, I'm sure.

I figure that New Year's is a holiday for people in their 20s, anyway, and one of those things that doesn't have much meaning for those of us pushing 40-years-old and raising kids.

Oh, there was a time when I'd go out on New Year's Eve and drag home sometime in mid-February or March. Yes, there was much revelry and carousing back then, but you can't run around like a moron when you've got a wife and kids, can you? No, those days are over and I'm left with a pitiful one day off from work and the sad task of taking down Christmas decorations.

They've even deprived me of my New Year's Day bowl games. Remember when the biggest college football game of the year was played on New Year's Day? They don't do that anymore -- the BCS knotheads decided to move the championship to some other day, thus depriving us Americans of yet another holiday tradition.

Phooey on them.

And phooey on New Year's, a day that marks the end of the holiday season and the beginning of things getting back to normal. After Christmas -- the super bowl of holidays and my favorite time of year -- New Year's is incredibly anticlimactic.

Bah, humbug!

Apparently, they've lost their minds in Denver

Well, read all about it right here -- the Denver Broncos have fired head coach Mike Shanahan.

Yes, that makes a lot of sense. After all, Shanahan hasn't achieved much -- just a couple of Super Bowl championships and a record of 130-78 over the past 14 years. That, by the way, is a winning percentage of .625, second in Broncos franchise history to Red Miller who was coach from 1977 to 1980 and compiled a winning percentage of .640.

And Shanahan's only installed one of the most potent running games in the country at a team that was notoriously inept at rushing prior to his arrival.

What did Shanahan do wrong? Apparently, missing the championships with an 8-8 record this season got him canned. Of course, it's a bit rare when the Broncos aren't in the playoffs these days and Shanahan had to deal with a slew of injuries throughout the season, but that doesn't matter much, seemingly.

Denver has canned the best coach the team has had. Period. They'll regret that decision, as will we longtime Broncos fans out there. God only knows who Denver will drag up to replace Shanahan. I shudder to think. Is there any available coach out there who will be an improvement over Shanahan? That's doubtful.

Now, I'm well aware that Broncos fans go nuts over football. Let's go back to the 1990 season for a minute. Of course, Denver got killed by San Francisco in the 1990 Super Bowl and the team simply struggled when the regular season began in the fall.

How did fans react? One lady at a home game in Mile High Stadium sprayed a bunch of opposing fans with Mace as Denver was losing. Another Denver resident, distraught after a home loss, went back to his house after the game, held his wife and kids at gunpoint and ranted for awhile until he surrendered to the police. A radio sports announcer in Denver swore he'd broadcast from on top of a billboard until Denver won a game. He was up there for a few weeks in the miserably cold Denver weather.

There's no doubt there was a lot of pressure on Denver's ownership to make a change, considering how hardcore Broncos fans tend to be. Still, firing Shanahan -- the only coach in the team's history to bring a Super Bowl title to Denver -- is a bonehead move and one team owner Pat Bowlen will regret. You're an idiot, Bowlen, and you're setting your team up to be the NFL's whipping boy next year.

If I hadn't been a Bronco's fan for over 30 years, I'd say Bowlen and his team are about to get what they deserve.

The Hawg makes a New Year's resolution!

Well, it's time to make some New Year's resolutions, isn't it?

I, The Hawg, have a great one this year -- I pledge to get back into the old Christmas shopping habits my wife and I had in the past. Let me explain.

Just a few years ago, my wife and I were perpetually struggling with finances and shopped for Christmas presents through the year out of necessity. We figured it was just too hard to come up with a huge chunk of cash right before Christmas, so we'd spread our shopping out through the year.

That made things easy. If, for example, I saw the perfect movie for my dad in the middle of July, we'd buy it and stick it in a drawer. By the time December rolled around, then, the overwhelming majority of our Christmas shopping was done so we had the luxury of kicking back, enjoying the holiday season and let other people go through the agony of shopping right before Christmas.

We've fallen out of that habit a bit and the result was that Christmas came and went very quickly, leaving us with little time to enjoy holiday movies, goof off and look at lights and etc. Money's not as much of an issue as it used to be, so we put off a lot of shopping until the last minute.

Oh, we did get about half of our shopping done before December, but it wasn't enough to avoid crowds, rushing around right before Christmas and all of the other stuff we used to be able to avoid.

Christmas is my favorite holiday and I feel more than a bit robbed. It's time to get back on track.

Oh, and I figure on buying that kick butt guitar amp I've always wanted in 2009, too. I can't figure out if that's a New Year's resolution or a selfish desire, however.

The Christmas wrench!

I hope everyone had a great Christmas (I did) and I'd like to share the story I'll remember from this year.

Well, there are two of them actually -- one involves a wrench and the other involves boysenberry syrup. I'll start with a little story I like to call The Christmas Wrench.

On Christmas Eve, my wife prepared sweet potatoes and ground up the peelings in our garbage disposal. The lines between the garbage disposal and the wall clogged because, as I learned from doing some research on the Internet, sweet potato peelings are hard on disposals.

So, I needed to get a plumber's wrench so I could pull the pipes apart and get rid of the clog. The problem, of course, was that it was Christmas Eve and all the stores were closed.

Fortunately, Wal-Mart was open when I headed out at about 5:55 p.m. I got to the store and was turned away by this fellow -- the store closed at 6 p.m. and I showed up right about that time.

I said, "But, the cash registers are still going!"

He said the registers would be open until 6:15 p.m. to check out everyone who was in the store. That's all I needed to know.

A lady showed up and distracted the fellow by going through some hysterical tale about how she just had to get in Wal-Mart to buy a last minute present. While he was dealing with her, I slipped into the store.

Heh, heh!

While I was running to the hardware section, I started to wonder if I was doing the right thing. I mean, I essentially sneaked into a Wal-Mart to go buy a wrench. No matter, however. I grabbed my wrench and checked out by 6:10 p.m.

I didn't make eye contact with the guy who tried to block me from coming in the store. I was able to use the wrench on the kitchen sink and get rid of the clog so my wife could keep making Christmas dinner. That was a very good thing as we had a lot of family members over for Christmas dinner.

Yes, that wrench saved Christmas. Sometimes, then, being sneaky is a good thing.

Finally, boysenberry syrup!

Last month, I posted a rant about the fact that boysenberry syrup wasn't available at the IHOP here in scenic Benton, Ark. You can't get any at the IHOPs in Little Rock, either, and I've been furious about it.

I dashed off an e-mail and got a reply from IHOP informing me that individual IHOPs could choose to carry the syrup, even though many of them don't. My little brother and his wife live in Greensboro, N.C., and the IHOP they go to does carry the wonderful syrup.

So, what did they do? They bought a gallon of the stuff and sent it to me with one of those plastic bears that usually contain honey. I got an IHOP gift card, too.

My brother and sister-in-law tell me that I'm all set up to go to IHOP and take my own syrup with me. That's a heck of a good gift, folks. I need to try harder when picking out presents for them next year. They know me well and got something that is so cool that my mind reels just thinking about it.

Thanks to my brother and his wife (Alev, you are now my favorite sister-in-law), my wife bought some pancake mix so I can enjoy my boysenberry syrup in the morning.

I hope everyone had a great Christmas. I came out pretty well but, more importantly, my wife was thrilled that I bought her a bunch of gifts that she absolutely wanted and adored (the sapphire and diamond ring was the top of the heap, seemingly) and the kids are ecstatic over their new Nintendo DS systems and the games that go with them. The best thing yet, however, is that we had the family over to our house for Christmas and didn't have to go anywhere this year. That, folks, was absolute bliss.

A keyless lock? Yeah, I'll be getting one of these!

My boy, God bless him, loses his house key on a regular basis.

Honestly, we buy about four of the things at a time when he's out of keys because we know he'll go through them rather fast. The problem, of course, is that he comes home from school in the afternoon and has to unlock our door to get in the house.

I've found a nifty gadget that I may well buy before long -- a keyless lock system from Axxis Biometrics. Those systems are set up so that keys are obsolete and the lock opens when it identifies a fingerprint that the system has been programed to recognize.

That's right -- just set up the keyless lock to open when select people run their fingers across the lock and the door opens. The keyless lock system can even be programmed to allow temporary access to people -- ideal for when our cleaning service drops by to visit.

The prices are low and the selection over at Axxis Biometrics is large. I may well be a customer before long. I can't make that son of mine keep up with his key, but I'm almost positive he won't lose his finger, right?

Wordless Wednesday -- Merry Christmas!

Well, Christmas is upon us and it's pretty clear that my little The Hawglets -- Michael Wesley and Brenda SueCarol -- are excited about the holiday.

Here's a photo of them pretending to like each other -- proof that Christmas brings out the best in us, seemingly. We'll all be heading up to the scenic Benton, Ark., square tonight to visit the Nativity scene at the First United Methodist Church and the wonderful light display on the Saline County Courthouse lawn.

I hope y'all have a great Christmas and expect a little something from the Hawg. Yes, I'll make extra sure to click a few ads on blogs I visit today as I've noticed some people have been hitting those Google ads of mine pretty hard lately. I appreciate that and plan on returning the favor.

I know you good folks want to visit the other Wordless Wednesday participants by clicking right here. Merry Christmas and God bless!

Blogging during the Christmas season is hard

I've just about decided I should have simply kept away from my blog during December and picked things up in January.

Why? I've been fulfilling familial obligations all month long and have neglected my blog to such an extent that I'm doing things like, well, posting a picture of a dog sleeping under a blanket and resting his head on a pillow. Who the hell, other than me, really cares about that kind of nonsense?

Sadly, that's about all I've had time for lately. Frankly, I like the photo because we've got a 140-pound Saint Boxer (Saint Bernard/Boxer) under a blanket because my 12-year-old son thought he might appreciate it (it turns out that Winston the Dog does appreciate the blanket -- probably because it's about 20 degrees outside and that's unusual here in Arkansas).

Apparently, I don't even have time to set the date stamp on my digital camera. Pitiful.

If there's a point here at all, I suppose it's that December is a horrible month for blogging. However, I'll be back up to speed as soon as the holidays have ended.

And merry Christmas to all!

Auto manufacturers get bailout, Bush convinces more people to hate his guts

Go ahead and read all about it right here -- George W. Bush and his band of idiots went against the will of the American people and the Senate by coming up with a plan under which $13.4 billion will be sent to those undeserving fools at Chrysler and General Motors.

I'm very proud, of course, to live in a country that rewards incompetence and failure. If I had my way, Chrysler and G.M. would both go bankrupt as that is what terrible companies that make garbage deserve.

I'll not dwell on the details of the plan as this is old news. It's disappointing, to say the least, and I'll leave it at that.

I'd like to focus, however, on what the government should have done to help out the American auto industry. It seems clear that the government is just itching to spend money, so why not benefit the American people with it?

I'm still of the opinion that the government has lost its collective mind and I'm amazed that an alleged Republican loves spending money like a Democrat. Still, if the government is spending money like frat boys on spring vacation, I want my cut and I'm sure you do, too.

What the feds should have done is adopted my plan -- the Everybody Gets A New Car plan. Under that plan, any household with an income under, say, $250,000 would get a voucher to be spent on a new car. The voucher would be a generous $25,000, plenty for either a new car or a hefty down payment on one.

Under my plan, see, Americans could choose for themselves whether to purchase American cars and bail out the industry. I figure, however, that companies such as Honda, Toyota and Kia would get the bulk of that money because those companies make vehicles that people actually want to buy -- that's the flaw in my plan.

No, the government was out to save some union jobs and pour money into companies that were stupid enough to keep making gas-guzzling SUVs instead of focusing on fuel economy when gas was over $3.50 a gallon. Our government, in other words, is now against competition and is for robbing consumers of one of the few powers we have -- determining what products and services we want to buy and which companies deserve to thrive.

I fully expect the feds to bring back tariffs next so as to almost force us to buy junk cars made by American companies. To avoid that unpleasantness, I figure on buying at least one Toyota -- maybe two -- next year and driving them until he insanity is over. American car companies make trash and they've been given absolutely no incentive to change.