Did everyone have a good Easter?

Well, another Easter has come and gone.

That makes 40 of them for me now and that seems like a pretty big number. Apparently, such thoughts occur to a man who is about to turn 40-years-old. A few friends of mine who have hit that magical age told me this would happen and they were right. It sucks.

I hope everyone had a great time with the holiday. An increasing number of people don't observe Easter, of course, but the holiday still holds quite a bit of meaning for a lot of us. It is, after all, the holiday that does define Christianity and ought to be played up a lot more than it is. Christmas is the dominant Christian holiday, to be sure, and that's somewhat of a shame.

I grew up Baptist, but my wife and I turned renegade years ago by joining the Methodist faith. While out driving today, I saw a sign in front of a Baptist church here in Benton, Ark., that pretty much pegged where we ought to be focusing our attention on Easter (that sign, of course, is pictured here).

I never much cared for the legalism that was common in Baptist churches I've attended over the years. There are times, however, when they'll sum something up perfectly in just a few words. Often, those bits of wisdom are posted on lighted signs near busy roads. There are times they are eye-rollingly bad, times when they're an absolute hoot and times when they are right on target.

You've got to give them credit -- the on target messages make the rest of them forgivable.

I tend to think of my Baptist roots on Easter as I learned what I know about religion at the First United Baptist Church of Benton. While my knowledge of Christianity was refined and sharpened through hours of comparative religions classes at Hendrix College (a Methodist institution, by the way) and I'm less worried about being right than trying to live well, my outlook was shaped by those Southern Baptists who used to holler at me on Sunday morning.

The Bible I carry with me to church is the same Army green one that was presented to me at the First Baptist Church back in 1977, in fact. The leather bound cover has more than a few tears in it and the edges of the pages are more than a bit faded. It's showing its age, to be sure, but I've lugged that Revised Standard Edition along with me through childhood, college and law school, two marriages, two children and more moves than I can remember easily. I think I'll keep it around for awhile.

That old Bible, see, is familiar and I do love the familiar. Easter has always been one of those holidays that celebrates the familiar. I spend it with my family, hear the same story of the Resurrection, deal with getting stubborn children who'd rather play with their new toys and eat candy than deal with church and dread the start of the week.

The only change, really, is that I used to be the stubborn kid who wanted to duck church on Easter and hated putting on dress clothes and heading to church. Now I'm the parent who has to deal with unruly kids. My mom and dad have more patience than I realized. Another change is that I now dread heading to work rather than going to school. I really should have enjoyed those school days a bit more. Perhaps my children will. I somehow doubt it.

This Easter was familiar, of course, but there were some unique things about it that are worth mentioning. The most significant thing is that our children managed to dye Easter eggs without fighting. That's right -- they were able to stay near each other for close to an hour without bickering. That's worth mentioning.

Speaking of the kids, they put a set of bunny ears on Winston, our 140-pound Boxer-Rottweiler mix. Once again, Winston proved that he's a good sport. He did look miserable until they were taken off, however.

Also, it rained all day long. I can't remember an Easter that wasn't sunny. Ideally, Easter should be sunny and warm, but we had no such luck here in central Arkansas this year.

Finally, my wife made the best lemon icebox pie on the planet. That woman can cook like nobody's business. I'm a fan of just about any citrus based pie, and that one she made to day blows everything else out of the water. We're going to buy a new refrigerator in a few weeks and I've about decided that we need to get one that's large enough to store plenty of those things.

See, I saw a refrigerator that is the greatest thing ever because it's got the ability to make shaved ice. Who wouldn't want such a refrigerator on a hot summer day? Just grab some syrup, put the shave ice thingie to work and you've got instant refreshment. So what if the refrigerator with the ability to crank out that treat costs $1,800 (a significant number when you never use credit to purchase anything, by the way)? If there's another refrigerator that gives my wife the space to store up plenty of those dandy pies, I can do without the shave ice making machine.

At any rate, I hope everyone had a great Easter. Hopefully I won't be mired in self reflection when Easter rolls around next year.

Are Twitter's days numbered?

I'm sick of hearing about Twitter.

Everyone and their dog seems to be using Twitter these days and I can't, for the life of me, figure out why. Why in God's name would anyone want to keep up with the most mundane details of anyone's life? I'd argue there is no one interesting enough to deserve an audience that cares about short updates such as "I just got out of bed -- great day ahead" or "I'm waiting in line to buy tickets to go see St. Louis vs. Pittsburgh at the new Busch Stadium."

Furthermore, I can't see myself going around sending out "tweets" to people. Is there anything more effeminate than that? Plus, an avid fan of Twitter is Arkansas State Rep. Robbie Wills. That petulant, glad-handing, hatchet-faced little bastard wormed his way into the position of the Arkansas Speaker of the House and uses Twitter to send in such fantastic updates such as when he's taking his kids to ball games and that kind of rot.

If Wills is in support of something, the chances are good I'm going to hate it. That's certainly true with that latest in obnoxious fads, Twitter.

Ah, but I believe in jumping on trends and making some cash on my own. I plan on developing a system that's even more sissified and obnoxious than Twitter -- I'll call it Pretty Pink Pony and people will just love the hell out of it.

How will Pretty Pink Pony be even more obnoxious and sissified than Twitter? For one thing, Twitter users send "tweets" all over the damned place, whereas Pretty Pink Pony members will send "neighs."

While a lot of those neighs will be the familiar, short messages full of nothing that you Twitter fans love so much, Pretty Pink Pony will have an additional feature -- video neighs.

Yes, through Pretty Pink Pony, you will be able to send a short, video message that's absolutely worthless rather than just relying on text (reading is so 2008, after all).

Think of it. Let's say you were one of my fans (I'll still have think of what fans are called -- maybe I'll just call them fans and then can sign up to play in my stable or something) and you logged onto Pretty Pink Pony to see what I was up to. You might see a short video of me shaving, eating a sandwich, dropping my daughter off to school or maybe even something more exciting (like me talking on the phone at work while sending a neigh of me talking on the phone at work -- bonus!)

Yes, I'll take that self-worship that drives Twitter to a whole new level with Pretty Pink Pony. You may hate the idea now, but you'll love it soon enough. When all your friends start calling you a Luddite because you're not on PPP, you'll cave in and go for it.

And, yes, I'm aware that "PPP" is the common acronym for PayPerPost -- I might as well piss them off, too, while I'm out stomping on toes.

So, look for me to inflict Pretty Pink Pony on an unsuspecting world soon. You'll love it, dammit.

My little brother hates the ice cream man

How do you know when spring has arrived and warmer, less gloomy days are ahead?

Just watch for the happy-go-lucky ice cream man! Yes, when you see him driving down the road and blaring that "happy" music, you know warm weather is here to stay awhile.

Ah, the jolly ice cream man! He brings delight to both easily excitable children and adults alike, doesn't he? Everyone just loves the ice cream man.

Well, everyone loves him except for my little brother. My brother loathes the ice cream man, in fact, and would love to ban the alleged menace from his neighborhood.

Why does my brother hate the ice cream man so much? Because he has a full-time job and a toddler, that's why. That means my brother is often tired, but can only get a nap when he's at home when he gets my nephew to consent to a nap.

So, the nephew is snoozing, my brother is taking a refreshing nap and what happens? The ice cream man will often show up, park right in front of my brother's driveway and simply shatter those relaxing naps. That's happened to my brother more than a few times, seemingly, as I've heard my brother describe the ice cream man with language that would make a sailor blush.

According to my brother, the ice cream man parks in front of his driveway because of those "blankety, blank, blank kids next door" who flock to the ice cream man and buy his "blankety, blank, blank, blanking blank overpriced, frozen blankety blank garbage."

Screaming kids, that oppressively loud ice cream truck music and the general commotion that surrounds the ice cream man drives my brother up the wall. That proves one thing -- my brother is even grumpier than I am. I've got some catching up to do.

It's going to be a long summer for my brother, I'm afraid. I wish him well.

In the meantime, my daughter was singing a song about the ice cream man the other day and I actually found a version of it on YouTube. If I were you, I'd go ahead and watch it -- it's only about 30 seconds long and you'll laugh so hard you'll break all your furniture. Enjoy:

My daughter is wacky for cows

Everyone participating in the weekly Wordless Wednesday fun should consider getting involved with Tell Me Thursday, too.

Why? Well, the point of Tell Me Thursday is to get people to explain their Wordless Wednesday submissions. So, I'm going to explain my most recent submission right now.

That cute little girl in the photo is none other than my eight-year-old daughter, Brenda SueCarol. Since she was tall enough to peer out of the car window from her child's seat she's been fascinated by cows.

And I mean a screaming-laughing-pointing fascination with cows. A "look, look, look, Daddy -- COWS!" kind of obsession. Here in Arkansas, you pass a lot of fields full of cows when you're out driving. Brenda, since she was old enough to look through her window from her child's seat, has loved pointing out cows as we've driven by them.

Last month, then, my wife took her to see some real, live cows. My wife works with a woman who owns some pasture land and the cows that go with it. She was kind enough to host Brenda's cow-watching expedition.

The enthusiasm evident in the photo makes it clear that Brenda enjoyed her visit.

Make mine StarMaster

I was over at Blogging Ideas the other day and (as the name of the site implies) I picked up an idea for a post that wasn't as terrible as mine typically are.

The particular idea over there that I figured I'd steal is this -- write about your favorite video game. Being a child of the 1970s and 1980s, it only makes sense to pick one of those games I played constantly on my old Atari 2600 -- StarMaster by Activision.

Yes, I've played a lot of video games in my life and still have a slew of functioning systems around here -- my old Atari 2600, an Atari 7800, a Nintendo Entertainment System, a Super Nintendo Entertainment System, a couple of Sega Genesis systems (one has the Sega CD attachment), a Playstation 1, a Sega Dreamcast, a Nintendo Game Cube, a Nintendo 64, a Nintedo Wii, an Atari Lynx, a Sega Game Gear and my trusty old Nintendo Gameboy SP.

I used to have a Colecovision until it blew up on me a few years ago (a popping sound followed by a bunch of smoke is a bad sign, seemingly). Damn.

Anyway, none of those newer systems have provided the hours of mindless fun that the Atari 2600 did. And StarMaster was one of those games that I played over and over again. Why? While it is laughably crude by today's standards, it was a bit more complex than other Atari games at the time.

The game is based on Atari's Star Raiders, a game that made a huge splash in the 8-bit computer world. Oddly, Atari's version of Star Raiders for the 2600 was clunky, flickered and required a strange keyboard controller that, used in conjunction with the Atari joystick, helped players navigate through the game.

Activision -- as it often did -- took one of Atari's concepts and improved on it. Rather than a cumbersome keypad to keep up with, the StarMaster player simply toggled the "Color/B&W" switch on the 2600 to switch between a map screen (for navigating) and a cockpit view (for blasting aliens, dodging asteroids and docking with supply-replenishing bases).

The goal in StarMaster is to locate groups of alien ships on the map screen, warp over to them and blast them to bits from the cockpit view (it was a crudely rendered, three-dimensional environment). The aliens, meanwhile, are out to destroy bases by surrounding them and do their best to destroy the only ship defending those basis (that would be the one piloted by you, you lucky soul).

Ah, but one shot from an alien won't destroy your ship as you've got shields. Once those shields are down, however, it's time to warp to a base and have it fixed because an unshielded ship will certainly explode when it's hit by a shot from a dastardly alien. In addition to the shields, other essential components to your ship can take damage -- the laser cannons, radar and view screen can all get knocked out during battles.

Also, you've got to keep up with your energy level in StarMaster as it depletes quickly, particularly when you fire your cannons or take hits from aliens and asteroids. Yes, it seems the aliens can fly around all day without expending any energy, but you're not that lucky. Docking with a base will replenish that energy level, in addition to repairing any damage to the ship.

See? It was complex for a game back then and I spent hours absorbed in it. That game was firmly in the genre of those made popular by science fiction movies like Star Wars in which an outnumbered good guy flies around the galaxy blasting baddies. Being a Star Wars nut (I saw it in the theater at least seven times), how could I resist?

StarMaster is one of those games I'll play for years. If you want to read a bit more about it, head on over to this review I wrote years ago.

And whenever you want to read reviews of classic or modern video games, you'd be a fool not to visit The Video Game Critic where you'll find bite-sized reviews from a guy who knows his stuff. You can't beat that with a stick. Oh, and if you want to pick up some brand new Atari games (yes, there are programmers out there still writing for the entire line of Atari video game consoles), head right on over to the Atari Age Store (and, yes, I do own a few of the titles listed there and, no, this is not a paid post).

Wordless Wednesday -- Brenda and the cow

To see more Wordless Wednesday submissions, click right here.

Music Monday -- Mucky Pup!

Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. One simple rule, leave ONLY the actual post link here. You can grab this code at LJL Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice.

Rest in peace, Lawnie

Poor Lawnie, our faithful lawnmower, wheezed her last and dropped dead in the yard today.

The old girl could only manage to get through about half the front yard before she called it quits. It's always sad to lose a member of the family, kids.

My wife and I bought Lawnie back in the spring of 2002 after I had thrown a fit. Yes, I was mad as usual and my wife agreed to a new lawnmower to shut me up.

We had this horrible Lawn-Boy mower and I was to the point where I was going to throw it in a lake somewhere. I know people love those Lawn-Boy mowers but I sincerely hate them. They're heavy, clunky, expensive pieces of crap. Oh, and you've got to pour oil in their gas, too. What a drag.

After lugging that awful thing around my yard for a few weeks, I decided I couldn't take it anymore. I hated the thing, in fact, and wanted to go to a smaller, simpler machine. That's when we got Lawnie -- a Murray mower powered by a Briggs & Stratton engine. Not only did that mower allow us to get rid of the hated Lawn-Boy, I managed to keep it running for seven years -- not bad for a machine that cost me $100.

I'm certain my son is even more torn up over the loss of Lawnie than I am. A few years ago, I was thinking about buying a riding lawnmower. But then I realized something -- I've got a son. Yes, I'm sure he loved having the task of mowing the lawn every week during the spring and summer. I'm certain he loves the idea of contributing some effort to the betterment of the household. All that dancing and whooping he was doing when it became obvious that Lawnie had given up the ghost was merely his way of disguising his pain.

His true emotions came to the surface after my wife and I got back from the store and presented our son with his new mower -- another push mower powered by a Briggs & Stratton engine. We named that one Junior and then our son got upset. He was howling about not wanting to mow the lawn and I just know he was only doing that because he didn't feel right about mowing with anything other than his beloved Lawnie.

I'd like to think that, at least.

Oh, and by the way, I will get my riding lawn mower one day. That, however, won't be until my kids are gone and I have to mow the lawn myself. It just wouldn't be fair to let them get attached to Junior and then replace it with something else, would it?

Paid ads at Entrecard

All of you fine Entrecard members are aware by now that the site is accepting paid ads. You'll not find one paid ad on my Entrecard widget here or on the other blogs I control -- Straight Shooting Real Estate and All Arkie Army. Why? My emphasis is on the advertisers who have saved up their credits and have chosen to spend them here. I'll not share that Entrecard widget with anyone who has thrown a few bucks into the system.

And, yes, those paid ads are shared on that widget, meaning people who spend their Entrecard credits on a blog that accepts paid advertisements will only appear half the time on that widget. Want to spend those Entrecard credits here? Good for you! Your ad won't fight for time with a paid ad. Count on it.

On further consideration...

I may just accept some of those paid ads on the All Arkie Army blog. Why? I want to do a little experimenting -- see how that one fares in rank against the two that don't accept them. It's my guess that this blog and the real estate one will be rather ostracized at Epinions while the "good soldier" blog will benefit in some way.

I'll just have to see, won't I?

The Hawg figures out the value of BlogExplosion.com

For the past few weeks, I've been wondering about how to get more traffic.

Now, I'm a member of Entrecard and this little blog owes a lot to that great service (if you've got a blog, get an Entrecard account, by the way -- trust me on this). I've gotten a lot of traffic from Entrecard and was thinking it would be nice to find some other service to drive traffic over here.

A thought occurred to me while I was searching around here and there. The fact that traffic comes over from Entrecard is great, but that's not really what matters. What is important about Entrecard is that the service puts bloggers together and they are naturally inclined to interact -- to leave comments, visit blogs regularly and write content for an audience.

Yes, Entrecard has received its fair share of criticism, but I've run across more quality bloggers through that service than through anything else. Sure, people will say it's one of those "drop and run" sites that encourages people to stick around long enough to grab a credit and then head to another site in an attempt to pump up their traffic stats.

There is some truth to that, but people who simply drop and run without slowing down and reading some great blogs are only hurting themselves. No, the real value of Entrecard is relationship building -- we all blog in hopes of getting and audience, and that's not going to happen if you merely get a credit then zip to another blog without slowing down to read and comment.

Yes, the Entrecard members who stop long enough to read my prattle and leave a comment are the ones I'm more likely to visit often. When enough people react that way, you wind up building audiences and that pushes you to come up with meaningful content which leads to even more traffic. Who wants to take the time to run a blog and update it often if all that work is for naught because people don't bother reading anything?

And, let's not forget the importance of backlinks. I found out about those a few months ago when noticed that both my Alexa ranking and Google Page Rank had swelled. Why? The only thing I could keep up with is that I'm a gabby sort and tend to comment regularly.

BlogExplosion has the same potential to lead to that relationship building if it's used right. I do get a traffic boost by participating on BlogExplosion (if you visit two blogs, you get a credit in the system that's good for a visit to yours), but the traffic is really secondary just like it is with Entrecard.

I might visit 40 sites a day through BlogExplosion, and that's good enough for about 20 return visits. I'm a member on BlogExplosion, primarily, to run across some great blogs, develop some backlinks and find an audience. Getting BlogExplosion to work well for you takes some time, but it's worth it.

After all, it's hard to sift through the blogs out there that are rotten or that I simply don't want to read. Sites like Entrecard and BlogExplosion make it easy to identify great blogs and I appreciate the heck out of that. There's a lot of stuff on the Internet, after all, so having a service to direct you to some blogs you might not have heard of is something I truly appreciate.

Speaking of backlinks, I'll mention that I'm still looking to exchange reciprocal links with some great bloggers. Interested? Want to get on that sidebar o' mine. Send a comment my way and I'll be glad to consider it.

A keyless lock? I want one!

That 12-year-old son of mine (the rascal) gets home from school before my wife and I get home from work every night.

So, he's got a house key. He's had several of them, in fact. That kid would lose his head if it wasn't screwed on tight and he's misplaced a ton of house keys. Yes, he'll come home from school, throw his backpack on the floor, toss his key somewhere and the thing will just vanish (magic!) So we've got a few spares around here.

Now, the folks over at Axxis Biometrics have come up with something that looks downright ideal for Casa de Hawg -- a keyless lock system. As the name implies, there are no keys to worry about when you've got a keyless lock on the exterior doors of your home. The locks pick up on your fingerprint and that's very convenient.

That's right. No more keys to lose. No more buying a slew of keys for your a kid who careless throws his house key here and there. No more worrying that said careless kid dropped left the key at school or in some other public place so that anyone who happened buy could have access to your home.

A keyless lock system, in my mind, is right up there with sliced bread, the tankless water heater, the Fender Stratocaster electric guitar and a host of other technological marvels. Just think about it -- if you've got a finger, you can access a keyless lock system and not worry about keeping up with a house key.

And, get this -- the systems from Axxis can be programmed to allow temporary access when necessary. That's right -- set it up so the cleaning service, the neighbor feeding your pets when you're on vacation and other people can access your home temporarily.

It's a nifty little device, to be sure. I need to get one at some point.

Shameless self promotion!

Folks, every now and again something good happens and you've just got to mention it so many times that you get annoying.

I'm doing that right now.

Last month, I agreed to do some freelance real estate reporting for the Daily Record here in Little Rock, Ark. That move, of course, has caused much rejoicing in Little Rock. Riots between The Hawg fans and our less enlightened citizens have broken out throughout central Arkansas, too.

Well, that's not true. However, it has netted me some extra cash and I've gotten to use my long-dormant skill of reporting. Yes, I've spent most of my career writing for newspapers and I've missed working in journalism. I get to keep my toe in that world, at least, while still holding down my more lucrative public relations job. That's not a bad deal.

And the Daily Record gig is perfect for me as work in public relations in real estate. So I do pick up on a lot of great stories. Here is the latest batch of them so click away like crazy:

* A profile on Greenbrier Realtor Rhonda Rowlett

* An article about the joys of refinancing mortgages at low interest rates

* Home rentals on the rise?

Meanwhile, should anyone be interested in real estate markets in Arkansas, I've posted the February market report on behalf of my employer (the Arkansas Realtors Association) and I've talked about it a bit, too. Read all about that by clicking right here.

The Hawg gets fooled

Yes, I went ahead and pulled my April Fool's trick on my wife -- I hid her soap last night because she's the first one to take a shower in the morning.

She wasn't happy. She told me I wasn't funny at all, in fact. I emailed a picture of a bar of soap to my wife while she was at work today just to annoy her a bit (she's ex-Army and that's playing with fire). Ah, but she got me back by taping down the handle on the kitchen sink sprayer. I got soaked and laughs were had by all.

I think she's won this round, but I'll be back next year with something bold. All I need is a minister, a paramedic, an undertaker, a totaled car that is the exact replica of mine and a policeman with a sense of humor.

I'm still working out the details. I'll fool my wife but good next year.

Meanwhile, some wacky blogger went and pulled an April Fool's trick on me. I was looking at the traffic stats on Today.com for another blog of mine, Straight Shooting Real Estate, and noticed that my blog had been stumbled.

Great news, right? Well, kind of. Yes, my real estate blog is listed at StumbleUpon as a pornography site. Ah, someone out there has a sense of humor, seemingly. That's funny as hell.

Lessons learned

As I mentioned right here, I bought a shiny new bicycle. Rather than going to a bicycle shop and purchasing one, I bought it online.

That was a stupid mistake. Why? The gears weren't set right when the bike arrived, meaning I could only use 12 of my 21 gears. I didn't want to mess with setting everything up because I read that my chain could fly off if I got something wrong. That would be a problem.

So I took it to a bicycle shop tonight and should have it back tomorrow. I'll be out some money for that and I also bought a new seat because the one on my bike is terrible. I started adding everything up and figured out that I could have spent just a little more money at the bicycle shop and would have something that was already set up and ready to go.

I'll be glad to get my bike back so I can start zipping around the neighborhood again, but I'll be heading to the bike shop when it's time to buy something new (I saw a couple of bikes from Fuji and Giant that I'd love to own).

Oh well. I did order a couple of bells so my wife and I can go around the neighborhood on our bikes and annoy people with them. Maybe we should ride around, ring our bells and yell at kids.

"You kids think you're pretty cool with your rock n' roll and your funny books," we could holler. Great fun.

My daughter learned something new this week, too. She's on a softball team again this year (the appropriately-named Maniacs) and had a game last night. My daughter had the ball and was running to tag a girl that was running to second base.

She looked like she was tired of chasing that kid, so she stopped, rared back and pegged the poor child right in the back with the softball (yes, she's about as aggressive as my wife). My daughter learned that merely hitting a kid with a ball isn't enough to get her out -- you've got to tag the base runner or get a force out, seemingly.

I told my daughter she simply wasn't allowed to hit a kid in the back with a softball.

"I didn't hit her in the back, daddy."

"Yes you did. I was watching you!"

"I didn't hit her in the back. I hit her helmet."

Maybe she hasn't learned as much as I'd hoped.

Now, my daughter is on a team for seven and eight-year-old girls. The opening session was the other night and we were treated to a parade of the softball teams here in Saline County. The division for five and six-year-old girls is a hoot.

Now, a lot of the teams for older girls have fairly aggressive names -- the Maniacs, the Callahan Crushers, Chaos, etc. That's not the case for the teams for the youngest girls, one of which is called the Pink Ponies.

I couldn't help but think that's not exactly a name that strikes fear in the hearts of opponents, is it? The Pink Ponies? I hope those girls form a great team and stomp everyone who opposes them.

April Fool's fun, a birthday, link baiting, top Entrecard droppers and my wonderful Toyota

Well, I've got a lot of stuff to go through with this post, so I'll get right to it.

First of all, happy April Fool's day to everyone. I had the ultimate April Fool's day prank ready, but my wife told me I couldn't use it.

Here was my plan -- I was going to turn in my letter of resignation and write "April Fool's!" at the end. My darling wife figured my employer might decide, once and for all, that I'm more trouble than I'm worth.

She may be right.

Speaking of my wife, I've already pulled my April Fool's prank on her. Yes, it's about 11:30 p.m. and I've hidden all the soap in the shower. Why? She takes the first shower in the morning. Heh, heh. I can't wait to hear the yelling.

I considered doing a little something for April Fool's on this here blog. Yes, I was going to find the crummiest, slowest running scripts I could find and stick them here and there on this fine blog. I'm talking about those browser-crashing scripts Java script things that are coded so badly you'd think a drug addict wrote them.

I decided against that, however. I've hit enough blogs running those things to know that those scripts aren't amusing at all.

The Crotchety Old Man was born on April Fool's Day!

It's no secret that Crotchety is one of my favorite bloggers out there. He celebrates his birthday on April Fool's, so make sure to head over to his blog by clicking right here and leave him a comment or two, huh?

Avoid the trite references to his birthday being on a dubious holiday, huh? He's heard them all and is sick of them.

At any rate, happy birthday and many happy returns, Crotchety! Go out and have fun.

Link baiting for fun and profit

Well, fun at least because there's not just a whole lot of profit to be had in blogging, is there?

Regardless, I've decided this world would be much better if people couldn't help but run across references to The Hawg all over the Internet. Indeed, can anyone possibly get enough Arkansas-centric nonsense? I say no -- no, they can't.

To that end, I'm working on building up some reciprocal links so that I can inflict my rambling on even more people than have suffered through it already. I've added some blogs to my sidebar and want to add more. Let me know if you want to trade links and I just may do it. Come on, folks. Let's trade links. Let's get all famous and stuff.

I'll be unveiling a similar link-grubbing endeavor on another blog of mine, Straight Shooting Real Estate, so be on the lookout for that, too. Jeepers!

Top Entrecard droppers for March

Thanks to Entrecard, even a lovable rascal like me can get some traffic to a blog. I appreciate the heck out of those fine Entrecard members who spend a lot of time over here and try to show it by encouraging everyone to pay them a visit. Here are the top Entrecard droppers for March:

1. ik.my

2. Computer Aid

3. The Modern Historian

4. Lisgold

5. Programming Made Easy

6. theysaY

7. Mr. Soleh's Outburst

8. The Way I See It

9. Computer Help and Advice

10. On the Bricks

Thanks, folks!

Bob hates my Toyotas

Ah, here's my favorite post I've seen in quite some time. It seems a retired Chrysler worker named Bob thinks we all ought to buy American cars because we should go out of the way to support our economy. You can read about Bob and his dislike of my Toyotas right here.

I've already beaten this topic to death and won't do it again. You can read about my views on why GM and Chrysler deserve to fail right here if you're so inclined.

Meanwhile, I'll just mention to good old Bob that it's a pretty low-rent tactic to attack someone and not allow him to leave a comment in defense of his position (particularly after you've left a comment on his blog calling him a liar). But considering the kind of trash that's been coming out of Detroit lately, I can't say I'm a bit surprised.

Music Monday -- Toni Basil!

If this one doesn't make you grin like an idiot, you've got no soul.

Before (or after) watching Ms. Basil hop around and sing "Hey Mickey," why not head over to another blog o' mine, Straight shooting real estate, and read this important announcement about a policy change at Today.com? I'm starting to like that Today site -- I really am.

Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. One simple rule, leave ONLY the actual post link here. You can grab this code at LJL Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice.

A red letter day for The Hawg!

Folks, Friday was a great day. A wonderful day. A red letter day.

Why? Because three great things happened to me at once and that's unusual. Well, if you're a kid that's not unusual, but such fine days are hard to come by when you're an adult.

First of all, I got my new modem in a few days earlier. As I griped about just last week, my DSL modem up and died on me. I called AT&T about it and they said to expect a replacement modem on Wednesday. It arrived five days early, so I had my Internet access back. That's good news.

What else was in the mail? Why, my shiny, new bicycle! Yes, I had some money sitting in my PayPal account, thanks to my engaging in some of that mean ol' paid posting (I love the stuff). Rather than spend a bunch of cash on a great bicycle, I saved some money and found one that's decent -- a Kent Sierra Madre with an aluminum frame and a Shimano gear set.

I love the thing and I've truly appreciated the opportunity to learn just how out of shape I am. I'll be riding that thing quite a bit, I believe, and I'll let that paid posting money build up until I can figure out the exact bike I need and have the money to get it.

Ah, and my wife will be riding a bike with me. Why? I got a check in from my Epinions account and was able to buy her a dandy cruiser. Her bike has a coaster brake, no gears and she loves it. Soon we'll both be in shape, right? I had enough left over to grab my daughter a new softball bat and I got my son a bike to replace my old Schwinn Mag Scrambler that he'd been riding (truth be told, he likes the old Schwinn more, but at least he doesn't have to feel like he's peddling around on a hand-me-down).

All in all, Friday was a great day.

Trouble at Casa de Hawg!

Yes, there's trouble at my house -- my blasted modem broke.

Last year, I signed up with AT&T and got a Motorola modem that has always caused problems. Yesterday morning, the thing failed for the last time and will be replaced soon.

The friendly technical service guy at AT&T told me it would take four to five business days for the new modem to arrive, meaning I'll be without Internet service at my house until Tuesday or Wednesday.

Yes, that means I won't be very active on Entrecard and won't post much until things get fixed. That's rotten, of course, but at least I'll be rid of that Motorola modem that never worked that well even when it was new.

If I seem like I've vanished for a bit, that's why. I'll be posting the same mind-numbing nonsense before long, however.

Meanwhile...

Look! I finally started a blog list on my sidebar! I've only been meaning to do that since July or so. I'll be adding links here and there as I think about it. If you want your blog listed, let me know by leaving a comment here or hitting the handy "E-mail" graphic on the sidebar and maybe we can exchange links.

If you think you should be in that list and aren't, don't worry as I'll probably get around to it (well, when my Internet connection is back up at home, at least).

Crusing down memory lane on a Schwinn Mag Scrambler

Go ahead and take a look at that bicycle in the photo.

I love that thing and spent most of my childhood on it. That, folks, is a genuine Schwinn Mag Scrambler that my parents bought me way on back in 1977 for my eighth birthday.

Yes, the old Schwinn was made in Chicago and I took that photo in my garage tonight. The bike is all original, except for the new tires, inner tubes and ball bearings that were put on it a couple of years ago (I'm still a bit irate that the fellow who redid it put a kickstand on the thing). It's been sitting in my parents' garage for years and I'm glad to have the old girl back with me.

When that bike was new, it was the top of the line BMX bike and cost my folks about $200 (a lot of cash back in 1977). Yes, I beat the hell out of that Schwinn and it wasn't an uncommon site to see my bike sliding down the road with me behind it when I was but a little The Hawg. Yes, I got beat up, banged up and cut up on that bike and I loved every minute of it. I've still got scars on my knees and legs from those days, in fact.

The bike was little more than a heavy, steel frame and forks that you could stand elephants on, one speed (the Mag Scrambler was made to sprint), an ultra reliable coaster brake, nylon-fiberglass composite rims, handlebars that were almost unbreakable and a bunch of solid welds and great components.

But the bike held up to all of that abuse and the nicks, scrapes and gouges on the frame tell the story. I brought that home for my son to ride for a couple of weeks until we get him a new bike to replace the cheap, Chinese Mongoose that couldn't stand up to his rough treatment. The Schwinn will hold up fine to his abuse until he figures out what kind of bike he wants next.

I am almost sick over the fact that Schwinn is now just a name -- Schwinns these days are just cheap, Chinese bikes that are absolute garbage compared to those old workhorses like my Mag Scrambler that were built in Chicago and made to last.

Watching my son tool around on that Schwinn reminds me of all the fun I had on that thing. Yes, that one is a hell of a bike. The thing came with no kickstand (I'm still a bit irate the fellow who did the work on it a couple of years ago stuck one of those on there) and one of the first things I did was pull the chain guard off and throw it in a shelf somewhere.

I've learned recently there are companies out there that make BMX bikes for adults (take a look at the photo of the Eastern Traildigger, for example). I ought to pick one of those up one of these days.

Here's the question, though -- would I be hospitalized within a week or two weeks after I got a BMX bike? I used to tear down trails on my Schwinn while flying over dirt ramps that my friends and I built and pulling off all kinds of stuff that would kill me if I tried them. Yeah, I may be pushing 40-years-old, but I know I'd try some of the stuff I did as a kid with an adult-sized BMX bike.

Oh well. I did, of course, take the Schwinn out for a very short ride today. I looked like an idiot. Adults should never, never, never get on bikes made for kids. We just look (and feel) stupid.

Trivia!

Here's a fun fact -- famed cyclist Lance Armstrong started out on a Schwinn Mag Scrambler. Cool, huh?

The Hawg is a blooming idiot

Folks, I'm here to announce to the world that I -- The Hawg -- am a damned fool.

Why? A few months ago, I had a little blog about real estate. I kind of let that languish for awhile and decided to revive it. So, I moved it all over to Today.com from Blogger a few days ago and applied for an Entrecard account.

If you'd like to see my little real estate-related blog, just point your browser over to Straight Shooting Real Estate. Henceforth, I shall refer to that blog as The Hawg's Folly for reasons that will become evident in a moment.

So, I registered my revived blog with a few sites, traded a link or two and applied for that aforementioned Entrecard account in hopes of getting a little traffic. So everything was great, right?

No! Hell no! Absolutely not, in fact. Today.com just announced that the traffic magnet known as the Entrecard widget would no longer be allowed on their blogs as of April 7 (or thereabouts). So, I've got a little time to build some traffic from Entrecard over at The Hawg's Folly, but not much.

So now what the hell do I do? Every traffic-getting site I've used stinks compared to Entrecard and I've got a new blog that has gotten 12 whole hits without it. I'd rather not transfer everything back to Blogger because I've put in some work on The Hawg's Folly, so I'd like to find some other ways to get traffic.

Do you fine folks have any suggestions? I'm sick to death of trying schemes and reading hyperbole-laced rants full of promises that are obviously too good to be true.

Any suggestions would be appreciated. Geez. That'll teach me to try something new, huh?

Music Monday -- Weird Al!

Something everyone who grew up in the 1980s ought to enjoy.

Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. One simple rule, leave ONLY the actual post link here. You can grab this code at LJL Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice.

The next Hawgmobile?

My wife and I snapped a photo of this dandy vehicle the other night.

We were driving by an apartment complex near our hometown of scenic Benton, Ark., and saw this fine van. Of course, we had to get a photo. It was mandatory. We had no choice.

Who wouldn't want to tool around in Scooby Doo's Mystery Machine? That would be truly, well, groovy.

Now, I know this van isn't in the best shape (it didn't look like it had been driven in some time), but the particular Scooby Doo fan that went and did this to his own vehicle certainly has the right idea.

This isn't the only Mystery Machine I've seen around Benton. A few years ago, my wife and I saw one that was in much better shape and was more accurate in every way. Yes, the paint scheme was dead on, the van looked like the model used in the cartoon and even the hub caps were facsimiles of the genuine article.

There's nothing wrong with having a vehicle that's just fun, is there?